I never really post about politics in the least bit, but this is just down right hilarious.

 Apparently everybody is getting in touch with their higher selves (even if it takes a few drinks)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/drunken-ben-bernanke-tells-everyone-at-neighborhoo,21059/

Here is a taste:

SEWARD, NE—Claiming he wasn't afraid to let everyone in attendance know about "the real mess we're in," Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke reportedly got drunk Tuesday and told everyone at Elwood's Corner Tavern about how absolutely fucked the U.S. economy actually is.

Bernanke, who sources confirmed was "totally sloshed," arrived at the drinking establishment at approximately 5:30 p.m., ensconced himself upon a bar stool, and consumed several bottles of Miller High Life and a half-dozen shots of whiskey while loudly proclaiming to any patron who would listen that the economic outlook was "pretty goddamned awful if you want the God's honest truth."

"Look, they don't want anyone except for the Washington, D.C. bigwigs to know how bad shit really is," said Bernanke, slurring his words as he spoke. "Mounting debt exacerbated—and not relieved—by unchecked consumption, spiraling interest rates, and the grim realities of an inevitable worldwide energy crisis are projected to leave our entire economy in the shitter for, like, a generation, man, I'm telling you."

And hell, as long as we're being honest, I might as well tell you that a truer estimate of the U.S. unemployment rate is actually up around 16 percent, with a 0.7 percent annual rate of economic growth if we're lucky—if we're lucky," continued Bernanke, nearly knocking a full beer over while gesturing with his hands. "Of course, if everybody knew that, it would likely cripple financial markets across the entire fucking globe, even in various emerging economies with self- sustaining growth."

You need to be a member of Ashtar Command - Spiritual Community to add comments!

Join Ashtar Command - Spiritual Community

Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • The thing about getting hammered is that it brings out the underlying you and mostly honesty however one must learn to be drunk all the time but without actually drinking. This is the hardest thing for me to do because when i am drunk i speak totally truth but it hurts peoples feelings in the process.

  • It's totally fake guys :)

    http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/bernanke.asp

    • Good chuckle though!

      • He he I agree. Lightened up my day for sure!

  • Anything from The Onion dot come is comedy, parody, silly and not to be taken seriously. Well, take it seriously as it's a lot that SHOULD be happening, but won't, or things were more than thankful haven't happened. :-)
  • im not feelin this if im not mistaken first of the onion is known for disinfo and the photos look photoshopped to me!!!!! I call B.S.
  • Haha I love the onion, very funny!

    If only it was true !!

    "The Onion is an American news satire organization. It is an entertainment newspaper and a website featuring satirical articles reporting on international, national, and local news, in addition to a non-satirical entertainment section known as The A.V. Club." 

  • This is hilarious.  It really made me chuckle, and actually I do believe that he might be expressing what he feels as truth.  Sometimes liquor can act like a truth serum, and to me his divulging that things are truly grim economy wise resonates as truth.  I am sure his words will come back to haunt him when he reads them and thinks.....my god what have I said and done!

  • "And hell, as long as we're being honest..."

    There is nothing I can possibly think of that would make me believe Ben Bernanke to be a person of honesty!

    Thats the point. It rather looks like yet another attemp to draw a doom & gloom future...

This reply was deleted.

Topics by Tags

Monthly Archives

Latest Activity

Malcolm posted a blog post
Above photo is from theblast.com THIS BLOG IS MEANT FOR THOSE WITH A KNOWLEDGE OF URANIAN ASTROLOGY AND THE 90 DEGREE DIAL. Cross referenced horoscopes used for analysis with Ozzy Osbourne's 90 Degree Dial include Jim Morrison and Timothy Leary due…
4 hours ago
AlternateEarth commented on AlternateEarth's blog post A Short Story By AE-aka-Aidan Gregory. Redonro From Tau Ceti Makes A Cameo Appearance!!!
"Thanks Movella!
I'm trying a new character in Gary Moore and write detective short stories
Detective Moore of the Galloway Police
Redondo and Cockey
accent would be funny!
I have two books published.
'Martian Concerns and other Tales'
And…"
7 hours ago
Movella commented on AlternateEarth's blog post A Short Story By AE-aka-Aidan Gregory. Redonro From Tau Ceti Makes A Cameo Appearance!!!
"I just read this.. I enjoyed it.🥳 Thanks AE. Some parts of the story gave me Stephen King vibes, it was pretty thrilling. Also, it made me laugh when Redanro said ‘You’re alright mate’ in a British accent! I could imagine it being an East London…"
9 hours ago
AlternateEarth left a comment on Comment Wall
16 hours ago
AlternateEarth left a comment on Comment Wall
"Gov. Tim Walz Signs Bill Into Law That Gives Illegal Aliens Driver’s Licenses, So They Can Vote In Corrupt Democrat-Run Elections
https://www.infowars.com/posts/video-gov-tim-walz-signs-bill-into-l..."
17 hours ago
AlternateEarth left a comment on Comment Wall
"Thanks for posting that Movella"
17 hours ago
AlternateEarth commented on AlternateEarth's blog post A Short Story By AE-aka-Aidan Gregory. Redonro From Tau Ceti Makes A Cameo Appearance!!!
"Thanks Movella -hope you enjoy it!"
17 hours ago
rev.joshua skirvin posted a blog post
 Huge Quakes As Energy Increases In The Cosmos And The Time Of Great Wonder!There have been 103 earthquakes in various places around the world in the last 24 hours of mild to medium strength (“3s”,”4s” and “5s” of magnitude), but two of them have…
17 hours ago
More…