Ben Bernanke--Drunk and Honest

I never really post about politics in the least bit, but this is just down right hilarious.

Apparently everybody is getting in touch with their higher selves (even if it takes a few drinks)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/drunken-ben-bernanke-tells-everyone-at-neighborhoo,21059/

Here is a taste:

SEWARD, NE—Claiming he wasn't afraid to let everyone in attendance know about "the real mess we're in," Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke reportedly got drunk Tuesday and told everyone at Elwood's Corner Tavern about how absolutely fucked the U.S. economy actually is.

Bernanke, who sources confirmed was "totally sloshed," arrived at the drinking establishment at approximately 5:30 p.m., ensconced himself upon a bar stool, and consumed several bottles of Miller High Life and a half-dozen shots of whiskey while loudly proclaiming to any patron who would listen that the economic outlook was "pretty goddamned awful if you want the God's honest truth."

"Look, they don't want anyone except for the Washington, D.C. bigwigs to know how bad shit really is," said Bernanke, slurring his words as he spoke. "Mounting debt exacerbated—and not relieved—by unchecked consumption, spiraling interest rates, and the grim realities of an inevitable worldwide energy crisis are projected to leave our entire economy in the shitter for, like, a generation, man, I'm telling you."

And hell, as long as we're being honest, I might as well tell you that a truer estimate of the U.S. unemployment rate is actually up around 16 percent, with a 0.7 percent annual rate of economic growth if we're lucky—if we're lucky," continued Bernanke, nearly knocking a full beer over while gesturing with his hands. "Of course, if everybody knew that, it would likely cripple financial markets across the entire fucking globe, even in various emerging economies with self- sustaining growth."

"Good morning Drekx, they do it as long as they have a physical form, so till 8D? And do they live monogamous or how long does a relationship last because they live millenias long, how is it with that?"

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Replies

Fence Sitter March 23, 2012 at 4:56am

The thing about getting hammered is that it brings out the underlying you and mostly honesty however one must learn to be drunk all the time but without actually drinking. This is the hardest thing for me to do because when i am drunk i speak totally truth but it hurts peoples feelings in the process.
Fence Sitter March 23, 2012 at 4:56am
somesayimnot March 23, 2012 at 1:01am

It's totally fake guys :)

http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/bernanke.asp
- Amy McCann Quintana > somesayimnot March 23, 2012 at 4:06am
  
  Good chuckle though!
  - somesayimnot > Amy McCann Quintana March 23, 2012 at 11:34am
    
    He he I agree. Lightened up my day for sure!
Dan March 22, 2012 at 11:04pm

Anything from The Onion dot come is comedy, parody, silly and not to be taken seriously. Well, take it seriously as it's a lot that SHOULD be happening, but won't, or things were more than thankful haven't happened. :-)
freebz March 22, 2012 at 10:54pm

im not feelin this if im not mistaken first of the onion is known for disinfo and the photos look photoshopped to me!!!!! I call B.S.
Qwuake Up March 22, 2012 at 10:50pm

Haha I love the onion, very funny!

If only it was true !!

"The Onion is an American news satire organization. It is an entertainment newspaper and a website featuring satirical articles reporting on international, national, and local news, in addition to a non-satirical entertainment section known as The A.V. Club."
Marique March 22, 2012 at 9:23pm

This is hilarious. It really made me chuckle, and actually I do believe that he might be expressing what he feels as truth. Sometimes liquor can act like a truth serum, and to me his divulging that things are truly grim economy wise resonates as truth. I am sure his words will come back to haunt him when he reads them and thinks.....my god what have I said and done!
Cortex March 22, 2012 at 6:53pm

"And hell, as long as we're being honest..."

There is nothing I can possibly think of that would make me believe Ben Bernanke to be a person of honesty!

Thats the point. It rather looks like yet another attemp to draw a doom & gloom future...