I've always felt sort of out of place. I've always felt different than other people, and no matter where I go, I always seem to stand out. I get attention that I don't always want....sometimes I feel like some strange novelty, here to give people a glimpse of something they've never seen before. It can get lonely sometimes....and I've always been a lone wolf....but it does get lonely....knowing that you're just so much different than everyone else.
It's an interesting phenomenon. I call it the MJ syndrome. Both Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson had it. People, who don't truly feel unique....always feel the need to stand out, and be "special". But the truly unique ones...stand out so much....that all they want is to be normal. Sometimes that's how I feel.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking, I'd just give anything to be normal. To just be like everyone else, to not stand out so much. Usually I don't think too much about it, or when that thought comes, I just move on with my day.....but today, it's hitting me hard. We all want to be different....but not so different. We all want to be an individual, but not so much that you feel like you're the only person in the whole world, who's like you. We need a sense of community...a sense of connection, a sense of similarity with other people.
And for someone like me, it's hard. There's simply next to nothing in common, with regular people. I don't understand their ways....why they think what they think, and do what they do. I don't understand their pettiness, and smallness. I don't understand why they lack so much ambition, so much talent, so much intelligence and will. Well I do understand...but it's difficult to have a connection with them, because I'm completely the opposite.
That's why....all my life....I've had to form my own peer group. My peer group, the people I've felt connected with....were always the greatest standouts in human culture. People like, Michael Jackson, or Michael Jordan....Arnold Schwarzenegger.....presidents, scientists, inventors, explorers.....all the great people throughout history. All the people who've achieved the pinnacle of excellence for this world.....in whatever field they've chosen. These were always my peers, the people I've felt closest to, and most similar to.
And I've always been that way. That no matter what I do...I have to be in the absolute highest class, among the true masters at it. I felt that's where I belonged....that's who I was...and I deserved to be there. And that's ironic, seeing as how I grew up....among the absolute lowest of the low class....in terms of material. We were one step above homelessness. And I always despised that....because I felt better than that....I felt like, not only was I high class, I was among the highest of the high. And I would do whatever it took, no matter how long it took....to get where I belong. And that's what I've been doing.
But it gets lonely. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I wish I was just a regular person. And didn't have so much ambition and will....to be the absolute best that I can be. Or more accurately....sometimes I wish, there were others like me. People that I can actually meet, and be in a community with. I don't have many friends....and the friends I do have, are not like me at all. I've never met anyone like me. The people who are like me....I can't know. But I still try to surround myself with them, and feel some sense of community and bond.
I understand how Michael Jackson felt....and understand why he would have paintings of all types of different great people, and put himself in the painting with them. He felt those were his peers. Those were the people who were like him. And that's how I feel, I've always felt that. And like Michael....sometimes life can get lonely like that. Sometimes...you just want to be like everyone else.
But that's the card we chose to play....and experience. There's no point in griping about it....we're here on a mission of service. To help this world...be the best world it can be. And that mission is what I've been focused on, for the better part of 10 years. And, as is my style...I hope to be able to aid with that, on a big scale. But it does get lonely....and it's difficult being such a stand out....but, the only thing to do is keeping moving forward....with faith that everything will work out for the better.
Anyways...thanks for letting me share my heart with you guys....and thank for listening.
Oh JFK is definitely up there, I've actually been studying Kennedy for the past two weeks. I always kind of felt he was just another President, albeit one of the light...but I didn't see what all the hype was about, until I actually really started learning about him, and he definitely deserves his standing.
And I know..I know..it's just sometimes it can get a bit lonely...not so much for not being connected to other people, but more in the sense of...just being so different...you feel abnormal. It's a very kind of raw thing, an isolation type of feeling...no one truly likes feeling alone....at least not so much lol
Right and that's my idea of normal too, to me that's normal. It's normal to be the best you can be, and be somebody....and do big things. I've always felt that was a normal, healthy ambition that anyone should have. So it's amazing to me, to see people...without that. I chalk it up to 2 reasons, number one, they're too immature, they feel too young, they don't feel like an evolved enough person to be able to do these things....and therefore, number two....they feel that living a life of fun and party, and making money...and being able to do all kinds of things and buy things.....that's what'll bring them fulfillment.
But as we know, it doesn't work that way. They may get temporary highs, but they'll never get the type of fulfillment that comes, by taking on a higher purpose. By truly evolving as a soul, and working towards something truly positive. And even that won't bring you true fulfillment.
But it's just a hallmark of this society, in many ways, our civilization is in its adolescent stages....with a few stand outs....but as we grow into real maturity, people will begin to change....whenever that is lol
Thanks Louise :)
That's how I always feel - a Stranger in a Strange Land.
Well...at least I'm not alone in that lol
You hang out with Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson? I knew he wasn't gone. Elvis all over again.
I don't hang out with them, per se...I never met them. But I do feel a kinship and a bond with them...and in many ways I feel closer to them than I do the people I know. It's just how it is I guess...
To Rome with Love - There is a plot in this movie where a man becomes famous, but then wants to just be normal again. Once he becomes normal he then misses being Famous. Both have its up and downs, in the plot the man realized he rather have the perks of being Famous. Anyways that was not very relevant. If you really desire to be normal then I am sure you can do so successfully. No one is forcing you to be a God.
I suspect that there is a need for John to take a leaf out of Michael Jackson's book and aid his privacy by donning mask, gloves, hat and dark glasses....
;-) It may deter the autograph hunters and certainly aids anonimity...:-)
Well clearly not lol I never understood that....you don't want people noticing you....so you be the only person on the street wearing a mask and gloves...that's sure to not make people notice you lol