The culture of romantic love

... is not very old. Actually, it goes back to the beginning of the 19th century where people in Europe discovered the romantic touch. There is even an epoch called Romanticism.

A basic writing was Goethe´s "Werther", even Napoleon Bonaparte had this book in his pocket (the hot blooded man sent letters to Josephine, his wife, not to wash herself when he came back from his missions; later they separated, for the hot blooded love had gone)...

Anyway, it started 200 years ago that people had a word expressing their dreams of a lover: it must be a romantic affair. And it became common under free people, while those living on farm lands for instance had to manage their property also by means of managed marriages: parents were picking partners.

Such culture of parental arrangements is indeed very old and a global phenomenon. It happend everywhere in the world. And while thinking a little deeper, it appears that such custom is not that bad as many contemporary western people think of: parents do mostly better know who is fitting good for their kids.

It appears that romantic love dreams are more expressed in young ages, and this has a good reason. It belongs to human evolutionary heritage to find a partner (or more than one) to spread their genetical pool. And mother nature is very effective: it uses hormones and the sense of smelling. Serotonin, Dopamine and other stuff makes the human ready to smell a fitting partner. Chemistry is building a bridge.

That goes for about 2 years, and the chemical bridge will need other bridges connecting two people. If that is not the case, the relation is cooling down. Other bridges are for instance common interests, goals, insights.

The first couple of years a romantic relation is mainly guided by chemistry, later it needs other stimulants coming also from a common history. Here will be revealed whether the relation is guided by love - love coming from awareness and understanding.

I have observed multiple abilities people experience while dealing with love to a partner. A few have no difficulties loving more than one person even in a romantic way. Others build a relation like a symbiosis of mutual dependency. Others treat their partners like a property, others like siblings, other ones like mom or dad. Many fear to be alone, others use the partner like a sex machine. The variety is big.

In my opinion any talking about a "twin soul" and looking for it appears like an exaggerated dream set of Dopamine addicts. I don´t mean that in a ridiculous way, it is simply a fact, and everybody must undergo certain experiences.

But an onesided emphasis toward romantic love is generally a cultural phenomenon being not very old, and it is mainly pushed by body chmistry - not more and not less...

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  • Well romantic love is a beautiful thing. I'm actually very romantic lol A good romance is one of the best experiences you can have.

    And no, I don't think it's just a chemical reaction. The chemicals are the effect, not the cause. The cause is within, it's emotion....feelings....the chemicals are just what allows you to feel that emotion, that energy....as a physical sensation. You make the mistake science has always made, and that's looking at the physical effects, and thinking that's the cause....like consciousness must be the product of brain function. It's the opposite.

    Albeit, it's connected and intertwined. You can alter your state, via chemical manipulation. You can manipulate brain function, to alter the consciousness. But...the cause is the consciousness, first. And with the consciousness, I believe you can overcome any outside manipulation of your physical system.

    And I disagree too...about how we look for mates, solely because it's our genetic programming to reproduce. Again...you make the mistake science always makes....and forgetting about the spiritual side of life. You don't fall in love because this person is the best suited to give you good children. Some people might, but they're too caught in physical thinking. You fall in love, because you love and respect this person, you appreciate them....you admire their beauty, or their strength.....you admire what a good heart they have, or how intelligent they are. You're grateful that this person has love for you....so you love them in return. That's what really makes any real person, fall in love. It's not solely a physical thing....nothing in life is.

  • I like this...and have been coming to a similar conclusion.  To me it seems as if we are our own twin flames.  And when we have fully balanced our male and female or sending and receiving energies within and without....we become whole...only then does that happen. 

     

    When we are fully balanced, we want to share love with everyone...there is so much joy that you feel like you want to share it with others--regardless of the age, gender, color, class, or physical attraction etc of the person. You just want to LOVE HUMANITY.  And to me...that's far better than a intimate back rub and some flowers...

     

    Seeing God/Source/whatever you wanna call it in everyone is the ultimate romance--a selfless romance that can heal the world.

     

    Much love :) 

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