I have come along long way to here and  wonder now what i can do. how do i serve? i wish to see myself in a world  of wonders dancing with beings of light and love. i want to share myself completely and be accepted fully for who i am. I am that i am. I am the observer of my reality.

I find myself dipping back into things i was almost sure i had released because i was certain it did not serve me. i think in some way the universe is teaching  me how to use my sight of conciousness to release fully the degraded thoughts of completion. what i mean is that until i can really experience that which doesn't serve  me then can i kno what i am truly releasing. certain things are taking on odd forms for me lately and its hard to decipher the coding to find the source. I might be taking on alot from other people lately and it s being processed by old channels of mine i want to completely iradicate. I find myself taking on others energy alot. it's in my nature but it isn't always beneficial for me. i believe i need to clear myself and stay clear for others so that i can help the energy in turmoil. simple i guess.

It almost seems that when i have cleared myself and am fully energized that if i do not use this energy to energize others my energy level disapates. almost like if i'm selfish with the energy it closes down. It almost seems that i should be more focused on my outside world more than my inner being. maybe i have fallen short by thinkin it good to be so focused on the health of my being that it has become a distraction from the reality of health. If i work to perfect my body does that make the world around me anymore perfect. It might make a difference but i think it is just as strong or stronger to apply yourself at the same time of your healthy practice. I think in my last relationship i was targeted for being selfish for taking time for myself in respects to my spiritual health. It was a battle and ultimetly was the reason for breakup.This might be why i feel a slight guilt in taking time for healing myself and supplying my energies instead of serving others. i must find a balance and i am calling out to the universe to help me find ways to supply my health and the wellbeing of others at the same time.