RELATIONSHIPS: What are you opinions about painful and joyful ones?

Hi guys, Namaste

I've been wondering a few things.
With all the changes going on and the ascension going on ... I have been in a relationship for 2 years with my boyfriend.. I am 23 he is 31...

When i met him i saw 11:11 everywhere following me around and i thought it was "meant to be" i saw we could have an amazing future, he was amazingly polite, sweet and charming... untill i got to "really" know him after he moved in my house with my mom... we have been through a very very hard situations because he has anger issues .. he asked me many times to forgive him and i did..he is going to a psychiatrist now to help him deal with it...he is not much of a spiritual person at all... I can say... it is still a strange relationship. He promised me that he is going to work and make things work between us but its mostly sweet words and no actions. I am a light worker and i think he is holding me back from growing or probably not?
I recently found out that he told his dad on an open email that he doesnt want to be with me and that he didnt want to be for a long time and allot of other things that to me there are Lies, they are not true at alll. i felt so sad about this because he seems very happy to me and we had many plans...i didnt understand why he didn't tell me? after i calmly asked him if there is something i should know or if there is something bothering him...he got verbally abusive and very defensive and just went to sleep. The next day he was on this anger again..i left him alone the whole day but i am in great confusion.

I just need a different more deep perspective and support on my issue here. I've tried to help him spiritually, energetically, emotionally, mentally and financially.... but its all up to him if he wants to change or not but now he is getting very abusive and disrespectful and its very confusing for me whats the mission i have with him? Whats the plan?? I don't know what our contract is?? What do u guys think?

Ali, I have a few things to say about the questions you have posed about what you are meant to learn from your experiences with your boyfriend. I am saying this because I love my fellow sisters very much and because I lived through a long long marriage with someone with anger issues myself, and asked myself the same questions that you have asked often about why I felt I must stay with him and whether it was part of a soul agreement or something. I finally left my marriage of over thirty years because he tried to kill me by driving my side of the car into a cement wall. For me that was the writing on the wall. After recovering and doing much soul searching I found the answer to why I had stayed with him all those years. It was because I had low self esteem and I needed to learn to love myself as much as I loved everyone else and had to learn that I deserved to be cherished and treated with respect. Your boyfriend is over thirty years old and his lesson is to learn not to take his anger out on others. If you truly love him you will let him go. He will not learn anything about his lesson he needs to learn if you continue to let him mistreat you, believe me I know this from my own experience.

After I left my husband, it was only then when he had lost me and realized how he had treated me and realized that I did not deserve it, that he finally got help. He told me that my leaving was the best thing I could have done for him because neither one of us was happy all those years. He did not respect me because I did not respect or love myself to put my foot down and say NO MORE. So my soul lesson was to learn self love and respect, and his soul lesson was to not be abusive toward people he loved. Now we both are happy in our new lives and are the best of friends. So my advice to you is to love yourself to let him go from your life. A situation like that never has a happy ending when things keep escalating. You are doing neither of you any favors as far as emotional and spiritual growth. Women are great ones for hanging in there in bad situations though, so I understand. But you must take care of your wellbeing, and he needs to learn his life lessons.

Please do not take offence at what I have said, it is spoken from my heart.

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Replies

3vhvdxnclmnsm July 22, 2011 at 6:02am

DING DING DING DING

Can you hear the alarm bells ringing?

From experience Ali, GET OUT NOW.

"A leopard never changes his spots, he just changes his hunting methods"

You were meant to meet him and learn how to spot "him" again.

With love Karen
Marique July 22, 2011 at 5:35am

Ali, I have a few things to say about the questions you have posed about what you are meant to learn from your experiences with your boyfriend. I am saying this because I love my fellow sisters very much and because I lived through a long long marriage with someone with anger issues myself, and asked myself the same questions that you have asked often about why I felt I must stay with him and whether it was part of a soul agreement or something. I finally left my marriage of over thirty years because he tried to kill me by driving my side of the car into a cement wall. For me that was the writing on the wall. After recovering and doing much soul searching I found the answer to why I had stayed with him all those years. It was because I had low self esteem and I needed to learn to love myself as much as I loved everyone else and had to learn that I deserved to be cherished and treated with respect. Your boyfriend is over thirty years old and his lesson is to learn not to take his anger out on others. If you truly love him you will let him go. He will not learn anything about his lesson he needs to learn if you continue to let him mistreat you, believe me I know this from my own experience.

After I left my husband, it was only then when he had lost me and realized how he had treated me and realized that I did not deserve it, that he finally got help. He told me that my leaving was the best thing I could have done for him because neither one of us was happy all those years. He did not respect me because I did not respect or love myself to put my foot down and say NO MORE. So my soul lesson was to learn self love and respect, and his soul lesson was to not be abusive toward people he loved. Now we both are happy in our new lives and are the best of friends. So my advice to you is to love yourself to let him go from your life. A situation like that never has a happy ending when things keep escalating. You are doing neither of you any favors as far as emotional and spiritual growth. Women are great ones for hanging in there in bad situations though, so I understand. But you must take care of your wellbeing, and he needs to learn his life lessons.

Please do not take offence at what I have said, it is spoken from my heart.
- Diana > Marique July 22, 2011 at 6:35pm
  
  Marique wonderful reply :)))
  - Marique > Diana July 24, 2011 at 4:59pm
    
    Thnak you Diana. I had to respond and usually I do not give advice, but this was so close to my heart.
- Ali > Marique July 22, 2011 at 5:43am
  
  Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your honesty and wisdom.
Eish Core July 22, 2011 at 12:03am

Let him go, respond to any further drama with unconditional love.

my guess is it is time for him to face his own demons, whatever they may be.

but that is my opinion... do what your heart tells you to do
- Ali > Eish Core July 22, 2011 at 6:13am
  
  Thank you Ross.
  
  I see you replying my post and as a man that you are... i am amazed that you are so nice. Thank you for your reply. Namaste
  - Eish Core > Ali July 22, 2011 at 9:59am
    
    One thing I will suggest, is that you call in your Twin Flame for love and support, for they have much to offer in that regard. I havent met mine physically in this life yet, but I can feel her presence and its so beautiful it brings tears to my eyes at times.
Dripley21 July 21, 2011 at 11:45pm

my mom was in that kind of relationship and it just kept pushing her back, ali actions speak louder than words. ask yourself just one thing: are you happy with him? your answer will decide your path.

.
Butterfly July 21, 2011 at 11:41pm

Ali dear,

Even though you can't see 7 letters after my name with a big ego, my advice is to simply cut ties. You do not put up with such abuse from any man! It will only get worse and you will remain ensnared otherwise.

Look up narcissism and energy vampires on the internet. Why are you helping him even financially? He's taking you for a ride.

Hope this helps

Anonymous