pain, guilt, remorse ... etc, are also important feelings, forgive it's a must (otherwise we will be our own prisoners), but forget ... remembering is important too, so we 'restrain/control ourselves from repeating it again, and look for a different approach to deal with people and situations ... ;))
You remember the event but not the pain. The memory is what it is, with no emotional charge to it. So you learn what to do next time, but without attitude. With no buttons to push.
Kindred spirit here's the best example I can give you.
A experience from my life on forgiving and not forgetting.
I was married for 10 years up till 7 months ago, loved her deeply and gave it my all. Took care of her and her 2 beautiful girls in every way I could, and then one day she said she did not want to be me anymore. She said it was nothing I did she just did not want to be with me anymore. It crushed me. I did everything right, loved her more than anything, did everything I could do to make her happy. But in the end she wanted to go on her own path, and I had to let her go. The pain she caused me is the most I ever felt. I also knew that I needed to forgive her for hurting my heart. One of my main goals being with her was her happiness and if it was not going to be with me, I had to let her go so she could find what she needed in life. Like I said I forgive her, and I 'll never forget her. I gained a lot of wisdom being with her and I grew a lot inside. If I have chose to forget that experience, I will have chosen to forget everything I have learned from those 10 years.
I hope this helped.
Awesome reply and example inifinite soul. I went through something similar with my ex. I forgave him and let him go. We both learned about forgiveness and love through the experience. Now we are friends. I loved myself too much to have the burden of bitterness and anger on my soul because of his actions which were very hurtful and demeaning over the years I was with him. It liberated me to not hold anger in my heart even though he had physically and mentally wounded me. Now life is so much better. By leaving him I gave him wisdom lessons into how not to hate himself so much that he felt he had to take it out on the person he loved. We both gained so much in learning valuable lessons....Now I remember the good times and that does not make me sad. I chose to dwell only on what I gained instead of what I lost. Great post question Shawnzie.
You can forgive them as a person but not their actions and you don't forget maybe.. over time.
My recent relationship was about me standing my ground and knowing my worth..Do I put up with second best or move on.. so I made the decision, no more second best Sue and now move on as I have more important things to do and in the meantime I am sure I will meet a person way better. This energy was linked to a familiar situation with my last that I stayed in for 3 years. So I need to make sure I listen to my gut feeling even if it upsets me but in the end I want what is best for me and I know I will attract the right one, very soon. I know longer make excuses for peoples actions/behaviours.. why .. do we do it.. maybe a lot of us have a low self worth.. I am not worthy of something better... you know what.. absolutely I am! I hope all people can reflect on my comment.
Lots of love
As you know, the universe just throws you a curve ball maybe same scenario but different person and could be even better than the last.. so .. do you stay or do you say nope.. I deserve better!xx
...I Think So....At First You Forgive....But ...You Still Remember What It Is Your Forgiving...:)......But Eventually.....I Feel The Act Of Forgiveness...Kind Of Releases You....From Holding On To The Thought....Of What Your Trying To Forget....+ You Are Able To Move On.....If You Get Me.....:).....x.....
I get you and totally agree...well said.