My synchronicities had led me to a person, who actually I wasn't led to, but joined in as an intern where I worked. All kinds of synchronicities, from the 11:11 co-incidences, to her aligning entirely with my life,and all that I had experienced so far. However, it was a disaster from the word 'go', 5 months later, I've lost the same job, She finds me an imposition in her life, and there are more synchronous events, like the discovery of this page : http://blackdogstar.blogspot.in which aligns perfectly to my life.
The strange part is that I find myself sandwiched, and kind of.. squeezed in between my synchronicities, my will to resolve this conflict with this person, and her having nothing but absolute disdain for me, in this moment.
I've lost the very job, I've lost my friends, I've lost the time in this golden year that could've been utilized in meditation, and helping others, because I blindly followed the signs and forgot about everything else.
I feel that my ego-mind is so active that even when I try to meditate for extended periods of time, the ego reacts, and disallows me from connecting with my higher self, because as far as I could THINK it, I have, and I've also had my cousin, who's an indigo child tell me that I've had some brain damage from this 'exercise'.
I possess a calm frame of mind, because ultimately what I've come to realize is that NOTHING is paramount, however, I feel like I've failed my mission, and I don't fear anything really, just disappointed.
Insights?
Replies
I too thought I failed. I dropped the ball on a number of huge synchronicities, and wound up feeling depressed and lifeless for about a year almost.
I also thought I had brain damage, but mine seemed to result from dwelling in a particular apartment. the apartment was located down town, so I believe it may have been high EMF levels that caused me to have some very intense and bizare symptoms in my frontal cortex area. It really disturbed my thought and ability to visualize, and took down my ability to see auras. I've been searching for the cause, and doing my bestest to heal the leftover wierdness in my head and thinking. But it doesn't help to have that weight on the already difficult process of living and ascenscion!
I thought perhaps it was brought upon me by some mistakes I made at a job and with a woman, but I can't believe that it should have been that intense. Oh well!!!!! Live and learn, live and UNLearn. Also teaching me really to be gentle on myself and not hold expectations about what I am or should be.
Well the triangle...my "favorite" one...
But who it is me to talk like that since myself i took another Mark as well..
It is still hope for all..and no one fail..not yet..
It is still time..
But if you do want to Ascend you must repent yourself in the front of The Lord ..it is no other way..
And you must be clean of impurity..
The hunger for more Power and Control make some to lose them Path to them immortality..
And they use something else as a substitute..
Well them Greed make them to be blind and to get lost on the way..
But you can avoid to be like them..but that it is Always your Choice...
I will Always wait for you at the Gate..with the right key in my hand ..if you are worthy f it..
That it is the Way and the Path..
I think we all go through trials and tests. I've had my fair share of them. Sometimes the only way to move forward is to realize that mistakes are positive. Others have to go through what some may call the Job initiation and lose everything. I've felt exactly the same way. I was under so much psychic attack and in mental hospitals that I felt I had failed majorly. My life is very different now because of it and I have to once again climb the ladder. I'd thought about all the things I could have done different so much to the point it was bringing me way down. I've only recently begun to bring myself back up from what others had done to bring me down. I now realize there's a right and a wrong way to go about things. If I knew then what I know now, sure, I'd be further. Nevertheless it was necessary. Maybe my small insight will help you realize your not alone out there.
I usually view synchronicities as reminders that we are on the right path and at worst if they too frequently then perhaps there is a choice coming up that needs to be carefully considered and perhaps attempt to view from a different perspective or make an other than standard choice as what may seem normal. Other than that just listen to your heart and don't try to focus to much on changing 'helping' others, one or two attempts and if its not taken or seemingly acted upon by the other to their benefit then just step back from trying to help, be courteous, and wait for them to ask for help in changing themselves.
nah mate
you havn't failed
your actually in the midst of it roiling and whelming around you
your brain's undamaged...its changing
logic is taking the back seat it was built for
you said" i dont fear anymore" good position to be in!.dissapointment is just exhaustion and sadness leaving
loved
enjoy
I felt like my twin flame and I were not pulling off what we came to do together either, and we have no contact now, but when I "let go" and turned it over, a whole other plan unfolded in order for it to be fulfilled--which is waaay bigger the original one!! You don't have to be together right now in order for it to come together when you keep believing and trusting!! You'll see.
Don't stop there! You have to keep on making "good mistakes" until you find things falling in your favor. It's sort of like the football game. When you are in your huddle, in there with you are your Higher self,Soul,Spiritual self, spirit guides, Ascended Masters etc., you know... The Winning team! You come up with your strategy to move the ball further towards the goal line, get back in the game and execute, knowing all the time that your "team" is out there on the field with you assisting you. Don't concern yourself with exactly what they are doing because they know the plan too and their goal is your goal. You just have to keep your eyes on the prize!!! Now get out there and WIN!!
i love that reply, i am en ex athlete with a beat up arthritic body and a renewed heart,.,.,.,love and light to us all.,,.,
bigt
don't worry because it is telling you you have done what you came here to do and now it is time to allow others the same opprtunity to help what they can add to the light. Just float the boat on gentle waves and calmly ride it out. Sometimes doing nothing is more beneficial then to do anything. It seems like a rest period, just do not do anything if the heart does not need to. I had to learn this lesson as i even typed to you right now just what you went through is what i am almost getting out of. just let it be. John Lennon said it best. Listen to the song to jump start a new path.
when in the end when nothing leaves you no choice then The key word is T R U S T. within and let it be!
and allow the god/goddess part to take the Helm
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