What would be a good solution or a good way to efectively take care of
a self inflicted internal war.
A never ending fight or sabotage from the inside out?
I call it a war for it is beond the once in a while criticism of the inner critic,
we are in a total grip of self destruction, where there seems no way out and no rest at all.
So what would be the answer?
To take out this anger and extreme negative feeling of total failure.
It does seem to eminate from childhood past and is now blown out of proportion in a adult state.
I would not dare to call it a depresion more a active way past due clean-up of past garbage that was introduced in sutch a violent way it seems to come out in the same violent way it came in.
So some intell from you guys would be verry welcome, please note that i am beyond words,
This situacion calls for some kind of action, in a efective way.
This means i am also beyond going into endless searching for the right terapy or others.
This is a call for the right and most effective way of dealing with this so that there might be a fast recovery and no delusional hidings are posible.
Like they say take the Bull by the horns would be a good way to put it.
Note that i am aware that this right on going for it might actually be my major problem so
feel free to comment on that to.
Replies
One of the main things that happen when we get in this universe is that we split in 2.
So now we have a twin-flame somewhere, and with whom we try to re-connect.
Now getting into this universe is already a feature by itself but to split and re-unite is something mutch more important.
While we are here split in two we have at ouwer side guides that help us re-member who we are and how to connect with ouwer twin-flame.
Their help gets mis-understood by the Ego mind that rules this universe and makes you believe that you are here to experience-learn and do manny other things while in reality you are suposed to NOT forget your other half and re-unite.
That one half or both run astray and get involved to deep into this universe is the challenge to get out of.
Not invent excuses to give power to the Ego and say that one twin-flame just has to wait for the other to join after it is finished doing whatever it is doing.
For only the Ego is aware of this world your as a soul split in 2 are only half aware.
This is why your journey is si long life after life for if in one of these lives you really would connect with your twin-flame heaven would drop at your feet and all this game playing and pulling and inventing illusionary games and so called adventures would stop in a instant and the real life and journey of a full powered soul would begin in all its glory.
I have done billions of things in lives and other lives etc etc but the biggest and most beautifull of all still has to come into awareness and that is the re-union of the twin-flames.
So if one of the twin-flames is aware and the other only half, even with the law of freedom, it is important that both wake up if they ever want to get out of this illusion.
This is not manipulation or anything else for that matter it is natural, this is why, when you become more aware like me lately you see verry clearly with your half soul and heart where the other one is and with the love and natural force of guides and others you heal and re-unite into adventures together.
Enough of the half done things with half twin-flames or other none real things.
It is verry sad to see like myself souls live half lives when they could verry easely live full blast together with their other half.
Yes some are to far from eachother but others that are so close that they can realy without a doubt feel it in awareness....please stop playing the game of illusion and wake up. For it is important to do so because this is a power that will transforme this universe forever.
Not the playing -aventureous whatever me games. There is not sutch a thing as "hey you had a few more lives doing this so now you will wait for me, for now it is my turn".
When i drowned and my life movie passed by...only the feelings that were close enough to my twin flame showed up not all the other stuff for that is from this world not ours.
we came for something and lost awareness so when awareness finaly showes up for 2 twin flames to re-unite do not keep on running ...stop and re-unite...then live in full harmony.
This is what i heard from my guides, more and more clearly without interference from the ever lasting Ego talk...
Everybody talks about waking up so wake up...feel...be real...stop delaying the truth, the real journey as 1.
There is no way that half a twin-flame can have as mutch off a journey and adventure as a whole of 2 twin-flames united.
This is not intended as a ofence or a attack on others beliefs, it is what is happening to me as i am writting this.
And the pain that a twin-flame feels when in close proximity of its counter part, and this counter part is to intangled in this world is not in Fear or desperation but in longing for union as one, like it was in the beginning.
I will never give up, and now lately i renounce living a lie of separation of flames for the good of the so called adventure or karma or lessons.
This universe is like one of those marine stories where you here chanting and see beautifull things only to atrackt you and make you forget your real mission. Your union with your other half. So you can move on as ONE and be powerfull enough to make it back home.
Because one flame has to keep playing games and try to undermine everything its twin tries to tel or teach. And come up with words like manipulation-control-etc etc when the only real thing hapening is a try to re-unite what is suposed to be the ultimate truth.
I have come to the understanding of the crazy-ness and illusion of this universe and i have no more words or feelings to describe this.
Only total emptyness is the result of a non-conection with the other part.
And with this a empty life ...once again.
Somehow things cleared up and information started to flow in.
One huge breakthrough was remembering that i am a highly sensitive person.
Never mind the you are weird or the what are you doing or we do not understand you.
Now that i remembered i feel mutch better, especially that from chidhood on, the presure was so heavy i totally blokked everything.
My inner search and like mentioned before dark night of the soul, did make some huge changes.
Also my inner dialogue is more clear, last week a verry interesting message came through about the problem between my wife and me, words that i have heard before but not really got into, i even have argued against it.
Twin flames was the message and the whole explenation i got that night.
The only problem seems to be with the cleanup of some past negative and nefast energies.
That are now blokking ouwer reunion as it is ment to be.
So i am totally in a WAOW state because we knew this but kind of lost the real meaning of the whole thing.
Also to realise that this is ment to happen one way or another kind of took away the stress of trying to fix or figure out everything.
We have some grounds to cover still but the seed is planted and we are aware of it at least.
So big is the importance of being aware i can't emphasize it enough.
We both know that after separating in highschool we lost something that was not found again in 28 years in any relationschip or situation, still we fell prey to the forces of separation again.
Just because one knows something in his head does not say that it will last, it has to be in awareness if you want something to become real and strong beond a doubt.
It must be felt through al the energy field together, not just in this or that chakra.
I also have a strong feeling i will be visiting Mount Shasta next month. What for me seemed verry strange.
But i will go through with it and be open to what comes forward in this experience.
So i would like to thank so many people here that do give verry good and challenging advise.
For by looking at all different options and ideas one can open up and challenge himself untill only truth stand on it-self.
:))))
on those experiences and the anger slowly went, the sadness can still be there sometimes.
If you can place a value on a negative experience....it becomes a valuable experience for our growth.
I have some pdf files that may help if you email me I'll send them to you.
be well....and find joy in your heart...
At least now i understand with my brains what is going on.
This picking up moods-energies and thoughts from others without knowing about it did make a mess of me ever sinds i was a kid at school.
Now i understand why my job at the restaurants was so heavy and used to wack me of balance all the time.
Now i know why i have so reluctantly been fighting against going back to that kind of job.
So now is the question...what job can i do? For now, untill i manage this empathic ability i have.
It will take a while to manage because i do not only pick up people around me i pick them from miles away.
And i will probable learn to difirenciate my own feeling with those coming in from others.
It is a relief thought to know now because many feelings and thought that would spurr up that were not mine or could never be mine can now be seen and felt and put in place instead of giving me headaches and guilt feelings.
Especialy guilt about thoughts that do not resonate with me at all even if i would look for them inside myself i could not find the root there.
What a relief...realy incredible.
some of us have been working on that one for YEARS... hehe
personally, I have been blessed with a small pension so have been able to take time to focus on balancing and clearing, a BIG job on its own... my advice for you would start with a question: What do you love doing? In my case I fell completely in love with the energy work itself and have been able to share my gifts with others who have been willing to pay me for it... that only after many years of study, mind you... Reiki, T'ai Chi, Yoga, learning to ALLOW the energies to move through me instead of fighting them... it's all a process, and it continues to this day... some more Richard Bach for you: Here is a simple test to tell whether your mission on earth is finished yet: Are you alive? Then it isn't. lol
Congratulations on your insight Cedric... stay focused, the answers are never far away
and once again ~peace ^o^
Like Mandella once said in his speech, we are most afraid of our own powers to succeed. And i have more than once felt like Mickey Mouse in the beginning of the movie Fantasia. Where everything seems to go wrong.
I am in awe of your replie goldstar, for i had fergotten all about it. Thank you for being attentive.
I have always been aware of the law of attraction, still in these last few weeks i have found out where my major problem lays.
This is the first step for i have no clue yet how i will work on this one.
Seems i have had this problem or in another light ( a blessing) from birth on.
I am to open to everyhting that surrounds me, i am aware of my ability to sense energies from places,people and so on.
What i had not realised was the way i live this energy.
I have read about the word empath, but i had never thought i would be having the problem of really living others pain even up to the point where it could actually destroy me.
I kind of had this thought in the back of my head when a few weeks back i asked in a post if your invironment affects your being and your spirituality in anny ways.
For i have been going down fast lately and one highly volatile conversation i had last weekend with a friend of a friend had me come up with the statement that i was her mirror. verry clearly knowing that deep inside i am totally not interested on being one, for i believe in the law of atraction and being a mirror does not really work in my best interest as a soul or a person.
This word came out of the blue and i kind of got hit by lightning at that point.
Wondering why on earth would i want to be a mirror if this is what is putting me in trouble?
I also realise that me being her mirror also might imply that she is my mirror to.
This is why it stayed with me through the whole weekend.
Now reading about the Indigo adults, wich i had read 15 years ago but at that time it did not realy
seem to be important even if it was guided to me, was again a answer to me asking for help this time.
but now i read it again in a diff state of mind and realizing all kinds of things related to my journey.
As you pointed out goldstar i have been called to walk the talk , even from within the call has been made.
Still i do not walk but wobble around, and going up and down like a JoJo. and i think it has to do with this fear of succeeding and also a backheaded thought that is always there saying i should not leave anybody behind.
Now this do not leave anybody behind is also a major problem that keeps me stranded where i am standing.
Especially because there is a overflowing of left behinds eventually.
Also the scouting in me that takes me into verry deep spiritual Quests and inner travels does play tricks on me when i come back to give and inform others where to go and what to do.
For then i am walked all over and discarted untill next problem shows up and someone needs me to go look and inform.
Althought the words "Be a example to others" or 'Be a beacon of light for others to follow" come to mind and heart. It is not always clear when in the heat of the moment that means.
look at how your tone has changed from your first post here through the process of dialogue :-)
an interesting quote from Richard Bach comes to mind: Learning is finding out what you already know, Teaching is showing others they know just as much as you, and Doing is demonstrating that you know something. We are ALL teachers, learners, and doers. ~Illusions
many sensitive souls have been trained by the world to look outside of themselves for their fulfillment, or their sense of worth but that's NOT where our true light shines... to quote an old Master, seek first the Kingdom Within and all these things will be added, yet even He had to take 40 days to Himself at a certain point... a lighthouse doesn't shoot off fireworks to show itself off, it simply shines ;-)
it sounds to me like the war is coming to an end now, cheers!
...and everything I say could be wrong (chuckle) ~peace ^o^
needless to say that i read this gasping for air and yes in tears for recognising myself in all of this.
Now that i understand i will have no need to get into trouble every day.
http://paganandproudofit.com/empath-3.html
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