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Don't feel bad for feeling a little "dark side" inside you. We all have it, or at least had it in another life. There is nothing right or wrong, everything is experience and you MUST go through it all. You play games on Xbox? So what? It only proves that you are open minded. If you like to play computer or console games, in order to feel that you live the life of your ingame character, if you want to experience a virtual life, then do so without fear. Many games these days are quite complex. I play games too, especially games that are related to fantasy and medieval age. I like to feel like a warrior of light, and probably I've been one in another episode of my Samsara. You can learn many things from games nowadays, especially if you plan to try astral projection. As for the psytrance music or the newage binaural beats, I assure you they are created by beings that have already awakened and the power of Kundalini Shakti is inspiring them to compose.
Oen, you say you are not a channeler or "entirely a telepath". I think you already made contact with your other half (i am talking about the inner self, not your loved one). You are a telepath, as you are writing from the soul. Tell me now, don't you just wake up in the morning KNOWING STUFF? When you write something, when you're being honest and share your feelings with us here, you're actually channeling certain information. You don't feel the same? Just think about it: sometimes you write a long message and when you read it you ask yourself "now where did I come up with this?".
The fear that you were talking about, it's created by our own conscious mind, by our ego. Those who fear 2012 are still blind to the power of light (they still have time to awake) and that blindness is caused by their own ego. I asked this before and I ask it again: do you really think that the unascended human being has the power to destroy our Mother Earth, which has been a haven of life and the library of knowledge for so many ascended beings through the millenia? I believe not. Live without fear, for the great crossing is close and it will bring light.
Bless you!