Twin Flame Angst

(This is simply my experience with my own twin flame. It may not reflect on everyone's twin experience.)Has anyone else noticed that Light-working sometimes becomes twin-soul worship? A lot of people seem to be seeing Ascension not as a moment of personal spiritual awakening, but as the time when they are supposedly reunited with their twin. Seems to me like a lot of people are waiting for the perfect romance to drop into their laps. Well, I have been with my twin for five years almost, and I can tell you that it isn't a park full of daisies all the time. Sometimes it can be a whole planet covered in daisies, but those moments usually only come after there has been some kind of realization of just how much we care about each other through all abuse.Yes. When you are with your twin, you will abuse them, and they you. This is because you abuse yourself and they ARE you. And YOU are them, and they abuse themselves. The purpose of being with your twin is not to skip around and smell the roses and make love all day and night for years as if the fire is never going to let up. The purpose of being with your twin is to learn some real nasty stuff about yourself and try to fix it. They are like a "mirror." Because they are your exact and equal opposite, they can show you your true self by bringing it out of you. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. There's a lot of ego to kill in a twin flame relationship.I ran into my twin one day at the front door of a friend's house. I have known him since elementary school, but he was always just an acquaintance. However, this year, he was making more of an impression on me as he has started showing up in my classes, and ironically at my birthday party without even being invited or told about it, and the weird thing was, he was the first crush I had that I was afraid to tell anyone about. The other weird thing was, he was the first crush I had that just kind of worked out like it was on schedule. We hung out at my friend's house that day I met him at the door and got interested in each other. At school, things worked out almost perfectly to set us up for a date the following week. After that night, all was fixed in the universe, as it were.It was very fluid and very easy to become one with him. We even look alike and are sometimes mistaken for fraternal twins, or brother and sister. Astrologically, we are exact and equal opposites. His birthday is June 29, 1988. Mine was January 29, 1988. 29:29=11:11. We were raised with similar families in similar situations, only the sexes of the various characters in our family were switched. He has a younger brother. I have a younger sister. I have a single mom. He has a single dad. There is much more to compare between our families, but I will keep it brief.We are the perfect balance of the other. Yin and Yang-- exactly the same but exactly opposite. However, this does not cause the lusty, star-struck romance as is often fantasized about in twin flame reunions.In the beginning, yes, we knew there was something very special about our relationship. We were puzzled at how we seemed to be the same person, only he was the right brain, and I was the left, and how we had always been around each other without noticing. For many months we had no quarrel. Nothing at all. Of course, all these things eventually fade out to life's dramas.Years started going by with no sign of us breaking up, which is what most high school sweethearts do, right?But our relationship does not and never did contain any cinematic sex scenes (nor does any relationship, I suspect). Despite the aching rawness of how in love we are with each other, it does NOT look like a fan-fiction. Neither of us are absolutely turned on by the other in every way. In fact, sometimes we find each other downright ugly and uninviting-- sometimes for a long time straight, but the truth in our twin-ness is in the fact that despite all the terrible things we have done and may do or say to each other, we could not live without the other at this point. Like, literally. I think if one of us died, the other would follow very closely. Not necessarily out of romanticism, but mostly because we are simply bound at the edges of each other.This is due to the fact that in a twin flame relationship, you are basically in a relationship with another version of yourself, and you are meant to learn the lessons that entail this kind of situation.I love my twin. He is inextricably bound to my life forever as simply as he came into it. I guess the word I would use to describe a twin flame relationship is simplicity. It's not a fable or a drama-- that's not what a good working relationship is supposed to look like. Soul mates, maybe, but that is another journey, and just as valid. The wonder of a twin relationship is the absolute freedom to be yourself. There never really is any griping about free time or space apart because being with a twin is essentially like sitting by yourself. We can sit in a room quietly for hours, doing our own thing, which is usually the same thing. We don't get bored of it either. In fact, we put off plans just to get more "sitting around each other" time in. When he goes to work, sometimes I open my mouth to speak to him and realize that he's gone. He just feels like he's a piece in my atmosphere, all the time, even when he's not in it. There is no body shyness, and we are one of those couples apt to be naked in each others presence all the time, not because of sexuality, but because we are allowed.Sex with your twin is, and you may disagree, like having sex with yourself. Despite the love connection, there really isn't much more to have happen for you there that does not already happen when you are masturbating. And this has nothing to do with performance, I assure you. It has to do with how connected you are. There's no need to put on a show of affection or lust, because it is simply known between us. Afterward, neglecting to lay around and cuddle does not cause much of an upset. When twin souls are done having sex, usually the attitude after is, let's continue going about our twin business, because unlike most other relationships, sex isn't the only moment of connection. It continues long after and for all the time you are meant to have it. A calm be-side presence, everlasting.I post this only because I have seen so many lamenting "twin-soul-longing" posts without any real substance beyond angst. And angst is not what you get in this kind of relationship. In this relationship, you get peace and truth, even if it is a bit banged up.No one will ever be able to find true validation and love outside of themselves, twin flame or no twin flame.And to be honest, sometimes I long for my soul mate, because twin souls are hard! But of course I could never have it any other way.

I met my twin soul a couple years ago. However, mine is actually quite different and I just wanted to share this. After reading your discussion, I believe that you are definitely right, your experience might not reflect everyone else's and it does seem like other's twin soul experiences can be different and unique. My twin soul and I looked like complete opposites. I am dark haired and of shorter and smaller stature. He is blond-haired and tall, about 10 inches taller than me. He is much more quiet and reserved. I am a lot more enthusiastic and open. He is distant, cool, and cautious, and I'm approachable and spontaneous. But the differences, in a way, complete us. There's such an understanding and the incredible bonding between us about this that I just can't describe. We both admire the qualities in one another and flourish on each other's energy. When we are together, it feels as though we are here to unite and serve a mission or purpose together. We seem so different from each other, but yet somehow so similar. We always imitated each other’s actions. I remember resting my face on the palm of my hand on top of the desk, I looked around and noticed he had done the same as well. I almost tripped; he almost tripped. We always wore the same colored clothing and outfit selections. I remember hoping that if I put on my black jacket with a blue shirt with jeans one day, he wouldn't be wearing it because that would be a little awkward. I remember seeing him wear the same outfit selection some days. I bet the style of clothes in our closets look alike. I couldn't even wear my glasses because it looked so similar to his. I bet we would've found out more similar things if we actually had spoken to each other. My heart was beating so fast and I remember almost being able to listen to his heartbeat. I remember hearing him breathe so close to me. When I looked into his eyes, I felt like time and space didn't even matter. I felt a burst of energy lifting him and me higher. It's like we were the only ones in that room. Just feeling each other's presence was such an amazing feeling. We didn't even physically touch each other and I already felt so happy and close just being besides him. Our communication was almost as if it was telepathic. I remember on the last day we separated, I remember telling him in my mind, that I would always be with him no matter what and I'm going to miss him so much. I felt so much frustration and unconditional love energy around me at the moment. I felt him trembling; he felt the connection too. I didn't even look at him directly when I said this in my mind, and he turned to look at my direction. I felt he wanted to ease all of that frustration I was having. I felt better. Again, we eventually had to separate and we never actually communicated to each other directly. Mostly because we sort of knew how both of us were feeling; we both felt like it wasn't the right time to reunite fully yet. It was such a painful experience. But I've read somewhere, that twin souls will never ever be apart no matter how far the distance is or if the other one has passed away. I feel like if he had passed away, I know he will always be with me no matter what and my love for him will always be there. I want to be by his side all the time and I suffer so much when he's gone. I've felt like this feeling was destroying me inside these last couple of years and almost to the point where I've been physically ill. I couldn't focus on school or even at work. Later, I found out that doing this would only make both of us weaker together. Because when I feel weak and am feeling lost and hurt, I could feel that he was feeling the same as well because his connection/energy is still within me. I can't ever make it go away. I tried to once, but it just never seems to work. Soon enough, after going inside of myself, I realized that I needed to start healing and face my self. I've begun to spend the time to think about life. I realized that I'm making my own self unhappy and am unwilling to face my shortcomings. In order to be happy, I need to start looking inside of myself and not from the things outside of me. Things are now starting to get better now, and when I'm happy in myself that pain of the loss I've felt isn't that bad anymore and I still could feel his connection. I feel like the more I am happy within myself, the closer I am getting to him each day. It was such an amazing feeling to have again. It feels so amazing because now that I am happy inside of myself, I can spread the love to those around me. It was such an incredible to feeling to be able to give out this loving energy and happiness to everyone. As interesting as it sounds, when I'm happy within myself, I feel like he is literally right here next to me. However if I am lost, it feel like it is the other way around. Anyways, I just wanted to share this with you. Meeting my twin soul has taught me so much about life. Everyday, I wake up feeling awakened, alive, and refreshed. It is such an incredible feeling. Again, everyone's twin soul experience is probably different and unique. I guess that's what is so great about this interesting occurrence. People will always have their own little different and unique stories that they will always remember and reflect on.

What really helped me a lot was by reading this article. It just really had helped me to understand so much about why I was feeling the way I was. I think everyone who has experience a twin soul connection should read this. Reading this does really help to deal with the loss of a twin soul. I hope that I have been a huge help for everyone. http://www.harusami.com/soul2soul/twins/tie_link.html

"I'll post this very impressive AI of Babylon, which surpasses the previous one....Again it shows the great city; 𒆍𒀭𒊏𒆠(KÁ-DIG̃IR-RA-KI), meaning "gate of the gods..."...And mentions salient factors, such as the Ishtar gate being made of clay bricks,…"

"I grew up as a Catholic. I didn't go to Catholic school so the church dogma didn't completely cage my soul. But, as a community it was a comforting place to go -safe and innocent."

Replies

Apocalypstick January 27, 2010 at 9:15am

This is very interesting and sounds VERY similar to the relationship I had with one of my soul mates.

To clarify, I believe we have many soul mates. I interpret a soul mate to simply be one of members of your soul cluster that reincarnate with each other. Either as family members, friends, lovers, pets, influential people etc. NOT necessarily all lovers, and NOT necessarily life long relationships.

Our relationship had some very intense love moments and some horrible low, low abusive moments. We did a lot of learning and growing together which was the sole purpose of our time together.
diane-m January 26, 2010 at 12:59pm

yeah, cant wait for him to show up, although im doing fine on my own too. curious, very curious.
Mischa January 23, 2010 at 5:22pm

Fascinating stories. Much appreciated for shedding some light on the stigma surrounding the twin-flame issue. It would appear that it is not the fairytale romance that so many had hoped it would be, unless you have a fairytale romance with yourself; which is of course the whole idea I guess.
kalliyan January 23, 2010 at 4:56am

I met my twin soul a couple years ago. However, mine is actually quite different and I just wanted to share this. After reading your discussion, I believe that you are definitely right, your experience might not reflect everyone else's and it does seem like other's twin soul experiences can be different and unique. My twin soul and I looked like complete opposites. I am dark haired and of shorter and smaller stature. He is blond-haired and tall, about 10 inches taller than me. He is much more quiet and reserved. I am a lot more enthusiastic and open. He is distant, cool, and cautious, and I'm approachable and spontaneous. But the differences, in a way, complete us. There's such an understanding and the incredible bonding between us about this that I just can't describe. We both admire the qualities in one another and flourish on each other's energy. When we are together, it feels as though we are here to unite and serve a mission or purpose together. We seem so different from each other, but yet somehow so similar. We always imitated each other’s actions. I remember resting my face on the palm of my hand on top of the desk, I looked around and noticed he had done the same as well. I almost tripped; he almost tripped. We always wore the same colored clothing and outfit selections. I remember hoping that if I put on my black jacket with a blue shirt with jeans one day, he wouldn't be wearing it because that would be a little awkward. I remember seeing him wear the same outfit selection some days. I bet the style of clothes in our closets look alike. I couldn't even wear my glasses because it looked so similar to his. I bet we would've found out more similar things if we actually had spoken to each other. My heart was beating so fast and I remember almost being able to listen to his heartbeat. I remember hearing him breathe so close to me. When I looked into his eyes, I felt like time and space didn't even matter. I felt a burst of energy lifting him and me higher. It's like we were the only ones in that room. Just feeling each other's presence was such an amazing feeling. We didn't even physically touch each other and I already felt so happy and close just being besides him. Our communication was almost as if it was telepathic. I remember on the last day we separated, I remember telling him in my mind, that I would always be with him no matter what and I'm going to miss him so much. I felt so much frustration and unconditional love energy around me at the moment. I felt him trembling; he felt the connection too. I didn't even look at him directly when I said this in my mind, and he turned to look at my direction. I felt he wanted to ease all of that frustration I was having. I felt better. Again, we eventually had to separate and we never actually communicated to each other directly. Mostly because we sort of knew how both of us were feeling; we both felt like it wasn't the right time to reunite fully yet. It was such a painful experience. But I've read somewhere, that twin souls will never ever be apart no matter how far the distance is or if the other one has passed away. I feel like if he had passed away, I know he will always be with me no matter what and my love for him will always be there. I want to be by his side all the time and I suffer so much when he's gone. I've felt like this feeling was destroying me inside these last couple of years and almost to the point where I've been physically ill. I couldn't focus on school or even at work. Later, I found out that doing this would only make both of us weaker together. Because when I feel weak and am feeling lost and hurt, I could feel that he was feeling the same as well because his connection/energy is still within me. I can't ever make it go away. I tried to once, but it just never seems to work. Soon enough, after going inside of myself, I realized that I needed to start healing and face my self. I've begun to spend the time to think about life. I realized that I'm making my own self unhappy and am unwilling to face my shortcomings. In order to be happy, I need to start looking inside of myself and not from the things outside of me. Things are now starting to get better now, and when I'm happy in myself that pain of the loss I've felt isn't that bad anymore and I still could feel his connection. I feel like the more I am happy within myself, the closer I am getting to him each day. It was such an amazing feeling to have again. It feels so amazing because now that I am happy inside of myself, I can spread the love to those around me. It was such an incredible to feeling to be able to give out this loving energy and happiness to everyone. As interesting as it sounds, when I'm happy within myself, I feel like he is literally right here next to me. However if I am lost, it feel like it is the other way around. Anyways, I just wanted to share this with you. Meeting my twin soul has taught me so much about life. Everyday, I wake up feeling awakened, alive, and refreshed. It is such an incredible feeling. Again, everyone's twin soul experience is probably different and unique. I guess that's what is so great about this interesting occurrence. People will always have their own little different and unique stories that they will always remember and reflect on.

What really helped me a lot was by reading this article. It just really had helped me to understand so much about why I was feeling the way I was. I think everyone who has experience a twin soul connection should read this. Reading this does really help to deal with the loss of a twin soul. I hope that I have been a huge help for everyone. http://www.harusami.com/soul2soul/twins/tie_link.html

http://www.harusami.com/soul2soul/twins/tie_link.html
- Merryn > kalliyan January 23, 2010 at 9:48am
  
  Thanks for this link : )
  
  I can relate to this stuff, especially re male halves vs female halves and how they respond differently to meeting each other etc
Lion of Sirius A November 15, 2009 at 6:20pm

thanks for your sharing.
anyone knows a page where i can just enter my date of birth and find the date of my perfect match? i have yet to research astrology. thanks
- Goddess > Lion of Sirius A November 17, 2009 at 11:58pm
  
  http://www.astro-services.com/astro/
  
  enter ur birthdate and the second person's birthdate, my birthday is January 17 1986, what's urs?
This reply was deleted.
- Goddess November 17, 2009 at 11:59pm
  
  That is interesting to me Lightspeed!!! How long did that book say they need to be physically apart? Curiosity :)