Hey there. I've had a lot of issues my whole life. I want to give sort of a background to help with my concerns.
When I was young and in elementary school I remember having horrible hallucinations. Blood and faces in the walls. I would see bugs writhing in my bed and I would scream and my mom would have to pretend to wipe them off before I could go back to sleep. They were real to me. I had an 'imaginary friend' for pretty much my whole life who I affectionately call 'Simon', I assume I stole it from the childhood game Simon Says. Who knows. He was a good companion when I was little, I got bullied pretty bad (they would spit on me, throw rocks at me. I wanted to play the cello in band and ended up quitting because I basically had to RUN home every day after school) and I didn't have any friends. I guess I just had to make one up in my head so I didn't go completely crazy with loneliness. I would climb trees and read books aloud to them. Later in life Simon got really bad and I started doing a lot of drugs and started hurting myself. I was diagnosed at 14 with depression, then bipolar with psychotic features and recently they changed it to schizo-effective disorder. I take a cocktail of different pills every day to make me 'better'. The more I read on this site, and others, the more I believe I don't have to take drugs to be better. I truly believe I can be okay without the medicine, that I am strong enough as a person. That the drugs can only make my problems worse. I can't explain all the things I've been through, most could probably be blamed on teenage hormones.
I want to stop taking my medicines. I will need a doctor to ween me off of the very high doses I'm on, so it will take a few months to completely stop, and get everything out of my system, but I want to know what I can do to replace them. Meditation, acupuncture, things like that. I wanted to get input about how to heal myself without pumping all these unnecessary toxins into my body. I want to cleanse my body and my spirit.
Hoping to hear some feedback, I know I need to replace the effects the drugs have on me with the spiritual, but I need help with what to do. Thanks in advance, any advice will help.