What is it, that stops a person from admitting that maybe they might have been wrong?
Or from apologising?
Is it pride?
Pride is an inwardly directed emotion that carries two common meanings. With a negative connotation, pride refers to an inflated sense of one's personal status or accomplishments, often used synonymously with hubris. With a positive connotation, pride refers to a satisfied sense of attachment toward one's own or another's choices and actions, or toward a whole group of people, and is a product of praise, independent self-reflection, or a fulfilled feeling of belonging. Philosophers and social psychologists have noted that pride is a complex secondary emotion which requires the development of a sense of self and the mastery of relevant conceptual distinctions (e.g., that pride is distinct from happiness and joy) through language-based interaction with others.[1] Some social psychologists identify it as linked to a signal of high social status.[2] In contrast pride could also be defined as a disagreement with the truth. One definition of pride in the first sense comes from St. Augustine: "the love of one's own excellence".[3] In this sense, the opposite of pride is either humility or guilt; the latter in particular being a sense of one's own failure in contrast to Augustine's notion of excellence.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pride
Or is it Ego?
The ego acts according to the reality principle; i.e. it seeks to please the id’s drive in realistic ways that will benefit in the long term rather than bringing grief.[13] At the same time, Freud concedes that as the ego "attempts to mediate between id and reality, it is often obliged to cloak the Ucs. [Unconscious] commands of the id with its own Pcs. [Preconscious] rationalizations, to conceal the id's conflicts with reality, to profess ... to be taking notice of reality even when the id has remained rigid and unyielding."[14]
The ego comprises the organized part of the personality structure that includes defensive, perceptual, intellectual-cognitive, and executive functions. Conscious awareness resides in the ego, although not all of the operations of the ego are conscious. Originally, Freud used the word ego to mean a sense of self, but later revised it to mean a set of psychic functions such as judgment, tolerance, reality testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory.[1] The ego separates out what is real. It helps us to organize our thoughts and make sense of them and the world around us.[1]"The ego is that part of the id which has been modified by the direct influence of the external world.... The ego represents what may be called reason and common sense, in contrast to the id, which contains the passions ... in its relation to the id it is like a man on horseback, who has to hold in check the superior strength of the horse; with this difference, that the rider tries to do so with his own strength, while the ego uses borrowed forces."[15] Still worse, "it serves three severe masters ... the external world, the super-ego and the id."[14] Its task is to find a balance between primitive drives and reality while satisfying the id and super-ego. Its main concern is with the individual's safety and allows some of the id's desires to be expressed, but only when consequences of these actions are marginal. "Thus the ego, driven by the id, confined by the super-ego, repulsed by reality, struggles ... [in] bringing about harmony among the forces and influences working in and upon it," and readily "breaks out in anxiety — realistic anxiety regarding the external world, moral anxiety regarding the super-ego, and neurotic anxiety regarding the strength of the passions in the id."[16] It has to do its best to suit all three, thus is constantly feeling hemmed by the danger of causing discontent on two other sides. It is said, however, that the ego seems to be more loyal to the id, preferring to gloss over the finer details of reality to minimize conflicts while pretending to have a regard for reality. But the super-ego is constantly watching every one of the ego's moves and punishes it with feelings of guilt, anxiety, and inferiority.
http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego
Or is it stubbornness?
Stubborn, a description of someone who has difficulty changing opinions. The word can also be used to describe objects that are difficult to move or change.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stubborn
Whatever the reasons, sometimes, we have to admit we were wrong, humility is a great thing, sometimes, we have to apologise, and say sorry to those we hurt when we were mired in our stubborn unchanging beliefs.
Words used to describe someone who is stubborn and narrow-minded
stubborn
a stubborn person is not willing to change their ideas or to consider anyone else’s reasons or arguments
narrow
limited in the way that you look at things and not willing to consider other ideas
not willing to accept much change, especially in the traditional values of society
intolerant
not willing to accept behaviour, beliefs, or opinions that are different from your own
narrow-minded
adjective
disliking or not interested in ideas or cultures different from your own
opinionated
someone who is opinionated has very strong opinions that they refuse to change even when they are clearly unreasonable
inflexible
not willing to change your ideas, beliefs, or decisions
closed
not willing to consider the ideas, opinions, or beliefs of other people or groups
rigid
not willing to change your ideas, attitudes, opinions etc
bloody-minded
deliberately refusing to accept that you are not completely right about something, in a way that is not helpful to other people and annoys them
These traits can apply to a lot of us here, myself included, so why can't we simply admit we were wrong and apologise when it is needed?
It sure would make things better around here, and we might learn something in the process :)
Replies
I think it's all of them lol Pride based on identification is an illusion. Real pride comes unconditionally, just for being who you are. You don't need a reason for it. If you feel proud of being some great lightworker, or knowing more than others, or holding some status, or being anything you feel is above others, well that's ego pride. That's false pride...and it always leads to a fall.
It's good to feel pride for your accomplishments....to a degree. I tend to be more neutral about it, I mean I can sit here and say, well I've won gold medals, basketball championships, best persuasive speech, I've bedded and romanced all kinds of different women, I drive a car better than most people, I sing and dance better than most people, etc etc etc but I don't need to do that lol To me, I'm neutral about it...yes it's true, but I don't really identify with it. It just is how it is, that's not who I am though. I'm self assured because...I just know who I am...I'm connected to my being, my presence...and I be myself as best I can....that's all the pride you need really.
I think people don't say sorry for pride and stubbornness, sure. They don't live in integrity. They can't look at themselves objectively and see when they err, and have the courage to face it and try to atone for it. So...eh that's their path I guess...one of these days they'll learn. I can apologize and atone for my mistakes, if I know I made them. I've done that many times on here actually lol And usually....when I do...the person I'm apologizing to, doesn't accept it. So....what are you gonna do....some people are just too proud and stubborn lol
:-) i understand, just useing a visual aid, or example that i can relate too. analagy is all. just my opinion nothing more. i guess my feelings are showing a bit. its just hard when not to many are all on the same page or spiritual quest we should be concerned with, understanding it helps to cope with it all,-- for me anyway.
When someone ask or expects someone to Apologize to them because their pride was hurt and their ego needs some petting - oh hey! did I just mention those three magic words?
sometimes, we have to apologise, and say sorry to those we hurt when we were mired in our stubborn unchanging beliefs
I'm bewildered, why would you apologize for believing what you believe in? Or for having an opinion on the other? Please enlighten me. And why would you say sorry on things you really mean?
most of all, why do you care so much at what others think of and say to you?
Is it their views makes you? that molds you? then that's a big problem you need to fix.
For instants -- say Your Catholic and a commander of a flock of people, -- and it comes out that everything you’ve believed for the last 20 years was a make believe Screen play by some little Girl sitting under the night shy with pen and pad, dreaming of what could be, can be, so started the Catholic faith. You got suck in 5 years ago not knowing this, and just found out yesterday all this love and light, putting your heart and soul into it. Is all nothing more than a pipe dream. What do you do.?
We of I should say I’m talking about, and since I don’t know his real name as he wont state for the record who in the hell he is. I’m really not attacking any one, no one knows who this guy is.
So I’m not breaking any rule’s by pointing at a fictitious actor named Drekx Omega. Legally he doesn’t exist, this somebody has found out that the organization he singed up to be a ground crew Commander was and is all fake, just a screen play. And he still thinks its real. But everyone else is dropping away like fly’s, as this word reaches the understanding of real people in a real world.
No I don’t expect and apology, or I’m sorry for all the crap I put you threw. None of that is forth coming, not from this fictitious character of nothing to hold him up anymore. He’s not even real, name, avatar, nothing and now what he holds up for people to listen too is nothing.
This is pretty much what happens when giving up religion, and turning to a replacement religion, both need devotion from the lesser followers to pump up the leader’s or deities’ both are in space and invisible -- stringing the crowd along a physical solutions only mentioning the spiritual if or only in passing to keep attention glued to the devotion shelled out on a weekly injection.
Hi Kelly, I think it's guilt. Guilt can't stand being criticised, and being wrong. It's Hell. ...and I reckon a lot of guilt is hidden in pretend anger.
I think you are right on here Kelly, thanks for sharing! :)
i totally agree with you about us not growing Kelly, its stubbornness !!!! and common sense, but people just dont get it ,,,,,,,,, its very very simple really but ..........
to say "sorry" is such a simple thing but yet people just cannot bring them selves to say this word.
I get fustrated with this topic as I come across it very often.
sorry
tiny word but so meaningful,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Unfortunately there is yet one more reason for not turning away from one’s beliefs.
Bully’s using any given topic, or life style to per mote there agenda in side a Trojan horse in this case the PAO/GFL/GF/paper back Commanders.
Here is an exhaustive look into this -------- to big to post here:
>----- http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/bully.htm -----------
This site and others have suffered for fare to long, for what ever the reasoning behind these relentless attackers.
...but.... i dont think that anyone here believes that he/she got it wrong in any way... they all think they are on the right track... even if one is going to the east, and the other to the west...
so, better dont expect any apologies, any time sooner.