So yesterday I posted for the first time, and I recieved many wonderful comments, which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy :) So I humbly thank everyone who read and commented on that post. I do apologize for the obvious ramblingness (made up word) I just finally felt it was time to say something on this here ashtar command.
Today I guess I'm a little more focused on what I would like to say, and that topic I feel should be about something that is bothering me. I know from time to time we all have ups and downs. There are days, (this moment included) where I feel higher than cloud nine, so lets call it cloud ten. Days like today it feels like everything is in perfect harmony. Which we all know is true all of the time, we only experience it when are in balance ourselves. And then there are days, that no matter what, just dont seem to flow properly. Be it a knot in our necks from sleeping wrong, to missing the alarm and waking up later than expected. But what bothers me is not the flow of the day, or how much sunshine is blowing out my rear lol. what bothers me is that in some moments of the lesser awesomeness I feel at times as if I'm not good enough.
I know deep inside that it isn't true, and trust me when I say God has made it abundantly clear that in some way I still harbour these feelings about myself. And thus occasionally do project it upon my enviorment. And I know that I have been actively pursuing changing my vibration and raising myself above that which has kept me locked in a denser way of thinking. But in truth and I know there are other people out there that have felt the same way, how could anything I choose to do hold me back from ascension if the intention is there.
I know from time to time we all get tough on ourselves, I know that I have judged myself and others when I knew we could do better. But in truth we can't always do better, sometimes exactly what we are being is exactly what we need to be. Sometimes being the light within the lower vibrations is what is helping those vibrations expand. Truth be told I have had a long standing relationship with mary jane. It started as most peoples experiences go, with some friends wanting to smoke in high school. But it quickly became more than that.
Now I've listened to many channels, read many a transcription, most of them saying to stear clear of drugs and alcohol. For they cloud the mind, and pollute the spirit. I've had enlightened friends tell me to quit, and enlightened girlfriends break up with me with not wanting it to "bring them down". But in truth if it wasn't for the roll it has played in my life, I wouldn't be who I am. And something I've realized lately is this .........
Are the "things" we label as lower vibrations, only holding us back, only harming us, because they carry with them such a heavy vibration of being bad. Now I completely agree, smoking, getting high, and drinking every single day ..... probably not the best thing for us. And as I get older naturally the desire for these experiences lessen, and the desire for new experiences grows. But the point of talking about this, isn't to discuss the right and wrongs of ascension. It's to look honestly at what were judging, if were all so heaven bent on obtaining ascension, if were all so heaven bent on getting out of third dimension and into the fifth. Would it be safe to assume that even Gaia in her ascended state while still natural grow these things upon her.
we can't honestly say that the things with which we label bad or wrong will simply disapper with ascension. But then again I could be wrong :) I see ascensions as a total acceptance of all that we are. I see ascension not as a removal of the bad, but an acceptance of it, and the concious choice to choose something else. I know of all people that I have been judging plenty of things in my quest towards ascension. But recently God herself put me in a situation and relationship where I had all that judgement of myself thrown right back at me. I found myself talking with a girl, whom I loved very much, who thru everything I had every thought about myself or about the world right at me. And in the moment of hurt, of suprise, of "what the funk is going on here" I realized it was the judgement that was holding me back and not the experiences themselves. For the first time I could see how it was holding on to "right or wrong" that was keeping me from bliss. And that following morning upon waking up I've never been happier. So I guess as times ends and were all awakened into the divine eternal moment of now, within our own beautiful divinity, were all going to have to love all aspects of self. No stone left unturned no rose left unsmelt (another made up word )
peace and light friends.