This post is about my own experiences and concerns for my soul's evolution at this time. I hope that some of you may be able to have your own questions answered here.
Most of us are aware of the changes that are currently going on about this planet, solar system, and galaxy. These changes and processes that are taking place are very important to me. My mind is buzzing about these events, stories, theories, and experiences trying to find some truth in the turbulence. As I live and grow I am beginning to notice a pattern throughout my experiences that is defining my purpose here more and more specifically each day. My main concern here is I keep having this feeling of being lost or disconnected...
Recently I have withdrawn myself from many of the crowds I have been involved with and really began to be with the 'right' people. This means I have a few friends, from many different circles of life. I keep mainly to myself, and my family here on earth, knowing that this is where I need to be. Within the circle of my relationships stories are being told of extraordinary dreams, out of body experiences, experiences with higher beings, and being able to channel certain energies. It seems to me that these changes of ascension are becoming more and more prominent with the people around me than with myself.
Naturally this raises questions. Am I supposed to feel disconnected from the many realities of the universe? Am I making the wrong actions here in this lifetime? My main concern is that I do not notice myself becoming more developed spiritually like the world around me. I long to meet my spirit guides, and my ancestors. I long to feel that ecstasy of divine cosmic love. I yearn so much to walk the astral plane and experience those higher density vibrations. Yet here I am. I can't remember the last dream I had. I have not been in contact with any of the multitude of ET's that are surrounding our planet. I feel trapped here in this life, in this dimension, watching the world around me evolve.
I know this message sounds bitter, and even selfish. But this is true to me. I live it everyday. I believe in the truth and power of our universe to the ultimate degree, but I feel that I 'my wings' have been cut. There was a time when I was a child, when I was flying through cities of golden light in my dreams. When i was a child I was also able to contact my twin flame (who is not incarnated in this time/space). I have since become so stagnant in this life that I feel I need a guide, a teacher if you will. I have no such being I can discuss these matters with, for my friends and family come to me for such advise. which brings me to my next point.
Ever since I was a child, people have been coming to me with questions, concerns, stories, anything that they wanted to share, it has been with me. I have been a great secret keeper, and a confidant for friends and family. I have been blessed with the gift of teaching and instructing. I have been able to explain matters that I have not yet been taught (in this lifetime). My concern here is that since I have had this feeling of disconnectedness, and isolation from the universe (to say it simply), Am I still "qualified" in teaching and instruction of the universe as I believe it to be? I feel less and less confident that I am who I need to be as an agent of ascension in this life. I know my gifts are my responsibility, and that I need to keep loving all the time, but I feel that the stunting of my own spiritual growth and experiences is making me less capable of a loving dharma.
Ultimately I feel as if there is something blocking my experiences with the higher diamensions and the rest of the universe. If anyone has any ideas that can aid me in my evolution, and experiences please share. Or if you have concerns of your own. Please put it all on the table and I' d like to see a positive discussion.