Concerned About my Soul

Hi guys,

This post is about my own experiences and concerns for my soul's evolution at this time. I hope that some of you may be able to have your own questions answered here.

Most of us are aware of the changes that are currently going on about this planet, solar system, and galaxy. These changes and processes that are taking place are very important to me. My mind is buzzing about these events, stories, theories, and experiences trying to find some truth in the turbulence. As I live and grow I am beginning to notice a pattern throughout my experiences that is defining my purpose here more and more specifically each day. My main concern here is I keep having this feeling of being lost or disconnected...

Recently I have withdrawn myself from many of the crowds I have been involved with and really began to be with the 'right' people. This means I have a few friends, from many different circles of life. I keep mainly to myself, and my family here on earth, knowing that this is where I need to be. Within the circle of my relationships stories are being told of extraordinary dreams, out of body experiences, experiences with higher beings, and being able to channel certain energies. It seems to me that these changes of ascension are becoming more and more prominent with the people around me than with myself.

Naturally this raises questions. Am I supposed to feel disconnected from the many realities of the universe? Am I making the wrong actions here in this lifetime? My main concern is that I do not notice myself becoming more developed spiritually like the world around me. I long to meet my spirit guides, and my ancestors. I long to feel that ecstasy of divine cosmic love. I yearn so much to walk the astral plane and experience those higher density vibrations. Yet here I am. I can't remember the last dream I had. I have not been in contact with any of the multitude of ET's that are surrounding our planet. I feel trapped here in this life, in this dimension, watching the world around me evolve.

I know this message sounds bitter, and even selfish. But this is true to me. I live it everyday. I believe in the truth and power of our universe to the ultimate degree, but I feel that I 'my wings' have been cut. There was a time when I was a child, when I was flying through cities of golden light in my dreams. When i was a child I was also able to contact my twin flame (who is not incarnated in this time/space). I have since become so stagnant in this life that I feel I need a guide, a teacher if you will. I have no such being I can discuss these matters with, for my friends and family come to me for such advise. which brings me to my next point.

Ever since I was a child, people have been coming to me with questions, concerns, stories, anything that they wanted to share, it has been with me. I have been a great secret keeper, and a confidant for friends and family. I have been blessed with the gift of teaching and instructing. I have been able to explain matters that I have not yet been taught (in this lifetime). My concern here is that since I have had this feeling of disconnectedness, and isolation from the universe (to say it simply), Am I still "qualified" in teaching and instruction of the universe as I believe it to be? I feel less and less confident that I am who I need to be as an agent of ascension in this life. I know my gifts are my responsibility, and that I need to keep loving all the time, but I feel that the stunting of my own spiritual growth and experiences is making me less capable of a loving dharma. 

Ultimately I feel as if there is something blocking  my experiences with the higher diamensions and the rest of the universe. If anyone has any ideas that can aid me in my evolution, and experiences please share. Or if you have concerns of your own. Please put it all on the table and I' d like to see a positive discussion.

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  • Hi Wandering Pariah,

    Welcome to my world!  I have very similar experiences to yours and I feel a little bit isolated and alone sometimes too.  I liken my experience to ' Floating around in a great big empty space trying to grab hold of something to stop myself from moving' its really disconcerting.  I always ask for guidance from a higher source and sometimes I  recieve or am guided to lots of information about things I have asked for guidance in.  I do love the path that I am on because self discovery has always been an interest of mine and I am always looking for the Truth in all things.  I have also experienced times of what I think of as 'stagnation' in my spiritual growth and so I just sit back and ask the question 'Whats next?' I don't know if this little bit of information about my journey will help you in any way but I am glad to share it and let you know that you are not alone.


    • Awesome Lorrah. I see it as the rhythm of life. Ebb. Flow. All of it really wonderful.

  • try clearing your aura with chants and burn sage in your space. could be mental blocks from some one trying to hold you back

  • dear brother...i can suggest meditation...the "no thought" state...meditation keeps us connected...master meditation to stay connected..much joy and love to you

  • 1). Your growth process is complete. Growth was never necessary to begin  with.  That we were completely evolved when we came here at birth.   Nothing is needed, nothing wanted, nothing is missing.

    Be who you are the moment you arrived, complete and whole.     We’ve been taught how not to be this since birth.   Nothing is  needed to ascend we are the embodyment of completion already.     ego wanting to take its toys with us is the core problem.

  • I believe that there is nothing for us to do spiritualy,  we were perfect coming into this world, they have taught us how not to be since birth.    more here


  • We are all different indeed Lori :) I would wish to try out Yoga sometimes, it is said to be a good exercise to sync your mind/body/spirit together. Walking in the nature is the absolute best meditation for me and when I do that I feel a close feeling of oneness with everything even though I appear to walk alone. Sitting meditation have never worked for me, hurts my legs and back if I do not sit in a chair ^^.

    Love you

  • You and I are very alike. I too longed for experiences after what I read. I think this has been the problem, that I expect too much from like meditation, I don't let it happen naturally and I "push it". Lately I have just been a lot to myself, improving whatever I can in my life and don't strive too much about getting experiences. I know it will happen when I'm ready for it and by no coincidence. I have FAITH that every move I make is for the highest good of myself and others around me and that I am where I need to be. I am perfect the way I am right now. That will help you get rid of those "What am I doing wrong?" questions in your head, I know so much because I was very much like this just this year.

    The thing I find soothing for my soul is being out in nature just walking around and take deep breaths, relaxing meditation music whenever I sit at the computer, or lying down meditating with either guided meditations, sound healing, chakra balancing music and all kinds of relaxing music. 

    Also every night before I go to sleep I "program" myself to remember my dreams and become aware of them. By holding this intent I have made progress and that is one step on my path to evolving :) Lately my nights have seemed long just because I remember so much of my dreams, and it's awesome.

    I wish you good luck my friend and I hope I have been to any help. I would love to talk more with you if you feel like it, just send me a P.M.

    Lots of love~

  • Love it

  • Wandering Pariah you are like my long lost brother bro.
    You are walking one of the harder paths, the same path I am walking.

    Here's my view. It is the path to self mastery on a scale that will grant you great wisdom and power to transfer this to others, in a leadership sense. This takes self-discipline and inner strength. That is the sole reason why you have not been 'visited'. Visitations occur to those souls who need a slight nudge in life. Otherwise this society would swallow up their life and their purpose here would be forgotten.
    It's more involved than this of course, but that's the short of it. There is certainly nothing wrong with wanting to fast-track one's evolution, in fact that is why higher density beings incarnate back down into this density. But sometimes there will be a firewall, because you are supposed to take the long way round, as your higher self prefers this to occur rather than any other method, for the purpose of gaining inner strength in the face of much adversity. The higher self being already complete will then "one day" use this in unity with other higher selves for that level of consciousness to advance further in service to all Creation. So it needs its own past selves, ie the incarnations in these lower levels to reach that point.
    If you observe your entire life you will see that while your ego may want the same things others are experiencing, it is your soul's path not to have these things occur, because you already know that they exist within yourself. This is the highest path so to speak, where it all has to come from within you, not a single thing is to occur externally that will prove the magic to you. If it does it it may be extremely rare. (also see further elaboration on this whole reason below). It is THE assignment of assignments both for yourself and all who you come in contact with. To be an authority unto yourself, not one who (only) quotes others and their realities.
    Tell me one thing, have you had impact on all who you have met, even for a very short time?

    >I have been blessed with the gift of teaching and instructing. I have been able to explain matters that I have not yet >been taught (in this lifetime). 
    That right there just about describes me as well. All I have to do is observe something to know its nature. Though this can be further refined of course. Minerva answered this well in her post. This is pretty much the proof that you need that tells you that the solutions to all your challenges are within you. You already know them, all you have to do is put them into use for yourself, not just others. You may be inspired by the external, but not influenced.

    >My concern here is that since I have had this feeling of disconnectedness, and isolation from the universe (to say it >simply), Am I still "qualified" in teaching and instruction of the universe as I believe it to be?
    This is precisely the point of being disconnected, to find your own inner power - which has been there all along. Even subconsciously it can be overwhelming to be so disconnected from our real self, we feel that there is more of us, yet it's nowhere in sight, I know the feeling. Don't worry this feeling is only temporary. In fact it is our ego self creating the separation which the universe is mirroring back to us. Your soul knows everything is one, the ego however operates from something called the win/lose state of polarity (binary in computing). You see, Creation is only an approximation of the perfection of Prime Creator, becoming ever more perfect as one ascends through the various realities, but never quite all the way there. And so our ego mind is itself an approximation and holding both states to be true, is something our cultural software has not provided us with. Thus it is either winning or losing. Put your situation into this perspective and you will know it is an illusion itself. This entire episode is nothing less but the universe telling you it is time to stop seeing things as disconnected, time to put aside that which serves you no longer, the cultural programs and ego mind as the point of reference for your identity. Time to go back into the infiniteness of your true self through your heart. Which is why you hear people say that we have to go out of our mind back down into our hearts, that's precisely what that means. That's precisely the only way upward from this density of consciousness.

    You see that's what Prime Creator does itself, it loves to play this game of alternation between states. And so that's what all souls who reach the same understanding, love to do as well.
    I too have felt disconnectedness alot in my life and it could mean that our true home is pretty far away from this reality. Speaking for myself I am use to a far more refined existence and to come here is rather hard, but of course much is gained. That's one explanation, there are more down to Earth ones having to do with your upbringing, family history and your psychology. Some have merit, others are too primitive in their interpretation of the big picture. It might help if you checked out some of them. We have to work on our selves from all angles.

    When one studies to be a true mentor/a leader, one has to find their own inner power and be in complete alignment with Source, through their own efforts. This is what self-mastery means. The higher the level you are at, the more challenging the life here. The higher the level you are at, the more selflessly you give. You do not look for external reward and proof, you give and move on without attachment. It's one heck of challenge for many, that's for sure ;)

    And so when you are able to act this way, this is what really tells all Creation that you see abundance in yourself and this is reflected back onto you. When you seek to take, when you seek the external to provide you with something - that only works in 3d. Elsewhere you have to create it from within. Sometimes we doubt that we have this creational ability. Well when realized it actually IS US, it means you have realized yourself as Prime Creator. Before that you are still thinking of yourself as a victim.

    Ultimately I feel as if there is something blocking my experiences with the higher dimensions and the rest of the universe. 
    Your higher self, for the purpose of (creation within)/(solving)/(transmuting) this reality with your own power! If your entire essence was brought to bear, there'd be nothing for you to do here - it'd all be solved in an instant, but not everyone has reached this level of advancement, thus you too have to lower/limit yourself in order to solve the problems in a way that less advanced souls can use as a template for their own evolution. This is a well know mechanism across this universe.

    Many people seek too much external help from others and sometimes the teacher has to cut off the relationship because the student has become too focused on the teacher's point of view, instead of their own. Too focused on external authority instead of their own. If you've noticed that is one of the prime challenges of this planet.

    And as John opened above, be in this world, but not of it.

    In a way, the reason why this place is the place to be is because it's so well isolated from the infinite amount of things going on elsewhere. If our current society is exponentially transforming every day with all that is going on in every field of endeavour, imagine a universe full of it. This, ironically, is the perfect place for peace from it all, to find oneself again by being so cut of from oneself through the challenges provided. It's perfect!

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