Becoming your own source of happiness

We often spend much of our time looking for happiness from outwardsources. We tell ourselves we'll be happy when we get that car, thatcareer, that home, that lifestyle, that relationship or many otherthings. By the time we achieve one of those things, we have often addedmore requirements to our list of happiness factors and only findtemporary joy in that which we just achieved. So long as we continue tothink that happiness is something outside of ourselves and outside ofnow, we will likely continue in disappointment and frustration.

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again
and expecting different results."
~ Albert Einstein

Outward things can accentuate our happiness, but should not be reliedon as a primary source. Lasting happiness comes from within, from ourattitudes towards ourself and self love and acceptance.

"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with."
~ Wayne W. Dyer

We are generally our own worst critic. Our fears sometimes areself fulfilling, created by our own downward spirals. What we see inothers is often a mirror of what we do or don't like about ourselves.Forgiveness of self and others is key to moving past what we see as ourdeficiencies.

"Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness."
~ James Thurber

Looking at ourselves from a 3rd party perspective can help us be morecompassionate and loving towards ourself. The only real mistakes arewhere we fail to learn the lesson it presents. If you try something newand didn't like the outcome, realize it, and change the approach.

Self affirmations, visualizations and practice can be very empowering.Love and completely accept yourself the way that you are. Creating ascript of self affirmations (written or memorized) to repeat daily willincrease love of self, confidence and happiness. Your own opinion ofyourself matters more than anyone else's.

"Everything that happens to you is self-created.
Whenever you're responding to any situation, whether it's a sip of coffee,
or a traffic jam, or a love note, or criticism from a boss, or rainy weather,
you're in fact responding to a signal that you generated within yourself."
~ Deepak Chopra

Take responsibility for your happiness. Don't wait for others tocontribute or get you there. There is no right or wrong way to be yourhappiness. There is just your way.

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
~ Anais Nin

When you see yourself heading toward a familiar downward spiral, lookfor the trigger, recognize it for what it is, be grateful for thelesson learned, and move on. Stop beating yourself up and saying no toyourself. Instead become your own greatest fan and cheerleader.Celebrate your successes with yourself. Be your own party. Enjoyyourself in all of your colors. Be grateful for each experience, goodor bad, for what they teach and for how they let you know that you'realive, which is a miracle in itself.

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  • Aaaah, yes, Shelly. No one else can "make" us happy, and I've discovered (and also heard) that the best relationships of any kind.....whether marriage, friendship or any best between 2 whole people. I've made it practice for a long time now to enter any kind of relationship with the thought in mind of what I can give to the relationship....not take from it.
  • That is so true. You must be your own cheerleader, you must validate yourself, and be responsible to yourself first. No one else can do it for us.

    Accomplishment and acquisitions may give us moment of excitement, satisfaction, or justification. But happiness resides within. It can only be experienced when we are consciously connected with our true inner essence. That is the domain of true happiness, true passion and true love. When we can experience that connection consequently, those states of Being, then other emotions are just waves or ripples on the surface. They are just passing experiences because we are anchored in our Being, a deep ocean of peace, joy and enthusiasm for life.

    I have had brief visits to that place. My goal is to learn to live there.

    • And, I second that Lauren. "I have had brief visits to that place. My goal is to learn to live there." I'm getting close. :)))))

      I especially agree with what you said about "Accomplishment and acquisitions may give us moment of excitement, satisfaction, or justification." Yes, indeed, any temporary satisfaction from externals is just that.....temporary. I long for the eternal joy that I somehow KNOW is resident inside us all, or rather, should I say who we all are?
      • I like that Little Feather, "Who we all are." I think our purpose as a species is to learn to Be and express that. And what a wonderful world it would be.
  • Wow, this is great! The thing that rang so true with me is the part about always waiting for something to happen to be happy. quote "So long as we continue to
    think that happiness is something outside of ourselves and outside of
    now, we will likely continue in disappointment and frustration."

    This is the truest lesson I think I have learned to date in my entire life. I ALWAYS used to operate on that principle.....when this or this or this happens, THEN I will be happy. I spent so much time just waiting for another time, another life situation such as I will be happy when I stop getting abducted, I will be happy only when I find my perfect soulmate, when my kids no longer have troubles, when I no longer feel crappy all the time (you get the drift....). So much time I wasted in my life wallowing in the "if only" then I will be happy. One day someone said something to me that changed it all. Can't even remember the exact thing that was said, but all of a sudden I realized it is ok to be content and happy with the now, that I did not HAVE to wait for different experiences, possessions, life situations to be happy, and that I alone held the key to being in and feeling happiness......Since then my life has been transformed. Happiness is a state of mind you allow yourself because you love yourself and wish it for yourself and because it feels good; and it is something that you can share with others because you love them....that is my little quote to add to this topic.
    • Thanks for your comment Marique! I'm glad you have found your happiness in the now, which is the only moment that we have current control over. Namaste!
      • This is just my own personal opinion; however, I prefer the term joy to happiness, for I believe happiness to be a "fleeting" thing, while Joy, just as Love, Peace, Truth, etc. is Who I Truly Am. I have found, as well, that the more Joy I give, the more I have to give.

        And, I've always loved that quote by Anais Nin. Aaaaaaah, so True.
  • Thanks cool quotes...loved it.
  • aaaaah! i like quotes. I've been a quote fanat for ten years now. Leaving you with something I read recently...


    You seek ascendence
    Where there is only transcendence.

    Yet there is hope.

    You may be so busy
    Looking at the heavens
    You'll stumble over the edge.
    -- Ram Tzu, from NO WAY - for the Spiritually Advanced



    with intent,
    much love, light and laughter,
    • thankyou for this post, it was very helpful.
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