It starts out when I awaken beside my car, for some reason I have chosento sleep on the street beside the car instead of in it. I get up, putmy trousers on (I can't sleep in jeans) and am happy to find my walletis still in my pocket considering my jeans were sitting folded besidewhere I slept and people are walking past me.
I walk following a crowd of people, we are all going to the same place,and I overhear a conversation coming from 2 young (teenage) girls behindme, making fun of the way I look and am dressed, and the carry bag Ihave with me.
These girls are commenting on the lack of label brand clothing andlaughing about it. I always dress sharp when I leave my house, I neverwear labels, or expensive clothing, but I always turn heads and look amillion dollars, so these comments stun me.
This is the part which concerns me;I turn and tell the girls that I had recently died, and came back,then, that I nearly died again a few months later, and that I will soonbe dead permanently, and despite what they think, regardless of what wespend our money on, we can't take it with us.
I then get to a turnstile/outlet, like gates at a railway station.People are paying for the cups and cup contents they are carrying at abooth as they exit. I go to pay and am charged what I consider to beexcessive; explaining it's my own cup with the sun, moon and stars onit, and that I filled it with orange juice before leaving, which isweird because I can't drink orange juice.
While I'm standing at the booth, someone rushes past and the young mantaking the toll gets annoyed and starts yelling, but I tell him tosettle down and not let such an insignificant thing destroy his day.
My concern is I had an experience Ibelieve was either a near death experience, or a death experience, backin May this year, three months later I was admitted to intensive carewith my lungs bleeding, and now I have another serious health concern atthe moment, so was this a forewarning that my time will soon expire?
Was it something to do with me drinking from the cup of life, and gaining wisdom?
I am someone who can be annoyed with relative ease (I have anger issuesat times), and I generally don't take crap from too many people withoutthe chance of me physically lashing out, so for me to explain to thegatekeeper not to let insignificant things upset him is strange, perhapsa message to myself??
Any thoughts?
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Replies
You are a strong person to come through that!
I like the name you use "label whores"
It's funny, at my local club one night I had a young lady come over and explain I was too good for her and her group of friends because of how I was dressed. I had to laugh, I was wearing an $8.00 K-Mart shirt, $15.00 big W jeans, and $14.00 no name leather shoes, which were highly polished as my shoes always are. I did have a nice dress watch on which was a gift, but other than that, all extremely cheap no name clothing, the only difference is I won't go out if my clothes aren't ironed and my shoes aren't polished.
Like I said, I tend to turn a lot of heads, always have, and many of my friends are extremely envious of the fact many a pretty lady see me and smile at me.
I love you so very much. You are a good man.
Thank you everyone who has replied to help me make sense in a senseless world!
I'm not really one to live in the outer world, I tend to keep mostly to myself, really don't follow any crowds or trends (my long hair, long beard), and I rarely seek help from anyone. Actually, I spend a considerable amount of my time running around doing free work for friends who need emergency house/car/computer/everything repairs and aren't in a position to pay anyone.
Yesterday was spent helping a friend remove a shower receptacle from his garage, fixing some plumbing which I have to complete today, then taking the self contained shower unit to another friend who needs it, and at a later date I will go and install it for her.
Sometime within the next few days I have to arrange for new brake disks, pads and shoes for a neighbours vehicle, then fit those. It rarely stops, I have qualifications and experience in numerous fields, and I always attract a following of needy people with no capabilities to do the job, and no money to pay me, or anyone else for the work. It can become draining at times, from mechanical, to electrical and electronics, to IT, to plumbing, or building renovations, I always seem to be the sucker who gets volunteered to do the free work.
I'm sure all the local toilets have a sign, "for good free work, ring sucker 555****" (That's not my number, all movies have a 555 prefix) as opposed to "for a good time, ring 555****"
There's a difference between a good time and a cheap time, and I guess I'm cheap!
With the beings trying to take me away, that actually happened, it wasn't some strange dream, it was too realistic, even to the point where they told me things about my life I never knew, and told me my son would be fine, which I refused to believe. When I refused to go with them due to my sons needs, I was returned with the message I have a short time to get my affairs in order, then I nearly died exactly 3 months later.
I honestly don't sit around thinking about it, but I'll never forget it. I choose to live while I can, and not sit around concerning myself with my imminent death.
I never consciously think about death. At my local hospital, they told me I wouldn't live to see sunset, and I said "BS, I'll be walking out of here before the day is out", which I did. They were adamant I had a pulmonary embolism.
With the exception of migraine headaches, I'm not accustomed to getting sick. I rarely get any other problems with the exception of occasional reoccurring heart problems because I refuse to quit smoking. It's not that I haven't tried, it's just with the constant pain of headaches, I reach for a smoke, it seems to make the pain a little more bearable.
You once asked me if smoking was the cause of my migraines, no, I quit for 6 years once with absolutely no change. Can't remember how I got started again, but I do regret starting it.
How did the dream make you feel?
I am a single father of a teenage son who is severely hearing impaired, has mild epilepsy, and has no friends. He doesn't go anywhere without me (except when I occasionally convince him to go to his mothers for a weekend, which is rare), and when we go out, he is so clingy he nearly trips me with every step.
I refuse to abandon my son, that's why I was returned the first time.
I do not fear death, but as a disability pensioner who suffers from migraine headaches every day, and have done so for over 40 years, I fear suffering.
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