1. We are insecure, not happy within ourselves. A lot of gossips and slanderers are depressed people with little or no self esteem. The fact that bitching lowers it further is irrelevant. Subconsciously we know what we are doing and we don't like ourselves for it.
2. We are angry at ourselves and at the world. Everything irritates us. The fact that anger is also irritating is irrelevant. Anger doesn't care about how it affects others. Anger is cruel, and it wants others to get upset. Anger needs an outlet, so if there isn't one, we will have to make one up. The fact that we hate anger in others and that giving into our anger spreads more anger anger anger anger anger into the world, provoking more anger in others, is irrelevant.
3. We are guilty, and we need to relieve our guilt by bringing others down to our miserable level, telling them what to do. Guilty people are the finger pointers of the world. The fact that guilt makes us miserable, that we hate guilt trips being put on us, and that we are spreading more guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt into the world, ensuring that guilt gets fed and stays alive and kicking forever, is irrelevant.
4. We are jealous. We worry that others are more popular than us, we feel inferior, and we get annoyed that when around them they make us feel inferior. The fact that they are more popular than us because we are a jealous bitch, is irrelevant. The fact that we cannot stand jealousy in others, and that we are spreading more jealousy jealousy jealousy jealousy jealousy into the world, is irrelevant.
5. Sheer habit - bitching is an addiction that is hard to quit. Maybe our parents or our community did it and we just went along with it, not knowing another way.
Bitch = Witch
Bitching is black magic. Some of it will hit the target, more so if the target is vulnerable and unprotected.
However the rest will bounce back and slap us in the face. This often translates in our physical world as ending up having a reputation for being a small-minded bitch. Although we may be good at bitching, even entertaining as we do it, people learn that we spread bad gossip and we are not a good person. When we are seen to constantly bitch about other people to our friends, they eventually start to realise that we probably bitch about them behind their backs too, and we lose friends. Sure, if confronted with it we could charm them back, deny it and say we didn't say that, but the truth gets out.
When we are bitching we are a black witch doing black magic.
I used to have instant karma. If I ever slipped up and went down that path of conversation, I could guarantee that the person in question would be standing behind me, or something along those lines. Wow. I have met others who have said the same. So I had to make a decision to not go there, ever. It worked. Now I bite my tongue, and move on with my thoughts. This has helped me. Anger wants to spread itself around, and after working to release my anger I refuse to allow others to anger me again. It doesn't always work, but it's a good plan, and I'm sticking to it. Anger is a liar, anyway.
When we feel like bitching about someone we can ask ourselves, how would we word it if they were standing right behind us?
Question everything our negative emotions say - they are lying to us
If we question everything our negative emotions say, we are less likely to fall into this bitchy trap. All negative emotions are based on fear, and fear is a liar, an illusion, so when we are feeling negative, judgemental and critical, we are being lied to.
When we are feeling angry, guilty or jealous, our fearful inner child is taking over. It is crying for our help. It is wise to help it, not to let it take over and run our lives. That's like giving the car keys to a traumatised child. Our inner child is not knowledgeable enough to guide us in adult life.
To function as an adult with any credibility we need more wisdom, confidence, compassion, open-mindedness and intelligence than what we get from our childish negative emotions. We need more Soul.
When feeling negative about others, if we cannot ignore it, it is a perfect time to do some inner work on ourselves and face our childish demons. Normally it comes down to forgiveness of ourselves and forgiveness of others, and we are instantly brighter.
Having negative patterns of thinking rear their heads in our head on a daily basis is about releasing the past, and we can let more and more go, as each issue arises. By doing so we are helping that inner child to grow up, to be happy, and to find its confidence. We are being a good parent to ourselves.
Every day that we question a negative thought and feeling, that we challenge a nasty pattern of thinking, face it and get to know it, then forgive it and release it, we evolve into something brighter, freeing our Soul.
When we allow ourselves to be guided by our Soul, our sense of humour returns, we become more creative, having all sorts of ideas flow through us, and our world becomes a better place. Every day is a good day to explore what our Soul has to offer. :)