I was on my way back home from work, enjoying the rhythmic lullaby of the northbound D train as it embarks on it's 30 minute journey from Manhattan to the Bronx, when I came upon my usual point of wanting to nap for the remainder of the trip home.  Napping in this environment is where I usually get my best sleep.  White noise and vehicular movement puts me out like a light.

This time, however, I decide that, instead of napping, I will take a rest in my Garden instead.

This will be the first time that I have attempted to do this from the physical, as I was not even aware of it's existence until recently.  Naturally, I am curious as to what the experience will be like, but I remind myself to be calm and not impatient, like I can very often be when I am excited about something, so that I can really experience my garden and it's relaxing properties.

I close my eyes, blocking the light from the physical realm and dropping myself into the hallways of my veil, where I plan to descend 13 steps to the Astral door to my Spiritual Garden.

I used to have trouble keeping any of this intact in my mind, but it is easier now.  I am able to start walking towards the first step, and start to descend in a slow, steady pace.

1…2…..3……4

As I descend, I glide the fingers of my left hand over the smooth yet somehow chalky (like an extremely fine powder that leaves no residue) texture of the silverish/gray wall beside me.  I love how this wall feels - it calms me, enabling it's existence in my solidify and giving it more substance. 

So this is why it is important to interact with objects in the astral plane!  It gives them density, hence purpose and meaning.

Cool.  Love it.

5…..6….7……..8..

As I reach the 8th step, I drop my left hand and turn my focus on the door that is approaching.  My astral plane door to my spiritual garden.  I take a quick second to look at the symbol of mercury and the name thoth, and notice some other name taking shape.

It starts with a J….and I can't tell if the second letter is an "a" or an "o", but with either combination I get the feeling of James or Joseph, so perhaps it is actually two names that I am seeing as one.

I decide not to linger here, however, as I am on a subway back home and don't have much time at this point to check out my garden.

I push open the door to my garden with my left hand, and it swings open left, revealing the large fountain in the center of my unenclosed grassed garden.  Whenever I walk into my garden, if I am calm of course, I like to lie down and feel the blades of grass against my cheek.  This always grounds me even more, and I sometimes like to roll around on the grass like a 5 year old kid, but today I don't have the time for my silliness, but only because I am focused on actually getting something productive done this time.

I remember Anush, my twin flame, had told me that I might want to check out a couple of items that were in my Garden, as if I held them together they might show me a message that I had put there.

A silver rose and a golden feather.

I had given the silver rose to Anush, as it held the power of my love and I needed her to have it.  The silver rose is a give given to your twin flame.  It is what allows balance to be created through love.

I love the color silver, which lies within the spectrum between the darkest black and the lightest white.  When contained within this rose, it enables love to embrace the most destructive of tendencies with it's light opposite, allowing it to swirl back to silver as they combine back and forth within the matrix of the rose, towards it's center.

Anush had told me she kept the rose on a carved stone pillar next to the fountain in her garden, which is the central fountain in my garden.  I walk to it, and see the rose in front of me.  Picking it up, I am not shocked or pulsed by any foreign feelings - I know this feeling all too well.  It is love!  I have felt this all my life, but never from the one it mattered the most - my twin flame - which is why I gave the rose to her.  I will wait for time to end for her love, and will never stop giving it to her.

Ok, I have the rose.  I wonder where the feather is.

Let's see…..it's an important symbol to me, so where would I keep it….it wouldn't be somewhere inconspicu….

There it is….floating above the central spout of the central fountain.

I wonder to myself, "how am I going to get that down from there?", then realize I can just will the feather to my hand.  I call the feather to my right hand.

I am supposed to do, or see something when I combine these two items.  I am very curious.

I hold them closer together, comparing them to see if something happens, and right when I hold the feather dead center in front of the silver rose, the feather disappears, and the rose is no longer silver, but shimmering gold!

So this is what I am supposed to see.  The symbol of the golden rose.

Otherwise known as the golden egg of thoth.

By combining the all embracing power of love with the delicate balance of the feather of maat (spelling?), one can find the true power of our potential.  The symbol of the golden rose!

After this realization, the feather came back into existence, and I flew it back up to the top of the first fountain spout, where it floated without getting wet (somehow...I may need to concentrate more, or less  I guess,  on the layout and feel of the garden, but again, like me, I am in a hurry to find more truths and meaning.)

Ok - that was fun.  I'm still in my garden.  I'm still on the train.  This is easier than I thought it would be.  Yay!  I like being a natural learner, it makes things so much less frustrating.  Although one could argue that I am not easily frustrated, and hence am probably more prone to learn quickly. 

Doesn't really matter.  It's fun, that's what matters.

Since I am here to relax, I figure I'd find out where it is in my garden that I like to take my naps.  I walk by a stone bench, where I like to sit with Anush.  Holding her is one of, if not, my all time favorite thing in this universe, and I know she doesn't like me saying it, especially so publicly in a forum such as this, but that's something my love is willing to bear the force of - and we all know how forceful she can be =).

Ok - enough antagonizing Anush - I'm gonna get it as it is for that one.

I am alone in my Garden tonight, so I walk by the bench, and realize that there are trees outlying the perimeter of my garden.  And that a really nice hammock is tied between two of them.

Perfect =)  I love star-gazing in a hammock.  I really love my garden!

I climb into the hammock an start to gaze into the sky.  I see too much treeline and not enough stars, so I push the trees away so I can only see sky.

I decide I'm going to take a nap in my garden, while I ride the rest of the train home.

A nap within astral projection.  Why not?

I gaze up into the sky and just calm my mind, letting the sky fill me up.

And I get pulled upwards, out of the sky, and out into a realm filled with golden matrixes, or eggs of some sort.

These matrixes contain either universes or galaxies, and they contain the balance of love and the feather!

I ask my surroundings where I am, and why I am there.

Apparently, I'm more of an empath, and I can just understand without actually needing to hear words.

So I start to understand that I am a watcher, or guardian, of at least this particular matrix.  I don't know if I'm the only one, and It doesn't really matter.  That stuff never really matters.  It only takes one to make a difference!

I don't even bother to ask what my name is, as I've never been concerned about that either.

I like Zanndo though.

It makes me think of this: "Z through A", and "0", as in all knowledge encompassed within the all, like a circumpunct or something.

I think I committed to breaking up my soul into fragments or something like that to help heal the imbalance that was being manifest in this particular egg/matrix, and have been fighting for balance within it ever since.

Ok.  So I understand the connection between the golden feather and the silver rose because that is the necessary conditions for balanced life within any one of these golden ratio matrixes.

The golden state of the feather is a fragile one.  The state of the golden rose is even more fragile.  If the silver rose is not perfectly balanced, it can not hold the vibrations of the golden feather.

Love is the key to helping any two twin-flames resolve their karmic duties and achieve this golden vibration, which will enable them to travel to much higher realms of consciousness.

I thank the ether for showing me what it has shown me, and return straight back to the train, where I realize I am one stop away from my stop.

Perfect =)

I like this astral projection stuff!