This site is a wonderful resource for data on the kundalini awakening, this is only a small excerpt, I HIGHLY recommend further study on the link below, this is not the full article, due to the size of the document.
It is intriguing to think that the three S's Shadow, Subterfuge and Sacrifice, the three most difficult and confusing things in life, are related. In delving into the perplexing subject of shadow and neurosis, we find that they are coincident with stress and depression as well. Since kundalini seems to expand the range of levels in the mind and greatly amplify ones energy field, while the normal body-armor/defenses that we unconsciously embody are somehow blown away during kundalini, this leaves us vulnerable and attractive to needy, subversive and aggressive members of a population. Whatever "work" we have left to do regarding our childhood will arise and show up areas in which we are inadequately developed. Archetypes that might be attracted to us during kundalini include: The Wicked Witch, The Lost Child, The Wolf: Feral Men, The Mad Woman, The Woman in Distress, The Philistine, Religious Dogmatists, The Spiritually Correct and The Mythic Angel.
The law of attraction doesn't mean solely that "like attracts like." It also means that opposites attract...the lost child is attracted to the wicked witch or sage woman; the wolf is attracted to the lambs vulnerability; the mad woman and the mythic angel are attracted to the rational dogmatist. This is so because they sense there is something to be worked out to bring them to greater wholeness by incorporating the consciousness of the opposite. Both sympathetic resonance and dissonance are attractive and ecstatic opening can be very unsettling to those that are repressing and holding back part of their consciousness from full integration.
If we come from the vantage point that God is All--both dark and light we have to accept that what we interpret as darkness is just as wholesome and useful as the that we consider to be raspberries and cream...because both can be used in the service of greater consciousness, love and achievement. Both show us what needs to be done and which way to go. If we can accept the wholeness of Life, we do not have to expend huge amounts of energy repressing and avoiding one half of all phenomena. With a modicum of nonduality we can stop reacting to, running from and doing wasteful battle with the darker side of the light.
A favorite science writer of mine, Robert Sapolsky, humorously equates the prefrontal cortex as the neuroanatomical equivalent of the "Superego." The Superego is the regulating supervisor in us that makes us do the right thing, even if it's harder. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that most defines us as "human" and it is one of the last parts of the brain to fully myelinate; around age 30. Robert suspects that there is a direct correlation between the number of fully myelinated prefrontal neurons and impulse control, empathy, gratification postponement, Kohlberg's stages of moral development, integration of shadow (i.e.: nonprojection), and "knowing oneself." That is spiritual maturity, emotional intelligence and integration of the triune brain arises with prolific neuron development in the prefrontal lobes and their interconnectedness to other brain areas. The prefrontal cortex is thus the pilot or chief organizer of the phylogenetic and ontogenetic evolution within us. The key to mental and spiritual health is to have the prefrontals operating as a compassionate, beneficent guardian, instead of a belligerent, narcissistic or nihilistic parent. Does our inner King divide and conquer, or does he unite in benevolent grace? It is our relationship to the dominion of the prefrontal patriarch, which determines our spiritual development.
Prolonged stress is associated with depression through the distruption of serotonin, norephinphrine and dopamine signaling and the sensitivity of glucocorticoid feedback regulation. Negative emotions are associated with monoamine oxydase (MAO), cortisol and adenosine GMP. Depressives often have elevated stress hormone levels in their blood and since endorphins are released along with ACTH, they likely have "elevated" endorphin levels as well. Robert Sapolsky, in his book The Trouble with Testosterone says that..."People with anxiety disorders can be thought as of persistently mobilizing coping responses that are disproportionately large." 139. Repressives have chronically elevated levels of stress hormones that are as elevated as highly anxious individuals. It is fascinating that repressors have enhanced activity in the prefrontal cortex involved in inhibiting impulsive emotion and cognition; therefore they have stronger or more rigid Superegos.
"Apparently, it takes a whole lot of energy to think and plan and avoid and deny all the time like a repressor." 144
"A lesson of repressive personality types and their invisible burdens is that, sometimes, it can be enormously stressful to construct a world without stressors." 145
This may be a direct confirmation of the spiritual potential of meditation. Meditation lowers stress hormones, and it also serves to "deprepress" the psyche. It probably does this by lowering the stress hormones which in turn would reduce the hyperactivity of the prefrontal lobes...with the re-pressure released the psyche would open itself like a flower and denial would be penetrated. Also with prefrontal energy freed up from its repressive function this would allow more liable, integrated and creative consciousness to flow.
The four main negative coping mechanisms or resistance strategies to our perceived reality are to deny, dissipate energy, block energy or distract attention. However these problem-solving methods just create more problems and turn into the "habits that become our lives." That which comes between us and Big Fun is FEAR--or the repressive, stressful dictatorship of a delinquent or tyrannical parent residing in our prefrontal lobes. Through the strenuous suppression of part of the full-content of our consciousness the unconscious shadow is incubated and proliferated.
Shadow is the partial, cut off, unincorporated and unconscious part of our psyche...that which we are ignorant of, or choose to be ignorant of. So this capacity of the prefrontal lobes to repress and deny our emotion and cognition probably plays a big part in shadow, and that meditation might be a direct way that we can act to depress our own shadow and recover healthy stress response chemistry--and integrate (enlighten) our consciousness.
"An increase in meditative ability results in a simultaneous advance in all other abilities--it closes the gap between your present level of performance and the hoped for level. It bridges the chasm between the mind and the consciousness which uses it." Christopher Hills, Into Meditation Now: A Course on Direct Enlightenment, 1979
We have established that Real Spirituality is non-repressive. That is a huge start. I notice that when that which is dark/uncomfortable/terrible is embraced "spiritually" with the heart, mind and soul in sublimation to the Reality of the situation, then even that which is difficult such as illness, death etc...can be life giving and illuminating.
How our brain deals with the energies/entities/impulses is determined by a zillion things including our time and place in history. If we grew up in a house of depressives/repressives and we have a slightly more liable integrated consciousness than they, chances are we will be demonized, ie: made into the black sheep and scape goat...because our Presence and consciousness will organicly plunge those around us into a "wider and deeper" worldview, and their repressive-ego will be threatened by the greater depth of feeling and thought. Once the rigid prison of their minds is breeched they will start to see other "perspectives" and this will challenge their narcissistic viewpoint. However, we must see that if we grew up in a house of depressives/repressives, chances are that we too have that primary patterning in our brain and must do what we can to break out of it. Not just for our own sake, but for the progressive development of man as a whole.
"Instead, you have to interpret the meaning of the wall. Translate it into clear words." I think this is the key, understanding allows change. Even if it is just an impermanent, ongoing flow of meaning-making and verbalizing, it could be that this processing by the linguistic left brain is tied more closely into the prefrontal lobes than the right brain is. Bringing subterranean material and issues to the surface of consciousness and verbalizing them, would then allow the prefrontal lobes (Superego) to "get a handle" on the emotional content and act to stabilize or grok the activity going on in the limbic brain and brain stem. Thus the triune brain becomes "integrated" and "knows itself." Once a brain is in sync and knows itself then growth, progress and maturity are possible; as well as increasing integration and self-knowledge.
Adverse, Proverse and Body Amour
Synonyms for saboteur: adversary, antagonist, assailant, assassin, attacker, backbiter, bad guy, bandit, betrayer, competitor, criminal, defamer, defiler, detractor, disputant, falsifier, foe, guerrilla, informer, inquisitor, invader, murderer, opponent, opposition, rival, seditionist, slanderer, spy, terrorist, traitor, villain.
And subterfuge: artifice, cageyness, canniness, contrivance, craftiness, cunning, disingenuity, duplicity, foxiness, guile, shrewdness, slyness, trickery, wiliness.
A certain percentage of minds wherever they are on the spiral are subversive antagonists. It's in the wiring, perhaps from birth, to not exhibit native traits of being an ally, benefactor, friend and supporter to people in general. I would say probably about 5% of any population are subversives, though that would depend hugely on the culture of the country and times. I notice too that these are the neurotics, and their brains have messed their bodies up so they suffer arthritis and structural problems and body-armor to the degree that they are mentally ill in this way.
The fact is being a saboteur is bad for the health. The type of neurosis that leads to inflammation, degenerative disease conditions and rigid body armor are saboteurs that are "Thanatos based"...this is the key to understanding the biochemistry. Note the term ad-versery--and associate it with the term Uni-verse. Universe means the "one song" and saboteurs are against the one song of the Universe--that is they have departed from the Grain of the Kosmos--have separated themselves. Having left the grace of Eros they become a dried up living bag of deformed bones.
Cortisol the stress hormone is produced along with norephinephrine when the adrenals kick in. Saboteurs inflict psychological poison onto others in order to get the adrenal rush...but along with this they get a good dose of cortisol. The presence of corticosteriods in the blood increases the damage done by any degenerative disease condition be it arthritis, cancer, stroke, heart attack, diabetes. At the very foundations of these conditions are two causes...stress and cellular inflammation.
Saboteurs are in a terrible bind literally and figuratively because they cannot get away from themselves and they cannot be healed, because they will attempt to sabotage their healer. So they in essence poison themselves in the process of trying to heal. And very few healers would stick around for the depth and duration it would take to make a difference. There probably is a very effective way to try to help these people...the core of their problem is that they demonize the unknown and fight against it. Anything that does not fit into their tight little conventional worldview is a target for their attack. In a biopsychological sense they define themselves through opposition and they are addicted to having their adrenals firing in order to feel worthy and alive.
In bioanalysis of their character structure the development of the saboteur was probably compromised very early on in fetal development. Hence they have an adversarial adaptation mechanism and probably have little genuine biological or psychological faith...thus their bodies pay the price in chronic muscular contraction, arthritis and bone deformities. They are also usually ectomorphic (skinny) because cortisol works against cellular uptake of fat and glucose and promotes the catabolism of tissue used as an energy source.
In order to help the saboteur personality to free themselves, the field of Positive Psychology might be the answer, because if you address the shadow of the adversarial character upfront, then more defensive aggression will be generated. Pierrakos says that the mask of fear is largely unconscious. That is, if oppositionists were truly conscious of what they were doing and why, and aware of the harm they are causing to themselves and others, then they wouldn't be that way. Thus positive psychology provides a means by which the attacker types can learn new ways of being and widen their worldview without simply building higher walls.
The saboteur character is drowning in self-pity, frustration, anger and blame...while the proactive agentic character is originating from confidence, optimism, self-responsibility and positive action. If the new learned positive personality becomes strong enough it will heal the inner-adversary in its own time by learning positive adaptation skills and new ways of being. We've just got to accentuate the positive!
You can set prior intention and energy state before engaging in a social situation and this will change the chemistry of the interaction. The saboteur % are stimulated by increased coherence, magnitude and self-assurance, which activates them to try and tear it down. The secret to dealing with the saboteur is knowing how to fall with the punches and to get right back up. To be nonattached to external opinion. Thus the wolf sector of the population offer the gift of keeping us awake. This waking process involves gaining a sense of mastery, however not the mastery of the counterpunch. The key to Emotional Aikido is to absorb the punch, breathe into the epicenter, circulate the energy around the body and give deep thanks for the extra stimulation and lessons learnt. This can be done with any emotional response, fear, anger, shame, guilt, hate, jealousy, intimidation, exclusion etc... This we could call training in direct emotional nonduality.
Compulsive competition implies a lack of self esteem and an adversarial perspective...it arises when the self has not be adequately reassured and affirmed or has been openly abused. It can also occur from brain damage due to threatening childhood origins, say constant parental fighting and such. Compulsive competition is a symptom of borderline personality disorder, showing that the self-system has not been adequately defined and nurtured. Mostly I think it happens because siblings are not taught inclusiveness, sovereignty and respect/reverence of the individual. Then people go on using everyone else they encounter in their subconscious sibling rivalry. Compulsive competition arises in an enmeshed and usury family system and combine enough of this family type and the culture at large is malcompetitive. In power-over authoritarian systems spirit is denied and those in authority use malcompetition in their subjects to keep them weak so they can maintain their power.
Malcompetition is aggressive; it means that "I do no want you to succeed or be happy and that I am only here for my own ends." It is the tactic of a weed, predator, pathogen or parasite and you will see any competitor use these various tactics. Compulsive competition arises from the mentality that there is not enough to go around so I have to fight to get your piece of the pie also.
So much for negative competition...now as for healthy competition in the various areas like art, writing, science, sports etc...these are good. Healthy competition provides structure and opportunity for growth and excellence. I think the issue is in defining the difference between healthy and malignant competition...one bids goodwill to all, the other is egocentric, arises from low self-esteem, damage and deficiency and bids badwill and power-over others. "Love knows no comparison." Osho
Self, Selfishness and Selflessness
In attempting to clarify the various stages of self, selfishness and selflessness, I have a natural intuition that this represents a progression from immature to mature forms of being and energy exchange...through which we grow. That is from preconventional, to conventional and then postconventional service. Service here means simply developing, living and expressing the innate gifts of w ho we ARE. Another word for it is magnanimity, or largeness of soul.
The transactional exchange of "generosity" evolves from: Submissive (danger), Servile, Addictive codependency, Conciliatory, Bargaining unconsciously, Trading consciously, Non-competitive truce, Intellectual concourse, Creative synthesis, Merger of souls (mature monogamy).
How do we know if our giving is codependent or of a lower-order of service? If we expect or need the recipient to actually "change" in response to our offering, then we are co-dependent on them. The fundamental principle involved in all relational transaction is that each individual is the sole determiner of their own will. Our giving must therefore be void of "control and manipulation," even toward what we "think" is best for someone else. Respect for the Divine Spark, the individual monad or perfect seed in each person or lifeform is the only way to assist them to find greater wholeness or healing.
One has to be a self before becoming self-less. If our attempts at service are compromising our self-system's base of operations so that the power of our "highest" service is undermined, then we are failing in the primary directive. And we have fallen down the scale of being to lower more unconscious forms of self and service. Higher service flows lightly from the heart on a bubbling river of joy. The main point to guide the whole process of the development of service is that we must keep our sails trimmed toward the primary directive: to promote the greatest depth of love-consciousness for the greatest span.
To heal the world, heal yourself. To evolve the world, evolve yourself. To save the world, save yourself. The Janus symbol of the two faces looking in opposite directions represents the realization that there is only One--that the inner and outer journey are the same and so is the inner and outer man. It also hints at the enlightenment realization that there is only one Spirit animating all things in the Universe. Thus it symbolizes enlightened awareness where both the inner and outer phenomena are witnessed objectively as being the same, no different, no separation, the Nottwo. What dies in spiritual emergence is the mask of pretense and denial that there is any difference.
Through the prescience of Divine Nostalgia each of us are either on a slow or accelerated path to recognition of the One Spirit that animates the holozoic Universe.
Prescience, (apprehension, foresight, intuition, preconception, premonition, prevision) of Divine Nostalgia (of the memory of our Always Already wholeness and unity with the Source). This is the realization of the inflowing breath of consciousness moving into matter--involution...a rememberance of the knowledge of Truth...it is the "part" having an epiphany of the "One." This sense of unity prior to differentiation into the many drives us passionately forth on our spiritual journey via the transcendental homing beam of Self's love. The prescience of Divine Nostalgia is "gnosis" or the inborn knowledge concerning the "secret of becoming." It cannot be formulated with the mind, it must be realized as a spontaneous Eureka experience, by which the heart is called home in the great dance of cosmic unfolding.
We might think that we are living in service, but it might be a lower order of service because our self-system is unsustainable. However true service is when we get our self-system in operational order to facilitating us to live our larger purpose properly instead of self-sacrificially. Self-sacrifice is a lower stage pathology because it collapses the whole chain of the emergence of consciousness. So one has to reorientate towards the Individualistic, Integrated and Transcendent levels of consciousness in order to align to the correct self-system vs. contribution balance...so the incoming and outgoing energy flows are not working "against" each other, but "for" each other. To comply with universal principles self-development and service should be a creative synthesis not a war.
Self-development is a higher responsibility than self-sacrifice. Self-transcendence or true sacrifice is to let go of that which interferes with our "highest" contribution. Whereas it is immature sacrifice or self-sabotage to forfeit that which leads to the realization of our self-development and creative gifts. In true-sacrifice only our limitations and that which is lower and no longer needed is transcended. There are three ways that the egoic separate-self-sense can die to itself: through regression, repression or by transcendence. Self-transcendence is the skillful means by which the Enlightened Self draws us inextricably toward self-realization.
Once Will or self-discipleship is developed we can attain true-sacrifice...through a "blooming out" of satisfaction leading to the satiation of desire. Such satiation is both the cause and effect of self-transcendence. True sacrifice demands clarity, boldness and power and thus must always be an act of the well developed "Will," i.e.: deterministic rather than reactionary.
The difference between prepersonal and transpersonal giving is that, prepersonal service is undertaken in order to find happiness through giving, while transpersonal generosity is enacted because we are already happy. The first is entropic or dissipatory and the second is syntropic and regenerative.