No good deed-------goes unpunished

      I have heard the saying no good deed goes unpunished and sadly I often find that to be true. Not always I have helped a lot of children (my husband and I raised 75 kids that weren't our blood), okay he has not stopped me from collecting and helping young'uns but other then financial and tolerance he says I raised them. Since all the kids were raised we moved back to Arizona 7 years ago. Since coming here the Lord has begun to have help adults, now most of them I stay friends with but there have been a few I have cut out of my life because they don't want my help or have hurt my family, that's where I kinda draw the line.

      The latest set of people for me to help has been a young couple, ages 21 and 22, and their 5 year old son. Although we didn't know it she came to us pregnant. When they called to ask to stay with us we said ok but there are rules to living with us. They agreed to these rules, they are pretty standard (like--quiet time for kids begins at 8 pm, bed at 9 pm, if something doesn't belong to you---don't touch it without asking. Kids eat & drink at the table not the bedrooms nor all over the house). Basic rules that are pretty much help everyone live in harmony together. At first neither adult was working and I was in a wheelchair so part of them paying their way as rent was for them to help me clean house and cook and clean up the kitchen. They did well for 3 months. They were only suppose to stay with us three weeks, then they had no where to go so I got permission from our new land lord (we were moving into town from the country before they ask to stay with us and hadn't anticipated someone else staying at our new apartment too) if they could stay with us for 30 days while they searched for a job in town. My husband was working a crappy job he hated and was able to get a job close to our apartment. Then he helped them get jobs there too. As soon as they started working I became the babysitter for their son, started making all the meals, doing all the house work, dishes yada yada. You get the drift. Anyway to be fair I did baby sit my grand kids. Only 1 grandchild full time the boys mostly only in case of emergency. I don't get my 3 year old grandson anymore because Kya( my guests 5 year old son) is a bully. Any time he is a way my grandchildren mind well and play well together, well till they get tried then my granddaughter punches my grandson (both are 3 yrs old) and my grandson pushes her down, sits on her and hollers "BEHAVE" while he bounces on her. Although laughing isn't appropriate it is very hard not to laugh but they get time out while I make lunch or snack depending the time of day, I feed them then put them down to nap and the get up refreshed and ready to play again. Never have they really been criers. Let Kya be gone somewhere with his mom and come home he gets my grandson crying in 7 minutes and causes my granddaughter to cry in under 5 minutes. His mother's idea of punishment you might ask (sarcasm) is to take him into her room feed him snacks or meals and let him watch movies or play video games. She doesn't just disrespect me by breaking the rules, she does it blatantly she lets me know she is doing it. I don't know what she says in front of her son but he shows absolutely no respect to my husband. Kya sleeps in my grand children's play/bedroom. He has pulled the buttons off the kid's tv so he couldn't watch it unless he said so (he'd hide their remote so it couldn't be used), he's stolen or broken their toys, he hit's them for no reason, then he had the nerve to tell my husband and I quote " Get the hell out of my room" when he went to get the remote for our young'uns. His mother pampered him after his dad spanked him for the disrespect. Talk about mixed signals. That was in may. My hubby almost kicked them out that day but he went to our room to cool off and I was able to talk him out of it. I begged him for 2 more months so she could be close to the hospital till she delivered. Reluctantly he agreed. Now she has given up any semblance of respect she showed my hubby, if he asks her to not do some thing she ignores him and turns her back on him and walks way or she rolls her eyes and walks away. Yet he endures because I asked him to. He has just kept taking it, he keeps quiet cuz I ask it. I even got the money to pay the reservation deposit for the ramada at the park for her baby shower this past Sunday. He was thanked by their son giving my hubby a dirty and asking "What the hell are you doing here?' His dad smacked his butt and his mom let him go play. My hubby did ruin her day he took it and kept smiling. He never said any thing till we got home. This time if he kicks them out I won't interfere. He knows they asked for more time till the end of the month (July) so his decision, they can stay pay July's rent (for them it's 180.00 per month and contribute 200.00 worth of food per month, she get food stamps 1 1/2 times this amount. I figured this was more then fair rent for three people. They receive 1 full bedroom for them, Kya shares the playroom with my gran children when they are here, cable with HBO and STARZ in their room, computer/internet access, unlimited phone and long distance usage , ready made meals (I cook) any time and use of the kitchen or living room any time, as for the 200.00 in food they are big eaters and they eat more then 200.00 in food by the beginning of the third week. Damn now I really feel pissed because of her and her sons treatment of my hubby) Anyway he will tell them they can stay for their usual rent and they follow his rules till they move or they can get out. I don't know how to feel, guess the Lord will work it out. 

 

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  • "Why do you hate me so much? Did I try to help you?" Chinese proverb. I feel that you already know the answers, but its good to vent :) I've seen this again and again from rescuers and I used to be one too. Now I've stopped, maybe even gone too far in the other direction, or maybe its 'each case on its own merits' and ask
    my guidance on what feels right to do. Ive found that people appreciate far more an ear for their problems than a non-sustainable river of generosity. In the end they turn around and bite you... hard... call it the Law of Doormat: if you behave like one expect to be treated like one. Good luck and enjoy the puzzle solving :-) you can do this xxx
  • You know what I do know how I feel, angry , hurt, betrayed and shit upon. and to correct a couple of statements in my blog.

    !. I meant to say----Kya pulled the buttons off the kid's tv and hides the remote so they can't use it until he lets them.

    2. I meant to say-------My hubby didn't ruin here day at the baby shower.

    Sorry I need to go fix me.

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