To Whom It May Concern...

First of all, I'm knew here (relatively) and when I feel passionately or otherwise strongly about/towards something, I tend to ramble and jump around when "talking" to others. So, should I end up doing so, I would like to apologize ahead of time and I hope those who are led to read this will be patient with me.Wow...where to start? Umm, well I've always been somewhat conscious of the 'truths' or rather higher truths, higher levels of consciousness and what involves me. Why I'm here, Who I am, What I am, etc. Like many others, I've had that soft voice whispering in my ear and giving me little nudges here and there. However, I'd have to say that within these last 5 years, definitely these last 2 or 3, I've become far more conscious towards it all. But even if I'm not so, I FEEL lost. There are lost of conclusions I've come to, especially recently but I always reconsider everything because I do not want to become more egotistical or give more importance to myself that what the reality of the situation truly calls for. I don't want to lose sight of reality now that it seems just out of reach, close enough to taste but just beyond my grasp as of yet.I'll be the first to say that I don't hate being wrong, I have no problem with that but I absolutely hate to fail. I have come to find that I don't (yet) have any true regrets and I don't plan or want to end up with a single one 'in the end', either. However, I feel strongly that my 'time' is "running out" and there's nothing that terrifies me more (at least at this moment) than after everything, I fail to accomplish what I've come to do, I don't want to fail my self...my higher self, future self...my TRUE self.I've had dreams and intuitions and messages from those around me in one way or another that has led me to where I am today but I still feel like I'm doing things half-heartedly. No matter what I've accomplished I can't seem to enjoy those accomplishments for the feeling that I haven't done more than a mere fraction of what I'm capable of.I've had dreams lately that seem to be hinting that I'm supposed to be a leader of some sort during this challenging time. Now that I'm on here and talking about it, I can't seem to put into text what I've been feeling aside from the sense of not doing enough, not being where or with whom I'm supposed to be right now. I feel like I'm losing the biggest chance of my life just sitting here gaping like a goldfish at everything i've discovered but have no idea where to start or how.My biggest problem, perhaps, is that I can't FEEL what I "know" and so every step I take is a leap of faith that I'm never sure is going to prove wise or threateningly misplaced.I've been told by many that I'm a good leader, how or why or where they are getting that conclusion from I can't seem to grasp that concept but at some level (although surely reluctantly in some senses) I resonate with that.I've done a load of random research off and on for the last 5 or more years and it has ultimately led me towards certain conclusions and realities of nothing being quite like we've been led to believe. I "know" in the truth of the Law of One, that we all are aspects and manifestations of Source, God, All-That-Is, whatever you want to call it. This resonates with me.I "know" of the reality of the movement from the 3rd, through the 4th and (back) into the 5th dimension. The nesseccary changes that must occur for us to achieve and move through this transition. This resonates with me.I "know" I am not alone. We are led to believe in this fear-based conception of reality but WHO's reality are we talking about? Yours? Mine? our Governments? Society's? We are led to believe in the illusion of separation and that we must stand alone and strike out for ourselves. We are led to believe that all we ever have is ourselves but in "reality" that couldn't be further from the truth. If anything, whenver we incarnate into physical form, we not only prepare an outline or plan for that duration of time in the 3rd dimensional physicality but we bring an entire entourage with us, our own personal army of protection, guidence, etc.!!! Whether it be thruough animal totems, spirit guides, angels, loved ones, etc we are not alone and we are helped regardless of whether we are conscious of it or not (though it is a much easier and smoother process for all if we are and accept it in and of ourselves).I don't know these days. All I know is that I need help to connect with the help I've had all along. To discover WHO and WHAT I TRULY am. I don't know how to explain it right now. I had a clearer idea of how to explain this before I actually got online and started making this discussion but I know that I will eventually find what answers I need at this time. I trust that. I just don't want it to come "too late".So for those who are led to this discussion and I am meant to meet and speak with and recieve advice and guidence from, do contact me, I'm a sponge, I am eager to soak up whatever I can get my hands on as far as knowledge and advice and such is concerned. I just need a little help when the lights are out, as we all do from time to time. ^_~ he heBut I'll stop for now and see who and what comes into my life from this point onward.So, thank you and many blessings to all who have found your way here to me (or is it who I have found my way to?). I am eternally grateful to all of you who read this, whether or not you reply. Bless you all!(P.S. for those who are wondering "Nesera" is just a nickname I gave myself. It's not who I TRULY am nor is it my birth name. Though if anyone can help me find out who I TRULY am, that would be much appreciated.)Love, Light & Happiness for Always & in All Ways!Best of Blessings,Nesera

Hi Nesera, the way i see it is that you have a lot of connection with deeper awareness understanding etc. but at this time you are having a hard time feeling it and knowing what it means and to a level that you are satisfied with.

My best advice for you is very simple (yet easy to forget). Let it be. Surrender to the formlessness of each moment. You are existing. That is enough. What you are on this level according to societal things is irrelevant. Don't try to understand what you know... just let it be. What you know is only a small part of what you are and what you are is happening all the time despite what you know ;).

Who are you? You are not your mind or your thoughts. You are not you societal statuses. You are not something that can be defined. You are simply being. As the universe is. Being able to describe what the universe does or is does not change it or make it any better. It simply is, and you simply are. That is enough. You are consciousness. The being-ness behind your thoughts, your body and the forms that are imposed on you. You are neither a leader or a follower. You are a flow of energy. There is no need to worry about the future or the past. All that is, was or will be, is meant to be. You are everlasting. You are inherent truth, life, love and wisdom and you need do nothing do access or achieve these qualities.

Let your mind have its quandaries. The mental state and emotional feeling of being like "i don't know" is a sacred place to be in yourself, for the universe is truly indescribable. Allow your not knowing to flow over you and simply be. There is nothing more to know or to do. There is no challenge or need for achievement. You and the universe are fulfilled in each moment so don't let the mental hologram hold you back from this truth i am sure you already know.

May the fulfillment of each precious moment grace us all ware ever we are, what ever we are doing.

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Replies

Nesera November 5, 2009 at 5:35am

A big thanks to everyone who's commented about this so far (and to those who may comment in the future).

I appreciate everyone's advice even though I can't claim to resonate with 100% of everything that has been shared by everyone, I can say that there's several things that some of you have mentioned that I've found out myself at one point or another so I can see where everyone's coming from.

Again, thank you everyone for replying & I'm looking forward to reading any future responses by others, as well !!!

Namaste!
Being November 4, 2009 at 8:59pm

Hi Nesera, the way i see it is that you have a lot of connection with deeper awareness understanding etc. but at this time you are having a hard time feeling it and knowing what it means and to a level that you are satisfied with.

My best advice for you is very simple (yet easy to forget). Let it be. Surrender to the formlessness of each moment. You are existing. That is enough. What you are on this level according to societal things is irrelevant. Don't try to understand what you know... just let it be. What you know is only a small part of what you are and what you are is happening all the time despite what you know ;).

Who are you? You are not your mind or your thoughts. You are not you societal statuses. You are not something that can be defined. You are simply being. As the universe is. Being able to describe what the universe does or is does not change it or make it any better. It simply is, and you simply are. That is enough. You are consciousness. The being-ness behind your thoughts, your body and the forms that are imposed on you. You are neither a leader or a follower. You are a flow of energy. There is no need to worry about the future or the past. All that is, was or will be, is meant to be. You are everlasting. You are inherent truth, life, love and wisdom and you need do nothing do access or achieve these qualities.

Let your mind have its quandaries. The mental state and emotional feeling of being like "i don't know" is a sacred place to be in yourself, for the universe is truly indescribable. Allow your not knowing to flow over you and simply be. There is nothing more to know or to do. There is no challenge or need for achievement. You and the universe are fulfilled in each moment so don't let the mental hologram hold you back from this truth i am sure you already know.

May the fulfillment of each precious moment grace us all ware ever we are, what ever we are doing.
- Cedric > ☼Petar▲Truthseeker November 3, 2009 at 1:31am
  
  I agree with you Loreala.
eyesopen November 3, 2009 at 2:19am

Hello nesera!

Lets start here...If you haven't failed, you haven't tried. Failure is all how you look at it. If you learn to pull something good out of it, it's not a failure, it's a lesson. Recognizing this, is just one aspect of truly being a good leader. failing in front of the people your supposed to lead, is the biggest test a leader has to take, and taking the lesson learned from that experience, admitting you made a mistake, and continuing on is the passing grade. The second aspect of being a good leader is understanding that you now have dual roles, one as a teacher, and the other as a student. And sometimes, your teachers, are the ones you are leading.

patience.....patience is the key. If you step back a second, take a breath, you will amaze yourself at the answers that are right in front of you.

The best peice of leadership advice I have heard, and although it may not pertain here, i'm going to share it with you, because i feel it may help later on.
" A good leader never walks by a mistake."----Norman Schwortzkoff.

Good luck in your search, peace always..
Cedric November 3, 2009 at 1:29am

Welcome to the club. The feeling of being a leader is wel known within me to,i have not done anything about it because i do not believe i am ready,and somehow i have a inner feeling i might be to mutch of a pusher in everything i do and want others to do(let's say that my inner knowledge and power scare me) not because i feel it is bad but because i think i wil not be able to control it and it might turn bad.even the horoscopes,and other teachers say i am a leader.and that i can not go against my destiny...it is just me who does not get it yet.

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