Reaching out

Peace & blessings to you all.  I'm new to this board and have been going through a continual panic over the last several months due to a job change that has me somewhat "stuck" in a high-stress occupation for which I have little feeling.  I accepted the promotion in June of last year as I was simply looking to maybe "change the scenery" as I'd been working in my last position for the last five years.  This new job is your basic "corporate, everyone should be doing everything they can to make-it-to-the-top" kind of task and it's just not me.  In the beginning of this year long before this option even presented itself, I started to feel as if I was just going through the motions and finding something different might be a good idea.  Then this came along and I erroneously thought it could be just the change I needed.  However, I see it now for what it is and am constantly having stress about meeting deadlines and attending meetings/seminars and asking questions of others and answering other's as well.  I guess you could call it an extended panic attack and have been very close to quitting twice already.  I'm at my wit's end as I'm off until Wednesday and yet even on my off days I'm still thinking about it.  It seems to have planted itself in the front of my mind and won't budge.  My sleeping is off and I've lost quite a bit of weight as well.  I wrote my manager explaining the situation and was basically told that i'll get better over time and it can be a little overwhelming.  The whole deep down issue is that this whole line of business isn't even me.  I can't stand competition and the whole striving to be the best company man you can be.  I basically just want a job to do and do well and earn my paycheck to have my life.  I don't live to work, I work to live.  At a time when I'd like to be thinking positively about the possibilities for the growth in human consciousness at the end of this year, I'm instead trying to find ways to sleep through the night without waking up multiple times and strengthening myself to handle each day one at a time.  I really can't stand feeling this way and just need some positive advice/reinforcement.  How would you guys go about handling this?  I want to stay in the positive and not make this whole situation the end-all,be-all of my life.  Help?

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  • Thanks for the reply Minerva.  I always enjoy your posts and value your insight.  Yes, I realize I admitted in the original post that this job isn't really "me".  The problem is I've yet to find one that is me.  I'm much more a creative person than some analytical robot to sit behind a desk for 40+ hours a week, but it's not easy to find something right now that relates to that artistic side.  It seems my whole life I've been just going with what society has told me I have to do in this world ( go to school, do well, get a degree, go work for a company ) and I know if I just work really hard to deal with this job that will only lead to more work and responsibility that I don't like and the vicious cycle continues.  I don't envy the call center job you had.  That must have been horrible.  I'm really into photography and would love to get into something involving that but don't even know where to begin.  

    https://plus.google.com/u/0/photos/118386163488059411640/albums/573...

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