Have you ever observed another couple that seem to be fighting half the time, the big scenes, loud arguments the whole neighbourhood can hear, the dramatic exits with the bags half packed and the internet connection packed in there for good measure.

Then the cooling down period for as long as it takes and the phone calls where all of a sudden there is a completely different person on the other end, 'I do not want to fight any more.' The last fight about the fact that the man does not like to dance unless he is stone drunk and will not drink any more. The woman feels the dancing is part of the emotional connection that builds up to the good stuff, it seems there is a pattern here that keeps repeating itself!

It has been great entertainment for me over the years to watch others going through this and for the life of me I could never understand it, now that I have gone through it for myself I am even more confused. What is going on in these situations? 

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Replies

  • Yeah.The sacred space is private.

    Was referring to trancing in clubs where all you want is to be left alone and go on your journey. Where nothing, and no one else matters.

  • Well..people in this world have real serious issues....there's alot of baggage.....it'll take a long time to really heal this world....so don't be surprised these type of situations play out.

    Of course it's not something some love and self empowerment can't fix...but it takes time....in the mean time, best work on your issues and try to live life as best and as big as you can.

  • I hear you brother.

    It is such a personal head space.

    And no one understands it.

  • The fact that you don't respond does mean that she'll hang around. 

    Deep down, it's my guess that she recognizes and respects your strength.

    and will eventually grow out of it.

    You have to decide if its worth the time and effort for you.

    In the meantime, Enjoy..

    It could be a lot worse.

  • People in 'Love' Do Not Make Sense!

    Haha. . :))

      Thats all I have to say right now :)) ;) Love is nuts (tips hat) :))

  • Seems to me like you've touched on her secret. And to avoid her secret she plays this game. 

    You can watch her duality play out here.

    She says she wants more, then act in a way that prevents her from getting more.

    Duality is fun like that.

    enjoy.

  • have you considered that in the process of looking for more, you discover more fun? More convenience?  More trust?

    These are the rewards for the effort in working for more.

    Remember she is still around. And so are you.

    And you have to work this stuff out sooner or later.This is the easiest it will ever be,

  • My pleasure.

    Ultimately though, trust your heart beyond anything I or anyone else says..

    this clearly matters to you, so your intent will see it be done.

  • The best you can do is be aware of it.

    And be flexible in your communication.

    i've resorted to writing down what it is i want to say when arguing leads to an impasse.

    takes the energy our of the conversation and allows the other person to digest your words in their own time.

    be ok to express the you are feeling in the moment. instead of continuing to argue your point. Because it is the feeling that the argument is communicating anyway.

    If you agree with the above post and she is open to such things, discuss it with her. 

    It may not change the arguing. But it will change the dynamic of the argument. It goes form being a conflict to a pathway that eventually leads to a greater love. A means of promoting a greater understanding between you both. 

    However, you are already doing that which matters most. You are aware. and once you have a conscious awareness of an innapropriate behavior, the resolution becomes a matter of when. not if.

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