hi hows it going im not sure where to start but i guess i better say hello first lol
to be honest ive been trying to write this introductory post for the last half hour and still havnt a clue as to what to write lol,but i guess i better write a bit about myself..
.ive forever had the feeling of being out of place not in the sense that i cant get on with people or that i was an outsider but ive always had trouble trying to live in this reality if thats what you want to call it mainly because i can see all the madness in our existence(its maddening because it feels like im the only one who notices this) but not just in our general existence but this civilization we have constructed for ourselves..like the idea of having to spend 30 years paying off a loan for a few bricks and a bit of land..
ive NEVER told anyone this for fear of being labeled nuts or something... but i can see certain things and i havnt got a clue what they are, they are there all the time but they are clearly visible when i look up at the sky or when its dark there like little pieces of electricity but they all dont move around aimlessly some of them at least seem to be moving with a purpose...maybe im just nuts but its mainly because of seeing these things and a couple other events in my life that i know there is more to this pathetic existence then meets the eye...sorry if i sound like a bit of a downer but i guess im just fed up(more then usual) with this facade that we have created and the boring monotony of living out my life doing 9-5 5-6 days a week so i can go out and get drunk on a saturday and then repeat the same routine the following week,getting only 20 days of peace a year..
one of the events i mentioned earlier,was when i was 8 years old i was in a bad car accident where i nearly died from bloodloss the only reason i didnt die by going through the windscreen was because i was wearing my seatbelt, but thats the thing i did not put my seatbelt on and the reason i am so sure is because when i got into the car my mum told me to put on my seatbelt and i pretended to do it so she wouldnt give out....now if i told this to anyone they would argue that it was so long ago that i wouldnt remember whether or not i had put on my seatbelt but i remember that day vividly from the moment my mum came into my room to wake me up for school (late we slept it out) to being in the back of the ambulance and being asked by the driver if i wanted the siren on (i said no lol but he put it on anway lol)
anyway just saying hello and if anyone has got a link or two to stuff that might be of interest,fire away
thanks
eon
Replies
flyhalf yea thats my position as well...what i loved most about playing 10 was the control you had over how your team plays and the tempo your team plays at..also loved the thinking and tactics involved...its mad coz if you havnt played it you dont realise how much time, effort, planning and organisation involved...and your right its all about sacrifice its not as individual a sport as football is..its all about the team and as you said the sacrifice each player makes by putting there bodies on the line for there team mates and the cameradery(if thats how you spell it lol) was always something that i enjoyed ...once a rugger always a rugger i like it....."support your local hooker,play rugby" im going to have to rob that one on you mate lol
but i would have loved to play american football looks like a really enjoyable sport..i like the tactics and pre rehearsed moves and thinking involved in playing a game like rugby there is a lot more to it then meets the eye..,we used to play it the odd time after school but wed only play touch football..id say hitting people in the tackle with the pads on must be great craic lol
Welcome eon. You are in a place of much love and warmth - try to settle in and take in some of the wonderful contributions available here. Your backround is not unique, many will have had similar experiences and will relate to your past. Remember you are not alone.
Apart from getting drunk (which most of us do!) what are your passions, you loves and your most inner desires of heart?
I have had success myself by trying to pursue activities in real life that are in line with my highest personal belief systems.
This means, try to gravitate towards your higher self. Now would be a good time to engage in activities in nature, with animals - it's also not unusual for people to seek quietness of self in beautiful places. Meditation does not have to be sitting crossed legged on a hard floor for hours on end chanting (although this is quite a popular method too).
Just sitting in the park sipping a beer can also open window into self refletion.
Just seeing an amazing work of art or hearing some soothing music can work well.
Your intuition also serves you well. There is indeed much more to this Ilussion than meets the eye.
Wishing you all the best on your journey.
Adonai
thanks guys and girls for the warm welcome...
im a bit taken a back by the reactions from people im not used to such warmth and genuine kindness...thanks to everyone who replied..
and unlabled hahaha i had noticed that trait in noobies first post, i tried to write my introduction without it but it just somehow didnt feel right lol and thanks for the links they were all very interesting...the link with cartoons talking about the chokra was good..i had an obsession with solving einsteinns unification theory for a while and that was based on something very similar... the odd thing about it was about 6 months after i had drawn up this idea i watched a video from a theoretical physicist who also had a very similar theory called string theory...but i lack the intense knowledge of physics and applied maths to formulate my theory in terms of an equation and as a result i just lost interest...
.genteelwolf although im not used to it, getting things off my chest definitly feels good..and hopefully it will stay like that
.ashim i could probably set up another discussion about my passions but ill just post in this discussion because i probably should have included it in my first post lol...
my passion growing up was sports football (soccer for you americanos) and rugby im not one to blow my own trumpet but i was good enough to play professionally in both codes,i was actually promised a contract from my local pro rugby club that never materialised...mainly because of a coach that didnt like me (not entirely as i had a lot of issues myself at the time) he had no reason to dislike me but for some reason he didnt, he didnt like the idea of me being the up and coming young player and being under-pressure to play me from our club president and secretary but being the stubborn man he is he made a point not to play me and after a few months i had a massive shift in mood and quit...i tried to go back and play the following year for another club and was even getting paid but i tore my quad after the first competitive game (i actually got MOM in that game) and was out for 7 weeks within 2 weeks of getting back i tore my ACL joint in my shoulder and was out for 4 months and i never got back playing competitively after that...
i firmly believe in things happening for a reason and that if your patient and when you get tested as i had been in my last 2 seasons of rugby both on and off the pitch(and were honestly the toughest years of my life outside of the game) my patience and faith in myself and my family were rewarded because out of all the madness that went on i decided one day just to book a one way ticket to brasil and i ended up having the happiest year of my life...i lived there for nearly a year...if things didnt happen the way they did i would have never gone to brasil and would still be in the same sort of mindframe
i originally booked myself into do charity work with an orphanage so i could get out and meet people and it was a great experience,i actually met my ex girlfreind (who i loved more then anything in the world) at the centre where i was working or i should say playing coz thats basically what i was doing lol...they were amazed to see some with blonde hair blue eyes and very pale skin lol
anyway her dad was in charge of the same charity group in her home town and she went out to salvador to work with the orphans for that week alone and it was part of her summer holiday..anyway i ended up living with her for the best part of 6 months..i actually went off by myself for 6 weeks though so i could see the rest of brasil i went to rio,ouro preto and fernando de noronha...which is paradise ill put a link up to some pictures of the place its an archipelago off the north east coast...and if you ever go to brasil its a must see even more so then the statue of christ
http://www.google.ie/images?hl=en&rlz=1W1GPCK_enIE396&wrapi...
sorry im starting to ramble off point here
ive had some intense ups and some agonising downs over the past 25 years and i could honestly write for hours about them but thats not why im here,it was only after being put through the ringer that ive come to realise that all one should aspire to is happiness and it was being put through those depressing anxiety riddled 5 years(that culminated with the end of my rugby ambitions) that made me realise that..genuine happiness dosnt come from winning a rugby, football or tiddlywinks game,it comes from love, not just the unconditional love you get from family but that from the people you share your life with..and being nice to people or least trying to improve yourself in such a way will come with its own rewards...
and i appreciate your freindship and the warm welcome you have given me....and hopefully i will get to comment on some of your stories, rather then you having to read mine lol
And then, they say it in their post.
I'd recommend spending some time around here first; you'll see that you'll be welcomed here (and that there are also people with some vastly different situations from you).
Here's a few you might like to see.
http://www.ashtarcommandcrew.net/forum/topics/new-here-this-seemed-...
http://www.ashtarcommandcrew.net/profiles/blogs/spellcraft-focusing...
http://www.ashtarcommandcrew.net/profiles/blogs/whered-all-the-sane...
Otherwise, you can look at the "Latest Activity" or "Most Viewed Today" boxes on the right and hyperlink from there.
Hey! Welcome and enjoy!
Btw I too can see little particles while looking outside on a clear day, (not Im not looking at the sun lol). Don't know what this is.