By Andrew Barker
Do you find yourself getting angry, frustrated, and anxious fairly regularly at things that you have no control over? Does a slow driver make your blood boil? Do red traffic lights bring up feelings of anxiety? Does someone else’s opinion feel like it hurts you? Do you sometimes shame yourself –“oh I should have done it that way, handled that differently, said something else…” Do other people and their actions create frustration in you?
We can train the mind to relate to things much differently. The truth is, we always have a choice as to how we relate to things. We always have a choice in how we feel. When someone drives slowly in front of us, what does getting frustrated or anxious achieve?
A Matter of Conditioning
We are conditioned to react the way we do. We have been conditioned to let things get to us so easily, and affect us in the way that it does. This conditioning can be undone though, and we can find peace more and more throughout our lives. We have this habit of being unsettled, distracted, thinking about the past, the future, or some fictitious scenario. We go over and over and OVER certain scenarios, certain conversations. But notice how this replaying never actually solves it; it merely replays it for us repeatedly?
So do you really want to be a sponge; absorbing the views of others, and acting in the way in which you were conditioned? Mindfulness (or attention training) allows us to see things in an unconditioned manner. This practice allows us to relate to what’s happening in a more wholesome manner, rather than the normal mode of reaction. Mindfulness -or meditation allows us to watch these emotions and feelings arise in us, and just by witnessing them –rather than identifying AS them -we begin to quell the unnecessary thoughts and emotions we were once conditioned to project.
I’d like to conclude this article by sharing a video that speaks on what I believe to be a closely related subject. One of the biggest reasons our inner state can often be so easily impacted is because we are always looking to everything outside of us to make us happy. Adyashanti reminds us that the only source of happiness not only lies within, but is also available to us all of the time.
About the author: I did stuff in the past, and live here on Earth. Please doubt everything I say with healthy skepticism, and find out for yourself whether there is truth in any of it. See past the words and concepts, and inquire for yourself whether we are both pointing at the same moon. If these questions or lines of inquiry are something you ponder, lets consider this a friendly dialogue between two people sitting in a park. Let the words be a dance of ideas and contemplation, never foregone conclusions or absolutes. With Love.
Replies
I can relate to this, Phylos because if you are doing the same thing everyday without any change it seems like all you can do is think about all the bad things...it's like a playback loop. I constantly read spiritual books and truly try to think positively but out of habit the bad thoughts start seeping back in. Buddha said you are what you think...if that's true I'm in trouble. I just do not know what to do to get past all the negativity. I sort of agree with what that guru said.
There is an inner Master within all of us, I believe. I am in the process of learning how to turn everything over to this inner Master. It is difficult for me. Maybe it is easy for some, I don't know. It is said that this Master is an expression of God's unconditional love for all and has the highest state of consciousness on this Earth. It is God's primary Agent and a personification of God's Word tasked with one primary task: The return of soul to self awareness, then God Consciousness in order to become a co-worker with God. Surrender to this Master is essential to to true Spiritual unfoldment. For me, this is the only way to control my raging Human consciousness in these intense and trying times. I often feel like the "Forrest Gump" of spiritual seekers. My ignorance is immense and worn on my sleeve for all to see and, for me, it is only with the patient help of one already achieved that I can hope to be led to the Truth. If you would like to know more about my path, you may message me privately and I will share with you what I have found to stand every test I have been able to put to it and still ring true. <3 Phylos
That's wonderful, Phylos. It sounds like we're at the same stage...I will never be able to make the declaration I've made it until I actually have. For me it's a process.<3 Avatar
I don't feel this is a simple or easy subject to address. An obscure quote from an unknown source I once read comes to mind. I believe it was from some Guru, spiritual type, wise one, or the like. It is as follows:
One can never trust Human consciousness... not even your own."