We manifest our reality but its not working for me, I try and try to manifest happiness and good fortune but its just not working. I meditate and focus on creating this positivity and nothing, absolutely nothing is happening. Theres this heaviness of pain that hovers over me like a large black cloud. I have so much pain in my life and so much anger about the pain thats hard to let go of.
I feel like I just cant take this stress anymore. Im sick of the cancer and pretending its not there, I hate that Im still struggling with finding a job, I feel sad about my ex husband abandoning me and my daughter. I try to be happy and things just keep feeling like crap. Sometimes I feel like I would be happy if I didnt exist, it just feels better not even being here on this earth. Theres just so much negativity and confusion.
I used to read blogs by Greg Giles and I was motivated and inspired by the positivity till the "dark ones" took him and now hes just a sad lonely man that hates everyone and probably hates me because I used to argue with him. The world just feels so cold and empty now, everyone is changing and its not good. Its hard to tell whats real anymore when the people you trusted take your reality and crush it like a broken mirror.
Theres so much sadness and I feel it coming from everywhere, in the air and from the earth. It makes me feel completely still and sick to my stomach. I wish that I could just make this all go away and that all the problems in my life and everyones lives ended. I just wish the earth was safe and free of all the wars and negativity. I dont understand why it has to be like this :(
Sometimes I dream about being rescued by a spacecraft and taken far away from here because this earth is not safe anymore. I just want to be safe and to know that everything really is going to be ok. I want to feel love and happiness but it all feels like a fairy tale. I wish so badly that I could change this reality and make it positive.
Sometimes I just listen to music and feel all of my emotions create an energy that runs up my spine and down my arms that helps me feel weightless. When Im in this place in my mind I feel completely alone and safe. I really dont know what else to do but write a blog about what Im feeling and hope someone understands me.
:( Im just so sad, so terribly sad. I wish I didnt feel so sad all the time.
Replies
so why do you have your ex on facebook, this is an invitation for you to keep up to date on his life, focus on yours and your kids life, focus on healing your cancer so you can actually be the mother to your child.
there are other ways for you to contact him besides facebooko that will not include updates about their personal life.
You can do it, or else you wouldnt be here, Love you!
Ahhh.....but there is sooo much good in the world, it is everywhere. You just have to focus on seeing the good. If your mind is set on the bad, then that is the first thing that you will see. I know that it is easier said than done, but you can find good and love in any place short of a battle zone, been there, done that, but that even has rare moments of love and compassion. But if you are not in a battle zone, then start to find all the goodness, it is e v e r y w h e r e. Starting tomorrow, see how many good things that you can find, spot, over hear, or whatever. You will be surprised.
Your current situation will not last very long, especially if you start to focus on the positive, been there and done that too....it plain works. Keep yer head up...errr down, depending on where you live, but you know what I'm saying. Thake care and God Bless. :-)
Hi Sarah,
I know exactly what you mean when you talk about the sadness coming from every direction, and it engulfs you. I feel this, too, alot of times. I feel helpless and frustrated. I get angry. I want to cry for our beautiful planet and for the innocent children and the animals. I am so sorry to hear of the pain you have suffered and continue to suffer in your personal life. I want you to know that I am thinking of you and sending you my love and good thoughts.
Jill
LOVE AND LITE TO YOU HANG IN THERE XXXOOO LOTS OF HUGS AND KISSES TO YOU
JUST A FEELING FROM MY HEART BUT I FEEL U NEED TO LISTEN TO MORE UPLIFTING MUSIC
I FOUND THE MUSIC U POSTED AWFUL AND IT BROUGHT ME DOWN SO I TURNED IT OFF
LOOK FOR MORE HAPPY FUNKY MUSIC, SOUND PLAYS A BIG PART IN OUR PROGRESS OF ASENDING AND WORKING THROUGH OUR LIFES LESSONS
THIS BOOK MAY HELP YOU ITS BY SONIA CHOQUETTE CALLED SOUL LESSONS AND SOUL PURPOSE IT GIVES
THE READER SOME INSITE INTO UR LIFE CHOICES U CHOOSE AND WHY WE DO AND DONT DO STUFF WE SOULD OR SHOULDNT
ANY WAY I FEEL IT WILL HELP YOU
LOVE LITE ALWAYS
if life was easy, we would not learn anything from it.................................
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