i must be honest, i feel as if i don't "own" my time. i feel as if i have been allowing myself to keep my energies and frequency lower due to drinking and smoking cigarettes. i am in college and its just how i know to function. i have recently started to experiment with dmt. as much as i feel this dmt allows me to have beautiful meditations and really raise my variations (which i believe can be channeled through practice) but at the same time i cannot tell if i am being manipulated by other peoples' lower vibrations or i am succumbing to my own demons, or i am just paranoid. i realize i have a choice to eat 100% perfect and clean... but i almost have this ego inside me which wants to challenge everything our galactic mother is trying to tell us.
i have recently been working on owning my own mind and every decision i make but i there is always this small voice in my head refusing what I'm telling it to do. while i am very aware how drugs such as dmt, nicotine and alcohol affect the brain and body, but this combo of unclean vs clean living is starting to get under my skin.
i am conscious of 2012 happenings and try to stay in tune with the world around me but i need some kind of a sign, like a clear as day sign, to tell me what is happening as my body and mind adjusts.
much love guys
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much love to you all and i hope to achieve ascension in the near future by working on these inner struggles.
Dear jans_zen,
Let me start by saying: "you are always on the right path for you". Don't compare yourself to others, we all have or own path, and we're always where we need to be. All is well.
Do you really need an outside sign to comfort you or to change you? Maybe try to look at the inner signs first. You know what's best for you at any given moment.
And yes, you have knowledge about what you do or don't do, and yes you have choices, and you will choose and make changes when you want it and when you are ready for it.
You are living, learning, evolving at your own pace, as we all are. Embrace yourself and find your inner flow. Also look at yourself as a neutral observer, without shame, guilt and judging and find within yourself how you want your life to be.
From a place of inside love and peace you will notice things that no longer serve you will disappear as you naturally flow to whatever state of being that resonates with you.
Be blessed, jans_zen
Yes Ravenwallsdotter has a good point; wherever you are is the perfect place to be in order that you grow and fulfil what you came here to do...
Its also good to note that when one if undergoing changes, the ego seeks to control by arguing (within the head/ mind) , so recognise that part of you that is resisting, but know that ultimately; it has no control over you.
Sometimes we have to experience a variety of things in life to expand/grow
<3
you are very correct about the ego arguing with myself. i have been letting it effect me much too directly.