Spiritual Forum

I feel like I keep repeating myself. Day in and day out, my thoughts are trapped in the same motion. I strongly desire something more form life, but I’m unsure what it is or even how to achieve it. I know that things are supposedly “happening” and have been “happening” for awhile, but sometimes it is so hard to continue day to day hoping for some giant leap into unbridled and amazing change. Am I naïve, am I too young to understand the world? Have the supposed events that lead me to this new form of thought been for good or bad? How does one judge the dissolution of his entire belief system? I feel as if I’ve been plucked out of this space I used to occupy. The space was warm, comforting almost womb like. Here thought was predetermined, there was a generalized path that I knew I was to take, a set schedule to follow. Everyone was in the same space; comfortable and oblivious to the happenings outside of the space. We all would continue to float on in our perceived blissful state. Then, one day it happened. I was simply plucked out of this warm and familiar space. I was tossed just outside of it, sent tumbling down a rabbit hole in search of answers I had no questions for. The basics; who am I, where am I, why am I all arose at once. And after having tackled these provocations I began to feel slightly more comfortable in this new no space, space. Who am I? - i am a human being, a soul, an American, a jew, a person who seems to think differently than the rest. Where am I? - I am in rhode island, in America, on earth, in this solar system, in this galaxy, in this universe. Ok so I’ve got who and where, now onto why. Why am I here? -this is the one that been a whole hell of a lot more tricky for me. The basics; I am here to live. OK, what the fuck does that mean? What is living? Why is living? How is living? Everytime I come upon an answer it only adds more confusion. I cannot ever come to a finality of reason, there is always something more to figure out, something more to decipher. Some message either form within or without mea that needs to be understood. Maybe that the infinite nature of this universe though. That there is always something more to be done, to be thought, to be imagined. Maybe were all here to float around this cosmic playground and do as we feel. Maybe there is no end to existence, that our souls, being immortal, will continue on through this paradox of being alive but dying at the same time. We are all faced with our mortality at some point or another. But what does this mortality mean to us? That our physical incarnation has only a finite amount of time to explore the inner and outer worlds? I honestly don’t know what I am writing about, sometimes I enjoy writing until I lose inspiration, place it up on this forum and see what other people think. So please help me figure out where I was going…. Finish my thought friend