Anybody have any good jokes?

People,We gotta lighten up a little. Like Bill Hicks said "It's just a ride."Two ETs abduct a big, fat guy and take him onboard their space craft. They strap him down on a gurney and one ET says to the other, "Be careful. I've examined this type before. Whatever you do, don't pull his finger!"MV

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    • esseya,

      That bizarro comic with the two dogs is the best thing I've read all year!

      It's perfect.

      MV

  •  

    This song is funny!

  • A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a Bar. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!" The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?" The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina."

    • lmao

    • lol.............

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The Warminster UFO Mystery of 1964


  On Christmas Day 1964, a quiet English town awoke to a mystery that has never been fully explained. Residents of Warminster, Wiltshire reported deafening booming sounds, invisible shockwaves, and strange vibrations before sightings of glowing…

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