These are seven of the signs your relationship is working well.

1.      When you feel safe to be yourself. If you’re hiding who you are or you’re trying to be different to suit your partner you’re not authentically in a relationship. When you feel loved for who you are you’ll find you grow together.

2.      When kindness towards each other is effortless. In love we see our other half’s need and answer it as easily as we would answer our own. Selfishness is washed away when hearts unite. To fill your lover’s vessel is the same as to fill your own.

3.      When communication is unguarded. You can share the thoughts that come to mind in trust that your partner will find an interest in your musings. Laughter will come easily and often.

4.      When your beloved is beautiful to behold to you. When their posture and poise, the sound of their voice and their smell are alluring all is well. Regardless of their fit with fashion when love lives your lover looks lovely.

5.      When communication is unnecessary. Sometimes in comfortable silence we can be together yet alone. Also, in love speaking can be replaced with a flowing knowing where questions can be asked and answered from across a crowded room with or without a look. When our hearts touch so too do our psychic senses.

6.      When sex is sweet and satisfying. The where or ways or frequency don’t really matter as much as the mutuality. Touch is a seminal way we experience and express closeness so if you’re hugging, holding hands and catching a casual caress when you’re physically close, innocently and often, there will probably be more adult action going on as well.

7.      When you’re eating, sleeping, and exercising well. When your closeness is uncomplicated there’s an ease with which you manage the basics of life. It’s only when things are out of shape that you manifest dysfunctions in these foundational things.

Relationships are worth putting effort into and over time there can be some storms to negotiate, however sharing our love is ideally easy and energising. If these seven signs aren’t routinely seen there may be something amiss.

Martin Hunter Jones is an honorary member of the Australian Counselling Association.