Yesterday my hair went back to its original color. I succumbed to society’s definition of “normal.” I was told I look like a crazy person with orange hair.
I didn’t like the brown hair because it made me look face-to-face with Pamela Eve Solomon, my birth name. I cried all day and night feeling like a failure for conforming to society’s standards.
When I woke up, I started my gratitude prayers and stopped in the middle. A rage came over me. I went to the mirror and screamed at the image in the mirror. For 5 minutes, I told her I hated her over and over. I wanted to feel that hate so I could just say society has won. There really is no unconditional love on this planet. However, after 5 minutes, I got up to do yoga. Before I even started yoga, I looked at the image in the mirror and told her I love her. I said whatever you did in this life or any other life, I totally love you and forgive you. I smiled because I knew I really meant it. It was a merging together of Pamela and Vanaja.
I really thought I hated Pamela because my biological family told me I killed Pamela and Vanaja is horrible. Since I loved Vanaja so much I wanted to hate Pamela. I simply couldn’t. This experience showed me I unconditionally love myself and forgive myself completely.
I am told I am crazy because I am living in my sanctuary which has been in foreclosure for 5 years and the bank gave me permission to stay until April 2016. I am told I am crazy because I am happily living in my sanctuary a month without water. I am told I am crazy because I like orange hair better than the typical blond, brown and red heads. I am told I am crazy because I have 2 Masters Degrees and I don’t have a job paying money because I believe healing should be free. I am told I am crazy because I laugh, smile, dance, sing and am genuinely happy any time I choose.
Am I a leader? In order to be a leader, one must have followers. Currently, I have 0 followers. However, in my vision millions and possibly billions of people are following my words. Since there is no time and distance in other dimensions, that vision may take hours, days, weeks, months or years. I know it happens. There is no doubt.
So, I wait and continue doing my distance healings and helping people who truly want to self heal. Even though my heart breaks into a million pieces when people who profess their love to me criticize, blame, judge and betray me, I have no anger and only send unconditional love, complete forgiveness and total acceptance to them. I am able to be happy when I choose and I am also able to feel the crucifixion when I choose so I am able to teach others through my experience.
My heart goes out to all the people suffering on this planet. There is an easy way to help mankind globally, but it is so easy nobody believes it. One day you will realize Vanaja Ananda only speaks the truth. It would be great if that day was today! Love and blessings to all!