Spiritual Blogs

I'm tired.

I suppose this stuff is real.  I'm not sure if I've really come to grips with that, but I see just a little more of it, it's becoming a little more real.

And, I'm choking on the red pill.

Random thing:  reading Tamoharadasa the Wanderer's 'request' just now made me think:  Hare Krishna sounds like Herr Krishna, which would equate to Mr. Krishna.  Mr.-Mr.Krishna-Mr.-Krishna?

So anyways, I'm really tired.. I suppose I'll put down my latest experience.

"So I want to learn about energy, and how it works."

"You do?  Ok," said Shermonttu, "here goes."

"Every person has a latent field of energy about them.  There are differing energies based on the area of the body it's being exuded by, the head, the heart, the groin, etc.  There are different names for this field, some call it ther aura, the chakras, the biorithmic field.  But it's essentially the same thing.

"Now, you've read part of the Naruto series, which does have a bit of truth to it:  you can manipulate your energy, bring different energies to different areas, and manifest them.  The different energies of the body can be converted, because all they are are just different vibrations of energy, it's like regular energy.  The way to do this, well, is just essentially willpower."

"How does that work?"

"Well, I really don't know... how does willpower work.  Intent...hmm.  It's like... it has to do with that you partly ARE the energy, since it is part of you you can control it."

"Now, the reason most people, including you, can't really do anything with their energy or intent is because... well, they aren't able to control it, and they don't have much of it either.  Your Buddhist monks, they are some of the best among you for that, but they really only have control, and not much amount of energy.  Makes you think about perspective, doesn't it?  This explains how a crowd of people could light a sheet of paper on fire with their intent, which is at best scattered and small, but it adds up with a lot of people; however, properly trained, each could do that on their own."

"So I can't actually..."

"No, no, you were under assistance those times, that's just showing what could be.  Try to do that water-spell."

I did, and all that happened was a drop of water that fell to the ground.

A question came into my mind:  is this real, or is this born of doubt?  I don't know.

"So what you need, is training.  Right now, we're just going to focus on gathering energy and releasing it."

I was suddenly in front of a desk, seated.  He handed me a pen.

"What you are going to do, is you are going to push that pen.  You are going to see how far you can get it to go.  Do it now."

I placed it in front of me, and then, with my right index finger, I pushed it.  It rolled two times.

"Ok, now imagine energy collecting at your fingertip when you do it."

I did, and I got it two, three, two, three rolls.

"Now, really start to focus.  Imagine energy coming from all over your body, really collecting there, and when you push the pen, release all of it, so that it scatters, and some of it hits the pen."

I did, I really imagined energy just building up, and here, I got that sensation as well, just this great buildup most intense at my fingertip and going down to my forearm, just energy coming from everwhere, my head, feet, stomach, other arm, and I did this for about a minute, and then I pushed the pen.  1.. 2.. 3.. 4 rolls.

"Ok, now keep doing that."

4..3...4...5...and in a great release, I got seven.

"Good!  That trained both the amount of energy you produce, and your control over it.  Now to explain distance manipulation.

"Basically, you either have to "wire" your energy, or make it smart.  Wiring means you have to maintain a connection to the released energy, devoting a small amount to connecting to the energy."

He produced a 1 inch cube of bright light.

"This is energy.  Right now, I've got it encased in a shell of energy that takes the shape of a cube.  If I suddenly withdrew the shell, the energy would fly everwhere, probably first crushing the desk, then us.  It's like a little bomb.  But, I can direct the energy, by making a shaft for it to go up-" a beam of the energy hit a target near us, coming from a point on the cube, much like a laser "- or I could make a point of gravitation for it to go to.  This would mean making a small hole on the cube, then making a point on a desired target in my mind, a point of energy that specifically says, to that energy, 'come here'."  He did this, pointed the cube towards the target, and a beam of energy first came out like it was just oging to scatter everywhere, but it directed itself towards the target, resulting in a beam whose diameter was significantly larger and less precise than the laser point.  "The point of gravitation takes little energy to make, but the energy seeks a direct path, going through anything in between it and the gravitation point.  The shell takes more energy, but can be bent, so that you could shoot energy through a series of small tubes and still hit your target."

"You can also relinquish a bit of control over your energy, giving it simply a directive along with some ability to make decisions on its own.  It's not as terrible as it seems, it's like an auto-targeting system on a microcomputer that's part of a missile, instead of just a bullet you shoot.  It takes less energy than the shell, but requires a great mastery over your energy, but it also relieves you of the duty of making every decision for the energy, you just let it go and it does its thing."

"So that's energy.  Training it is going to wear you out, but make sure you do it, both up here and down there.  The more you practice, the more you can do."

Then I went aboard the ship with a new character, Zick Sariah.  He's got this messed up white hair, an easygoing look.  Relatively intelligent, and it seems I've known him since a long time ago.  We went and rescued Gerald, who was tied up in Sarah's former holding cell, and we went and killed the remaining aliens, well, really Gerald, with his swords, all I could do was summon a drop of water.  I was kicked across the room by a purple dragon looking fellow; all I managed to do was resist the mind-control of a Grey and kick its head in.  Upon the death of the dragon, the     ship started to collapse, and we were shot out to space.  We almost forgot Sarah before the ship blew to rubble.

Now we were resting in a bubble in orbit, tending to various wounds.  The spider came and called Zick away, and he came back adn said we had to go somewhere.  I asked why, he said I don't know.  We went to a desert like area, it was sunset, and it looked way too much like a drawing I have to make me believe that I was actually "up there" now, instead of my imagination.  Then I just faltered and went to sleep.

I had a dream that involved a banker with a shotgun protecting his bank from looters, and me giving roughly $170 to a classmate of mine for no reason other than he wanted it badly.  I was thinking, it's just a bunch of worthless paper.

After eight hours of sleep I still felt really tired.  It got better, I found out I could get Xbox live with my new wireless connection to the internet.  Around 2:30 I went on a bike ride to fetch some milk.  I came home to the realization that I had some homework to do, not too much, but enough to make me worry.  I basically became really tired, and laid in bed from 3:30 to about 5:00, and then from 5:15 to 6:00.  Somewhere in there, I asked my guardians -who I assume to include the spider and Zick, maybe the Gails- to help me through this.  The spider responded, pointing out that throughout the day I had operated at a relatively low energy, then going through a trip to the store and homework worry made me shut down, as my energy capacity from last night was shot, and this just burned me out.  Also, sometimes I'm just gonna hafta use will to pull through the day. I suppose they did help me, or maybe the sleep and eating did, maybe both.  But now I'm pretty well.

So now I'm not so tired.  Maybe writing helped.  Who knows?