Someone said that selflessness can't be without the self since it makes one feel good and anything that makes us feel good is planned by the ego. The true way to selflessness is to not care about the result. However, my rebuttal to that was for discussion sake was that even then choosing not to care or choosing not to choose means that you are once again activating your ego. To say you don't care is a lie since no creature is dumb enough to not care about the result whether it be good or bad since it has invested emotions, time, mental effort, calories, etc...into whatever. To go through the process and not reap the consequence defeats every living things purpose on this planet which is to survive and seek enjoyment in the case of humans. I think when people refer to selflessness is to answer to a higher ego that is more spiritual and one that considers kindness and compassion as being more rewarding than the suffering and misery of others. Selflessness is more beneficial than selfishness most of the time meaning it pays to be kind since man has never been a solitaire creature since the beginning. Humans band together as a primal thing to survive in this physical world and the ego stems from that evolved mentality that it pays to create bonds where one would benefit from interacting with the other. You cannot get rid of that but you can surely through selflessness think less about yourself and more about others if that is a lesson you need to learn. Some of us will need to learn to focus on being selfish because in the selfishness we learn to love ourselves and recognize who we are and some of us will need to learn to be selfless since we have focused too much on ourselves that others suffer from our actions. It is all a balancing act. I wish that others will understand that the selflessness that many masters, teachers, and loved ones are bringing up is because our world currently is imbalanced with the needs of selfish leaders who have wreaked havoc on the whole population because their selfishness has become very huge and violent. Spirituality is never the extreme because by now I hope that more have realized we need both to balance our world. You should never try to survive solely by logic or solely by emotions. When you try to do this you take away from the human wholeness. We all should learn to do the best that we can given the circumstances and how far along we are.
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