For thous who have been reading my blogs on some of my memories from my past lives probably remembers the story about my twin flame when he was Detective Elan Torres, a detective that favorite cases where when he could hunt gangsters. To hunt gangsters gave him a huge kick, it was one of his absolute favorite challenges. How ever this also led to his death in the end. Anyone probably remembers that I told you that they shot my sweet 10 year old twin boys. You probably remember that i told you he was shot! Well, the gangster did point his gun on Elan, but it is more in the story...I saw rest of it in form of a vision from a old memory when I was sleeping few months back.Now, let me tell you what TRULY was going on in our house that dreadful day.
Well when the bloody gangsters found out that Elan wasn´t a gangster witch he pretended to bee to spy on them and gather proof to put them into justice, they broke in to our house! The gangster boss 2 helpers pointed the guns at us. One gangster pointed his gun on me, the other one pointed his gun on Elan where he sat on the chair. I could see to my horror that Elan pointed his gun on our 10 year old sons head. The gangsters had made it clear, he had to choose between me or the boys! I could see Elan´s hand shaking where he pointed his gun on his sons head. A tear fell from his eye where he pointed his gun on his sons head while his hand was shaking...The gangster boss said with a nasty cold tone in his voice " Your choice man, who´s gonna bee, your wife or your kids!" Elan´s hand where still shaking...suddenly I see him raise his gun and put it under his cheek and pull the trigger and blew his brains out! I screamed of terror when I saw my darling take his own life, in a desperate try to save us. Elan hoped that killing himself would save us, that the gangsters would leave us alone if they saw him die. But no, thous heartless bastards shot my two boys in cold blood in front of my own eyes. The gangster boss decided to save me and have me like his new toy...but everyone knows what happened later, who has read the last blog about this....
This kind of memories can truly make you bitter and sad to remember! Still I have forgiven them, the gangsters, but still I can´t help feeling bitter for what they did.....
Comments
Forgiven myself for what!? I always forgive myself if I see that i need to! But I do not understand what I have to forgive myself in this situation, in my past life! I was home with the boys and my darling was in his office when this gangsters broke in to our house! I saw my husband take his own life, a desperate try to save us. I saw my two boys get shot down in cold blood! Maby bitter is not the right word...I do not know! But this kind of memories are so heartbreaking and sad to remember! I have forgiven them long time ago already, but I can´t help that it hurts in my heart to remember this things! I lost my darling husband and kids that they! The once i loved so purely and deeply from the bottom of my heart and soul!
If you are still feeling bitter then you haven't as yet forgiven yourself.
Forgiveness is about your own absolution. Not those that have committed an act against you. Although they too may benefit.
Indeed Beato, Indeed! That is what I always do and always have don! Forgiven them! And it is what you are supouse to do! It is the right thing to do, to forgive them cause they truly do not know what they´ve done...
I suggest that you consciously and verbally release the emotion you feel when remembering; feel it and then tell the source you will no longer have that emotional attachment, you let it go like a sack of rocks and it falls away. It works for me ~Namaste~