Spiritual Blogs

Listening

Posted by Charlotte Jones on January 12, 2010 at 6:54pm
I don't know why it's so hard to hear sometimes. I guess I never trusted what I heard, until very recently - which has helped me hear more, at times anyway. It took me the book Conversations with God to explain that receiving a message does not require that you hear a voice from some unseen source - that "God" speaks to us in all ways. This should not have been news to me - and it really wasn't - but I had forgot about this simple truth. I was stuck thinking I'd hear some clear voice and I'd be 100% sure that it was God talking - and ignored my inner knowledge that God is the everything, God is in us, and thus, communicates through thoughts, feelings, intuition, and through the outside world, through the people we meet, the things we experience, our dreams, everything. If God is everything, then there is no limit to how God communicates. Yet it can be so hard to trust that what I experience is in fact something enlightened and worth listening to - but then there are those moments that are so pure in energy that you just know.The very last moment I had was spurred by my little daughter - she is only 3 weeks old and generally focuses her eyes on something - and I've noticed a lot that she looks behind my shoulder, into thin air. My mom tries to find some obvious explanation, but there is none (ie. no light source or something on the wall behind me) - and I'm convinced she is seeing this one guardian or angel that I think I have with me. I always picture this light, male figure standing behind me - not that I've ever been able to see my guide, but I still feel like there is something to my wishful thinking. So one day, when I was feeling frustrated, and I was holding my daughter who was looking over my shoulder - I was filled with this thought, that I took as a message from my guardian. The message was pure, simple, and something that should come natural, but for me, it doesn't. The message was simple:"Live for yourself - be happy, and the rest of your life will align with this."I had just been spending a lot of time thinking about these relationship issues I'm still having - and this message was just what I needed to find some comfort. I've been trying so hard to not get on my partners nerves, to not make him react to anything I do, to earn his acceptance and love - and this "voice" from my guardian just conveyed this strong feeling and message that as soon as I was happy, I'd automatically find myself where I wanted to be - and it also reminded me that I was not even being myself right now, so no wonder I've been feeling miserable. I've been so focused on earning his love, which is unattainable and gives away my own power and worth to someone else - and if I love myself, I won't even have to work to find people who appreciate me - they will be around simply because I'll be at a better frequency and my surrounding will match that. At least that is what I was told by whatever that source was - and it rings true with a lot of ideas I've read. Also, for that split second, I realized I did not need his love nor acceptance - and that gave me strength to consider the possibility of things not working out between us.So now I'm trying to be more honest - be more me - to dare to take confrontation if it means that I take care of myself doing so. I hope to find myself open to more of these messages - to help me to reach where I want to be. Anyone have good ways of opening up to these messages - feel free to share them.
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Quintus Curtius Rufus, Historiarum Alexandri Magni 4.3.25–26

English translation from Latin (John C. Rolfe, Loeb Classical Library):

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