Many times over we find ourselves trying to answer a higher calling but as soon as we pick up momentum something or some one tries to make us stray from the path. Instead of seeing it as just hitting our heads against a hard place and using force, why don't we try basically becoming like amoebas and just taking it within ourselves absorbing that into our light body and changing into something productive. I find that when one get's closer to the source there are always opposing forces that try to make you stray though if we allow ourselves to ask for help I find those minor hiccups along the way not to be so bad. As I see it no matter the event or circumstances it is already happening to us so we can either take it badly or transform it into somethings positive. There's nothing wrong with asking help and nothing wrong if we don't maintain a space of love at all times. Most of us would like to stay in the realm of love, but I think that we can learn a thing or two in the absence of love. Also, I think that there is no shame in feeling what you are feeling either. It may be unpleasant and even shocking how our reactions may be to ourselves and those around us, but if you do not feel anger , pain, or sadness you cannot recognize how to control it. No matter how many times you fall you just have to get back in there.