I have always known I was different and had a so-called good life until my 30's and due to circumstances went on a negative path. About 10 years later I woke up and found out I had cancer. I somehow knew it was due to the pain/fear/anger I had held onto. I did the regular treatment but also was drawn to a support facility that provided access to alternative healing which I did as much as possible and would call to take advantage of cancellations. One day a miracle occurred. I finally totally let go, went into a convulsion and had an amazing amount of heat leave my heart-almost knocking over the healer which had never happened. I went on to become a Reiki Master and during my second initiation I literally turned into an eagle or riding on an eagle flying over the most beautiful surrealistic landscape. After that I found myself living in an alternative universe(it felt). I could feel everything and their vibrations. It changed my life. I made peace with my mother and went back to work helping those in poverty and found it easy to connect from the heart. I didn't keep up my meditation until the last several months and am back on the path. I think I left the years before behind but I am having to really examine the things that have come to me in the last several years. One thing that concerns me is I feel the need to connect with others but those that I have touched through work I am not able to associate with and keep my job which until we are free is the main way I touch people. I do feel the need to connect with others for feedback and I wonder if others feel the same. I just think I need to connect also to boost energy and I am wondering if anyone has any feedback. I am so grateful to have found out all the people out there like me as I had decided I was just alone and weird.