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  • How very dissapointing...I went to watch the vids and the first 3 have been removed by the owner it said!?? I was keen to have a look. I would like to see the last one but dont have enough download left so I cant see that either. Oh well, everything for a reason I guess!!!

    love 'n' light,



  • Thank you lovely Anja but wrong again. I really dont care about going to the beach or what ever. It is a lot more complex than that. i know most kids at that age dont want anything to do with their parents, but my situation is much worse. I lost my oldest son in 2008. He was only 21 and killed in a tragic accident so they tell me. I dont believe the story they told me but i just have to accept. i thought this would bring the family closer together but i was wrong. at a time when we should have been supporting each other, i was treated like i was invisible or convenient for when others needed to take there anger out on someone. i was that someone. i handled that although i cried myself to sleep every night like i still do. i dont understand what is going on or why but i do know it is making me into someone i dont want to be and its taking all my strength to stay humble and not get bitter and spiteful for what has happened. instead i search for some kind of explanation or purpose. since 1998 i have been struggling to keep my humble home so my kids would have something when i die but my greedy ex and his new girlfriend have worked on me and my kids and now after all these years they finally got that too. i did not get a settlement when we split as i could not afford a solicitor and he took all the money so he afforded the best and got it all. I left him because for over 20 years i put up with his abuse and that is where the kids get it from. he was violent, a drunk and a druggo. i tried many times to leave him and finally after 13 years of miserable marriage i managed to escape with nothing but the clothes i was wearing. during this time my mum had a major stroke and i was her carer until i lost my home and could not house her so i had to put her into an old peoples home. i sooo much hated doing that as i hardly see her now because i cant get there. i live with the guilt of that too. i will never forget the day i found her. i was working and i just got this great urge to go home, so i did. i couldnt find mum anywhere, which was strange as she never left the house without me. i looked outside calling out for her frantically. i started to panic and then walked into the kitchen where i found her laying on the ground covered in ants. she was lifeless. anyway, i will never forgive myself for not being there for her and not taking better care for her. my mum is totally my idle. i adore her. she is the opposite to me. she is strong and smart and funny and all the great things one could wish for a mum and i wished i could be that for my kids. anyway, i have really lost the plot now and i hope this thread finishes as i am a little embarrassed for spreading my life story to the world like this. also, i thank all the dear people that read my complaints and tried to help, but i ask that people dont try to analyze me or my situation because the guess work is upsetting. i do believe i am a good mum and i do all the things i believe a good mum should do for her children. i also except that i am not perfect but i am. lol. xxx

    i am very tired now and i hope we can find something else to chat about like saving the world or something next time we chat.

    i wish you much joy in your life always. love 'n' light,


  • Hi starchild, I'm glad my post was of some benefit to you.

    Hi faust, yes i watched those videos you posted and the information is enlightening.

    Here is an older movie that really contains some valuable messages in my opinion, enjoy.

    peace love light


    • Thank you VioletRay. Just to change the subject... i have a new question for those in the know. What does it mean when i keep seeing the numbers 1 & 4. sometimes it will be a combination of those numbers like just a few minutes ago i looked at the time and it was 1:44am. i nearly always seem to wake up at 4:01 or 4:11am, not today though, as i am still awake and as tired as i am, i just cant sleep. anyway, lets see what interesting responses i get on this one. i have checked it out on various numerology sites but nothing that i can really go ..... ah yes, now i understand! 

      anyway, love you vids and thank you for sharing.

      much love and peace to you too,


      • They more likely mean what you think they mean, what your intuiton tells you, if it tells you nothing, when you see them again, just let things happen but be very observant, and you may notice what they mean.
        • hmmm...thought you might give me a bit more to go on. It is now nearly a year since i wrote that message and still these numbers keep appearing for me on clocks, car regos. posters, infact everywhere i go seems to show me these numbers. I dont really get anything from my intuition, and now i am just getting frustrated as i feel it is some kind of message or coding of some kind, and i cant work it out! This is very frustrating for me.

          thanx anyway,

          love 'n' light,


  • The awaken person is a very active one, but at the same time they are doing nothing, they are just observers.

    Not observing in order to acomplish something, but just observing in order to let things happen.

    You have to understand what real love is, wich is not just hugs and kisses, I recommend you look at this post where it is explained:


  • What happen with 3 days of darkness..that it will happen...i mean nothing..

    The bogie man it will not come...like i said some time ago..he take some days off..he need it..

  • Hi starchild, thanks for sharing with us your story.

    I tend to agree with a great many of the things a man named, Marshall Rosenberg speaks of.

    Watch this three video series and you'll hear him speak truthfully about how we do create our realities, though gangs, like gov., corp., etc., etc. create a certain percentage of our reality as well, as should be obvious.

    Though with that said, I can attest to my observation in life thus far, that what we resist, persists. When I say resist, I mean in an active way, by focusing ones energy upon that which we may not like, especially in a offensive or resistive type of way. 

    I can assure you, I have directly experienced this lesson and I think I've learned a little from it, though I don't resist anymore, I just do not comply whenever it is possible to do so and I focus on unconditional love and live and let live.

    Please accept my love starchild, for that's all I have in reality to give also.

    peace love light


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