So, What Does One Do?

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Permalink Reply by Solstar on April 17, 2012 at 6:47pm

     I have never had any children of my own, so maybe it isn't my right to say.

However, I can speak for myself because I was that rebelious child. I had no one to support me though.

Why, I wish my mother and father loved me the way you love your children. In my case, as a victim of abuse, my parentts were at fault. .I feel as though I'm not listening to the whole story, but ask him what he really wants? My parents never asked me what I wanted when all the answer was just to be loved and cared about. I just was so angry and full of hate that I couldn't even tell that they just didn't know how.

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Permalink Reply by nighteyes on April 17, 2012 at 7:33pm

thank you for your input fantasy. 

i have asked him and his answers often change.  however, what seems to be at the root of it all is that he thinks he is smart enough and wise enough to be in charge of his own life.  i try to give him some freedom and latitude, but he continues to make "immoral" (i use that word for convenience, not judgement) and dangerous decisions.  when i try to offer suggestions with regard to looking for the gift in his perceived hardships (yep, we have some, but we are much more fortunate than most of humanity), he tells me he won't accept that and continues to rail against even the most reasonable boundries (like not driving my car without a license, not getting drunk, going to school, etc).

i try to shine my light on him, but he just absorbs it and hasn't yet started to even reflect mine, let alone shine any to speak of  his own.

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