Spiritual Forum

Replies

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  lalit March 15, 2013 at 9:41pm

  B-)
  ;-)
  :-P
  :-*
  :-D
  :-D
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  lalit March 15, 2013 at 3:55pm

  There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years.
  
  Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to
  his long suffering wife's annoyance.
  
  "You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained.
  
  After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up
  early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse.
  
  While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate
  through the floorboards followed by a scream.
  
  Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs.
  
  "You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my
  guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push
  'em back in!" 
• 

  lalit March 15, 2013 at 3:54pm

  Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"
  
  Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"
  
  The Doctor nods, "Hmm."
  
  Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart
  all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've
  farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"
  "Hmm," says the Doctor,
  
  He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.
  
  The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up
  my farts?"
  
  "No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week
  I want you back here for a hearing test." 
• 

  lalit March 15, 2013 at 3:52pm

  Q. What did the blonde's left leg say to the right leg?
  
  A. Between the two of us we can make a lot of money!!! 
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  lalit March 15, 2013 at 3:51pm

  To prepare for his big date, a young man went to the rooftop of his apartment to work on his tan. Not wanting any tan lines, he sunbathed in the nude but fell asleep and burned his penis.
  
  Not wanting to miss out on his date with the hot blonde, he applied some ointment to his manhood and wrapped it in gauze. The blonde showed up at his apartment and after dinner they went into the living room to watch a movie.
  
  During the movie, the young man's sunburn began to hurt. After several minutes of extreme discomfort, he asked to be excused.
  
  A friend had told him that milk was very effective in reducing sunburn pain. So he went to the kitchen, poured a tall glass of cold milk, and placed his sunburned member into the milk. He experienced immediate relief.
  
  The blonde, wondering what the young man was doing, wandered into the kitchen and found him with his shaft fully immersed in the glass of milk. With a look of understanding the blonde exclaimed, "So that's how you load those things!" 
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  lalit March 15, 2013 at 3:50pm

  Wife: I Have Changed My Mind.
  
  Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now? 
• 

  lalit March 15, 2013 at 3:50pm

  70 year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back
  with great results.
  
  Dr. Smith said, "George everything looks great physically. How are you doing
  mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good
  relationship with God?"
  
  George replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in
  the middle of the night, poof!...the light goes on & I go to the bathroom and
  then poof! the light goes off!"
  
  "Wow," commented Dr. Smith, 'That's incredible!"
  
  A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. 'Thelma," he said,
  "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in
  awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night
  and poof! The light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! the light goes
  off?'"
  
  Thelma replied, "Darn fool! He's peeing in the fridge again!" 
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  lalit March 15, 2013 at 3:49pm

  A rich American tourist was holidaying in Rome, and was intent on seeing the
  Pope. There he stood, in a big long line with a rather expensive suit on,
  hoping the Pope would notice how smart he was and perhaps talk a few words
  with him.
  
  As the Pope made his way slowly down the line, he walked right past the
  American, hardly even noticing him.
  
  The Pope then stopped next to a low-life sot, leaned over and whispered
  something in the sot's ear, and made his way on again.
  
  This really angered the American. After speaking with the drunkard, the
  American agreed to pay $1000 dollars to exchange clothing, in the hope that
  the Pope would speak to him the next day.
  
  The next morning the American stood in the line, waiting to see the Pope and
  hopefully exchange a few words. The Pope was making his way slowly up to the
  American. When he finally reached him, he leaned over to the American and
  spoke softly into his ear..
  
  "I thought I told you yesterday to get the f**k out of here." 
• 

  lalit March 15, 2013 at 3:47pm

  When I was young I used to pray for a bicycle.

  Then I realized that God doesn't work that way.

  So I stole a bicycle and prayed for forgiveness.
• 

  lalit March 15, 2013 at 3:47pm

  once in a party fruits were talking ...
  Orange : i look like basketball
  grapes : i look like green tennis ball
  pineapple : i look like plant and pot.
  mango : i look like human face.
  .....even one shared their views ... at last.
  banana : please change the topic friends...