I'm exhausted...truly exhausted, depressed, overloaded by anxiety, negative thoughts and immense fear. I'm just sad...and alone. I've lost everything and everyone around me. My behavior have changed, my dreams are no longer. Time is standing still and at the same time passing by as if it doesn't mean anything while at the same time, I'm wasting it by doing nothing which results in my depression and anxiety. I'm doing nothing because I'm exhausted.
I've lost my tolerance, my eagerness and my hopes. I spend 90% of my days just sitting and looking at the wall or the floor thinking of what was, is and what could be. I feel nothing..the other 10% I either read the news or watch reruns of TV shows or argue with people, I'm living my version of hell.
My body is literally not responding to me anymore and I'm just 23 years old. The entire week goes by and I've only been able or willing to leave my room once, maybe twice. If I do ever leave it I'm just going to the groceries store and back. I see no point in talking to anyone, I see no point in enjoying a little game on my PC. I see no point in getting a job, making new friends, drinking beer, eating food or doing anything, I've even lost interest in smoking marijuana..now that's just sick. The weed was the only thing keeping me sane and giving me some joy. It's absurd and crazy, I love weed, but I don't feel for it nor want it anymore, I don't even get high... So I'm just stuck in some sort of a limbo world...
I don't understand why I should take care of my self or why/how I should find pleasure in life. I've really lost the sense of it...I've spent numerous nights, crying and sobbing and praying for a little peace of mind, but nothing. No hand from the heavens reaching down, no burst of warm, fuzzy energy taking over my body, calming me down. No voice, no feeling, nothing. I'm starting to realize that we're all alone, by ourselves on a tiny blue dot lost in space, without a faith.
I don't understand the point of meditation. Why would I just sit still and be quiet and even if I do and I get an epiphany or get beamed up to a mother ship getting a tour around the Universe for a night, what would the point be? I am the Universe, so why would that be exciting? When I get back, than what? I know the TRUTH for now, which is I know nothing..but I'm stuck in a place with a bunch of people thinking they know everything. It's frustrating, annoying and depressing...I'm just exhausted.
pre 21.12.2012 I was adventurous, energetic, calm, humble, lighthearted, kind, gentle...Even in the darkest of the darkest hour I saw light. Post 21.12.2012 I became angry, inpatient, depressed, frightened, torn apart...exhausted!!!!! I'M EXHAUSTED!!!!
What goes up must come down. Consider it a lesson not to get so excited, then you won't dive down into depression.
I remember these feelings. I went through a horrible depression during my 20s and it was a miracle that I came out the other side. I so remember the exhaustion, and as a person who has gone through this, let me say that perhaps it's time to rest. Maybe that's part of the reason why you're here at this point in life. No one can be strong all the time, it's impossible. If you feel it in your soul, then it's truly time. And there isn't anything wrong with that.
A long time ago I had hope. All this life I have waited for the time when this world would be free. I have seen the end and I know what happens, I just don't know when it will happen. I too feel the hopelessness and depression. Every day I battle against the endless stupidity of this world and it's manufactured want. Everyone is caught up in what they think is reality, but they have no idea of what reality is. In my last life I was happy, perhaps I am paying for enjoying myself too much back then. This life has been nothing but a waste of time, endless years of failure and broken dreams. The irony of it all is that I KNOW the truth, I have met the ETs, been on the ships, I spend time nightly with my friends in other realms.
But it all seems so pointless because nothing ever changes here.
I'm really sorry to hear, and I totally can understand your depression. I've been on that same path as you, only that I realized I was going down and started to make some changes in my life. This is what happens to you when you put your life in stock for a supposed event prophezised by someone else than you. It will hit you hard in the face when the outcome isn't even a slight to what you was expecting.
I am like you in the sense that I've given up all hope in channelings. All the buzz still going on with "news" is making me sick. I can see the charade and I am sorry for letting myself become so engulfed by it before. You just have to find the new colours in life. And living in a world that does not support much more than econonomic slavery it's pretty damn tough to find ways to exist while being free and able to live out your dreams.
Ask yourself why you think you would have chosen this life for yourself. What where you hoping to accomplish on this really scary planet? Surely it takes a lot of bravery to incarnate here, but nevertheless there still exists Love and wonders here too. You just gotta figure out where to direct your attention, what part you want to play in the story, what you think you can accomplish that will make you grow. Ask yourself, is throwing in the towel something you will regret after reviewing your life in the spirit realm? Would you rather be met by dissapointment from your closest and mostly by yourself for your choices to give up on all opportunities you set up for yourself?
I don't have the answers to you. And I don't know if any words will help you at all. But I do hope that you once again can find the meaning of your existence and pull yourself out of that place you sadly have put yourself into. The sad truth is no one will do it for you, that is all part of the lesson. But if you manage to pull yourself back up and experience wonders once again that life has to offer, I'm sure everyone and especially you have the right reasons to feel pride over your success rather than disapointment over your failure. It's all a series of choices you have to make, in essence you DO create your reality by those.
...Me Too Hopi........ Welcome To The Exhausted Club...:)....Its Your Choice Really....Either Pull Yourself Up....Or Dig Deeper Into The Spiral Of The Downward Depths........However You Choose..... I Wish You Well......Your Not Alone....Believe Me....Hugs.....<3...............x....
Hi! I know you are getting a lot of replies to this discussion so I will try and be brief.
I have been feeling the way you are now since about 1982 which is a long time.
My problem is that I had some kind of ENTITY VISITATION and now it's gone or it feels
that it's gone leaving me feeling worse now that when it was here.
This year I have found it increasingly difficult however in that I follow the Kryon chanels through Lee Carroll
Kryon says that we are like Transducors in the Earth. And I have a gut feeling that depression is like a by product if you will that we feel because of all of the bad negative crap that we are passing through our light bodies. I get some comfort from knowing this. Ocassionally I get some upliftments but they are few and far between. I guess we just keep holding on. Hope this and what others have contributed helps in some kind of way. Ivor.
Internets a dead cigarette.