Spiritual Forum

Exactly this is a phenomenon we all have to deal with.

The older I get the more I do not understand others, and I guess others would say the same thing about me. It sounds really discouraging appearing as if age is a bitch.

Well, Murphy`s law takes the whole case funny-serious and claims mother nature being a bitch. Anyway. I feel myself trapped within me, and again I guess others would say similar words.

Almost my whole life I had to do with language, and I pretty much consider myself - hm, if not enlightened then maybe the opposite from being a bit dim.

In languages which are not my mother tongue (like english) I often come to my limit. It is not only the words, but syntax and aspects and feelings.

But I spoke of my unability to understand the older I get. I often ask myself what the hell is going on.  And not seldom I sruggle with me over falling into a state of hating myself.

Have I become a ramshakle man with frozen styles of thinking? Am I going to become insane? Have I missed something when I trained my skills listening? Is my existence at least fucking porky pie? Do I wake up only to see that I stuck in a fucking dream or dream of dreams or dream of dreams of dreams?

I live by myself in a big house with much space, and I have time to do what I want to. I eat and drink what I like and live a pretty disciplined life as I used to. I have the privilege meeting only those I want to meet. I am absolutely not disappointed with my life. But I recognize I have difficulties to understand other people. I mean not phonetically or from words and grammer, but from the meaning they want to transport.

I even not really understand much of your posts in here. I humbly admit that I can try as often as I want to - much appears as Hebrew to me. I do not understand 5D and 12D and whatever D. I don`t understand why many complain duality. I read many channellings and do not understand what makes them extraordinary. I do not understand why I am unable to understand many claims and approaches.

Nonetheless I came here and love to be here. I can also imagine that many feel no affinity to my posts. Here it is again - a difficulty to understand not only from my side.

Shall I stay away from this forum? Is this a call for mental and whatever resignation?

I have finally no answer to all those questions. But I have a feeling. I believe understanding comes from feeling.

I am trained in argumants. As a student they picked me always for public disputations. Today I see no sense in arguing anymore, only for fun. Arguing is something against boredom. But it does never help in understanding. Understanding is a case of feeling.

This brings me back to a kind of joy. It is true that we humans are deeply limited. We have more affinity to nonsense than to truth, and the reasons appear manyfold. At least there is not much needed for getting awaken. It has to do with love and - feeling. With a soft and fexible mind-soul.

I ask for kind consideration.

Take my warm greetings from Germany...