Actually Hans was a friend of my family. He was a big farmer. I didn´t like him very much. He was a big mouth and a smart ass. His voice was much too loud, and he couldn`t resist being silent in discussions. Each birthday in my home was a big meeting of maybe 30 family friends and a big time of discussions. Hans was always leading in those speeches.
There were 3 kids of Hans. Over the years even those lost a grip on their father, visits became very seldom. His style of educating them was harsh and demanding.
The farmer grew older and reached his 80s. He was the Godfather of my youngest sister, so it was not to avoid staying in touch with him.
One morning he felt on his floor and broke his skull. Three days later he was dead. And Monika, his wife, fullfilled his plan.
When they married, Hans planted an oak tree. Who knows, for what reason, they might have thought in those days. But Hans knew better one day and never forgot about it.
Monika managed to saw down the tree and to build a coffin from it`s planks. A heavy oak tree coffin, very simple ans sober.
Later on she told much about Hans being unknown in public, about his thoughts and his fears of his family falling apart. And about the material he was much reading about. And I got aware, that we, as being "outsiders" of a closed life circle in a family, are most often judgemental about others lives.
Actually, there is not much we really know from others.A very ugly part in recent times is the judgemental side of so called "enlightened ones". it started years ago in those New Age circles, where they always spoke of "love" and "light". And there was always the evangelical ones, who could not stop screaming "O Jesus" in every second sentence. One of them said me one, a demon would have possesed me. And when I had to give a lecture in pastoral convents, it was often, that I was told, I should have had read more in the bible than being too deep into philosophy. Or the lady I know, which is considered enlightened having a group of dedicated followers around her - when she was in rage, she often called others loudly screaming "old fucking cunt" while looking like the devil personally.
You may believe in incarnation or not - one thing is clear to me. The question, of why there are so many people around me, which I mostly dislike, is simply answered: they all want to take part in all that is happening now. And if there should be a time of great disclosure - they want to take part of it. Thats why they are here. Some of them I do like, most of them not, to be honest. But this is not the question, nor is it the answer. Luckily, it all depends not from me, but I can be deliberately part of that, which is happening right now.
And so it happens, that people shake my life in order to make me seeing. I do not look for it, it simply happens. And I start to recognize the waste of time in being judgemental. The Hans story and his oak tree coffin leaves me in a state of pondering about self elected blindness, for being judgemental is blindness indeed. What a mighty symbol is a man planing to have his own oak tree for the day of his own burial! He must have felt the all-connectness of all in divine nature...
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