This is an old word monks said, when it came to the question of what we can do in general, being in a world before God. Facere quod in se est. This word brings us back to ourselves. It makes us responsible, it gives us a final measure in times of countless voices and difficult decisions.

And what lies "within you"? Is it not torn up - more or less - somehow twisted, this vulnarable "within you"? And are there not incredible inputs coming each day to "within you"?

Yes, it does. There are voices in abundance. There is all sorts of inputs, which need to process through our nerves and brain. So what is "within you"?

It is that, which lives within you, which makes you aknowledging "I". It is that, which you love and hate. It is you with all that is vivid thus moving you. And this is asked by those words.

In other words - all that is affecting you, has to do with you. By this you get access to your dreams: even in case you dream of Jesus or Hitler or anybody, it is only about you. Again: it is only about you.

It is a mystery of being, that even the whole universe you perceiving is only perceived by you - it`s affection has only to do with you. Schopenhauer wrote an entire book on the world being an imagination. Of course you can doubt everything, you can call the world real or illusive. But it has to do preliminarily and at first hand with you and only with you.

And that, what is called in our word "within you" is talking about it. You have a "within you", and you must care for it. You can feel it. It is always with you. It represents you.

Here is the very point of work of every lie, deception and diversion:[b] it brings you away from "within you". It makes you doubt. It brings you to deny it, to keep no attention.

Such work is very smart: fist is fear, then doubt, then denial. If that doesn`t work fine, then comes an overload of information and input. You get exhausted and tired.

I am 50 now, I have overstepped the climax of my life, I assume. All my life I was a night hawk. My clearest thoughts and times I had after midnight. So far so good. It was the last couple of years, that I discovered good sleep during night. To keep care of the "within you" it needs good and sufficient sleep.

I got also rid of my tv and news paper. I was a freak in that. Now I only read and watch what I want and in case I`m in the mood. Amazingly I am not uninformed nor "out of the world". For years I have the strong feeling, that books and other stuff come literally "to me", as it is needed. Please, take that not fitting for you! You must find your own arrangement with your "within you".

I only want to mention those countless news even at in here and other blogs, also our fucked up times of desinfo, insults, struggelings and insecurities. There is nothing to change on it. It is, as it is. Shit, but true.

I relate to our "within you" in order to find a halt and footing. We must not forget "to do what lies within you", and that is not zero. Just a little love, a little read, a little think, a little reflexion, a little meditation, a little from everything, as you like it, just continuing being simply edgy fokking human...

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                                                                                           Chapter XXXII

                                                                                   THE DIVINE TRINITY

The…

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