Just as we wish to remove toxins from our food, peace of mind requires removal of toxic people from our daily experience. Absorbing repeated doses of negativity counters your efforts towards personal growth and happiness.
Identifying toxicity in others is crucial but it’s just as if not more important to identify these traits in yourself. After all, you’re with you 24 hours a day. That little voice in your head better be in line with what you want out of life. Here are five characteristics of toxic people to help you recognize behaviors to avoid:
1. They always see themselves as the definitive realists.
Phrases such as “get real,” “come to your senses” and “I told you so” live on the edge of their lips. Although these sentiments may at times be warranted, toxic individuals derive a sense of unmistakable pleasure from uttering them.
They will swear they’re doing you a favor or saving you in some way, but not one ounce of compassion will drip from their words. Condescension paired with satisfaction is their hallmark. Always pay attention to the energy beneath someone’s words. Toxicity is always palpable.
2. They tend to hate everything.
Negative people rarely see goodness anywhere. Finding the downside of anything is their specialty. They tend to negate without discrimination even when they haven’t experienced the things they talk about.
Their lens distorts all aspects of life and as a result they leave no room for wonder or possibility. Do not allow their shadows to block your light.
3. They believe their experience is for everyone.
Toxic people have a habit as using their experience as the benchmark. They will recount their sad stories to serve as proof of life’s injustices. Not only will they use them as a compass for their own navigation, they will use it to judge yours as well.
If their business failed, it’s the reason you shouldn’t start a business. If their heart was broken, you need to run the other way in your relationship. Do not allow their past to dictate your future.
4. They suck the energy out of a room.
There is an unmistakable drop in vitality when toxicity enters a space. The longer the interaction with such an individual, the more drained you feel upon leaving.
Strong, negative personalities draw us out of ourselves. They siphon our energy reserves especially if we meet them head on with resistance. Rather than engage their toxicity, gracefully bow out where you can. Self-preservation is key.
5. They detest genuine optimism.
Being positive doesn’t mean ignoring the ugliness that life sometimes offers. It just means understanding that things don’t have to remain the same. People who strongly believe in this perspective ultimately keep toxicity away.
Optimism is the ultimate threat to negative people. Why? Because it challenges their whole worldview. The mental shifts they would have to make are enormous, so rather than be around positivity, they try to poke holes it in and then run. (Note: This behavior is often exhibited by internet trolls.)
In conclusion, toxicity is usually easy to recognize, although some are exceptionally skilled as disguising their toxicity as genuine concern for you. It takes a little more discernment to see these individuals clearly. It takes even more discernment to recognize these traits in your own behavior.
If you don’t see these characteristics within yourself, congratulations. If you take a close look at your circle and that’s all you see around you, you may not be being honest with yourself.
Whether it’s them or it’s you, it just may be time to detox! Happy healing!
About the Author: Dr. F. Emelia Sam is an oral & maxillofacial surgeon by day and a soul-centered scribe at heart. More interested in mending broken spirits than in mending broken bones, she has authored personal development books including: I Haven’t Found Myself but I’m Still Looking and How to Create the Life You Really Want: 20 Small Strategies for Big Changes. Her numerous articles have been featured on Huffington Post Women, Third Metric, and GPS for the Soul. Dr. Sam created the 360SOUL community which explores themes of life, love, and liberation from a soul-centered perspective.
Replies
Now, I agree with this, Nancy and when I'm in a better mood I might try it out myself. LOL
I can totally relate, Justin...I've often felt like a prisoner in my own home and that's a very hard situation to be in but we must try and make the best of it and keep on our path and have faith that one day things will all change.
I've always liked this statement...no condition is permanent...I always try to keep that in mind.
thanks sylvian i apreciate it ! <3
unfortunately, two things very important:
1) sometimes these 'toxic' people are right: Life in this "real-world / real-life / reality" is not as easy as even the most optimistic person often say (or 'believe', even naively & simplistically).. if only we all really honestly open our eyes, then we will start to see MANY 'harsh' even 'tragic, unfair' reality real-stories & experiences around the world/planet, eg: those who are born in war-zones countries, being killed, murdered in despair & desperate hopeless situations EVERYDAY in their countries, those who are being kidnapped, tortured, and eventually killed without any 'happy' JUSTICE whatsoever (eg: NAZI's camp, everyone?...) , those who are born handicapped, those who are being set-up, tricked, framed, beaten, tortured, jailed, and basically treated UNFAIRLY by those people with the powers & money.
Let's not be blind nor ignorant to not acknowledge all these facts, truth, & Reality.
2) talking words is always much much more easier than our everyday's "doings/actions & experiences" in reality / real-life / real-world..! even just by the fact alone that there ARE some people out there who are even in a life-situation/condition that is almost impossible to escape or get-away 'easily' from all those 'toxic people'! (again, due to 'practical, harsh, & realistic' issues such as: Money, financial circumstances, or big-family concerns, or even being set-up, framed, tricked, cheated, and basically being FORCED/PUSHED to give-up and just "accept Reality" and can't easily get-away nor escape!)
Reality IS reality.
No matter how beautiful, wonderful, or even magical all our words, hopes, dreams, fantasy, and imaginations are...
I agree with this, niki...thank you for your comments.
Even better. I'm sure you'll find what she really needs to help her. :)
Good! As long as you realize what's going on it will be okay.
I agree, Feather...there are all kinds of reasons for they way people are...even when they know they're doing these things and complaining about it...they still do it. They have to want to change before it will happen and we must protect ourselves or they'll drag us down too.
Blessings...
communication.
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