You can tell a lot about someone based on how they walk. Imagine for a moment that a string is attached at your waist, to a person with whom you regularly exchange energy. What is the sensation when he walks far ahead of you, past the limit of the string and pulls? What is the sensation if she suddenly stops and plants her feet firmly on the ground, while you keep walking? Suppose in another situation he comes up behind you and gives you a shove? Of course, the energy of a relationship can be more complicated – someone wishes to control; another person seeks to lead; in another form, someone wishes to be led. Or someone tries to fulfill a want or shape someone to meet his needs. 

Consider a different way of being. What is the sensation walking along side of someone, in balance and in contact? The most natural way is for two people to walk is side-by-side. So how does a person walk along side another person?

1) The beginning movement is to hold the inten­tion to do no harm and the only way to do no harm is be in-learning – to greet the other person with curiosity and openness. Remember that this is a very active state, not passive. Consider the situation when someone holds the energy of “I know what is best for you,” or “I want to help you with my solution.” Energetically, if someone is greeting the world in-knowing, there is very little difference between these two intentions and the actions which flow from them. Help is often given in-knowing.

2) You walk along side someone by listening. The space of walking along side someone is always full of genuine listening.

3) Another quality present, when someone is walking along side another, is “being-with.” There is no simple word for this energetic quality. It is a quality, which is expressed when someone has no agenda. This is an active state of “cutting the strings” in the relationship. It is a movement towards service, appreciation and respect.

Practice

Picture a current relationship – notice and sense are there any pattern(s) to how you walk with this person? The focus of the picture is on you, not the other person – on how you are choosing to walk. Are you behind this person; in front of this person; beside this person; are you below this person? How close or far are you away? If there is a “disturbance” in the relationship, what would you change, if you were to walk side-by-side?

This practice is also important to do with children. Do not teach them to be behind you or beneath you. The nature of a child is to be in-learning and to be connected, walking along side of you.

It would be easy to say, “Oh, I walk side-by-side most of the time.” So pause for a moment – this would mean that you are a good listener, that you are hold judgment and evaluation very lightly, that you see the best in others, because you see their eyes. It means you recognize their gifts and encourage them to express their gifts and that you genuinely smile at them often.

If you were to do nothing else other than this practice, much is to be learned.