It's often that my parents shout at eachother or at my elder brother. It involves stuff that I would normally not start a fight about. I have learned from experience how to handle a situation that I know could lead up to a quarrel. It is simply to just respect the other part and if needed just agree with the other person without expressing your opinion or to prove you are right. This is the solution to neutralize a bubbling to a quarrel for me at home.
Though the other three, my two parents and my brother, are always getting themselves involved. It can be a small thing that just escalates and sometimes even a fight can break loose. When this happened I feel torn apart because no matter how many times I explain to them that what they do won't solve anything they just don't freaking listen..
So lately I've just been trying to watch the drama from a neutral point and ONLY step in when I see things go physical. But I feel so sad that I can't make them understand.. It just feels like I don't want to be a part of their constant drama, but how to not get involved if I am to explain to them?
Just now I got myself involved this night, I felt I had to step in and share my opinion from a neutral point. Directly it felt like I was being accused of taking a side when I explained the root of the problem. You see, the two parts in this family always want to prove their rights and want to blame EVERYTHING on the other person. Then it's hard to just sit idle and do nothing.
What should I do? Let them solve everything by themselves? Or shall I step in and try to solve THEIR problem? They are my family yes, but I don't feel a very strong connection to any of them. It might sound a little harsh but that's the way I feel for them. After years and years of constant fightning and no real family-bond it feels hard to keep them close to me. I would never try to change them in any way, I have just been explaining things for them and sown seeds, but they never seem to get it.
Was it meant to be this way? Constant fightning, even pure hatred towards eachother sometimes.. You'd thouht they had learned after all those years, but there is not a single week without a fightning. Thats some slow learning process... I'm thinking this may be a lesson for them, therefor I don't know what part I should take. But it's very draining living like this and don't know what to do about it.
I don't have a great understanding about past lives, karma, life contracts but I've got a small understanding what they might mean and wonder if they could have something to do with this issue?
Luckily I'm tall and strong for being only 20 years of age, so if it becomes any physical violence I am always prepared to neutralize the situation (happened two or three times, would've gone bad if I was smaller or if I was not present I can assure) so that part is basicly solved and nothing I dread for. It's just being around this constant fighting that is really draining. I am not a person that want any drama and I want a peaceful and harmonious life.. and they just can't understand it all..
So what are your thoughts on this? I got a lot of thoughts spinning in my head after these events and I find it hard to relax, any time they can be at it again and I feel uneasy to just relax in times like these.