God asked himself one fine day, I mean lets face it all days in heaven are fine, I need to send forth my name sake but not so obvious, what shall one do, mmmm God sighed. A little angel looked up and asked could you not go forth as a dog, oh I see and reverse my name what a clever little angel you are. Would you go on my behalf, and on your returning shall honour you with half yes thank you father, what is asked of me go to earth and fetch for me a bone dig deep dig far and wide. So the dog went forth sniffing and digging every where upon the earth, and when the dog had returned god said well done to thee, for even every tree had come to acknowledge me. For where did you find my bone within, ah how simple things are, now do run along and play with your other half well I did say I would give you half.

The lord Bacchus after a long life on the drink passes back to the after life, and a almighty voice calls, have you trodden the wine press of the lord, and tasted of his cup, and Bacchus replies, sorry father I know your voice is mighty but could you say it a bit more quietly "sorry".

Why did Moses take the ferry, because it was the Lords day off. 

Living in this world is like making out with a prostitute, you get fucked and then on top of that you got to pay for it.