I forgive myself for believing that flesh is everlasting, and putting my heart into something that was surreal and not into something that I couldn't see. I was always convinced that I was learning how to understand what was going on and that it was actually possible to understand what's real. In a sense, only God is real. Because there's no one here and not even a group of people who could ever have an explanation or an accurate description for what is going on. What we perceive as real is actually just a sad attempt at making sense of what we don't know or can't possibly understand. What we can't see is what God does see. He sees us, and our intentions as well as our sorrows and concerns. It's a matter of faith. That's all life is. What you see is what you get. Everything else you just have to see as a work of something greater than you. And so...If you fight it it's stupid. Don't fight something you don't see, or if it is greater than you. Don't do it, because it's hard to win. And its actually just denying the purpose of life. You can't explore and discover if you always just want to win. And when you wanna win, there's no way you're helping the rest of life become faithful in the discovery of knowledge. 

So, in the light of all this, I still prepare myself for Jesus' return. Cuz that would be the shit... wouldn't it?